Manic Motherhood at it's FINEST!!

Why "I am NOT a VOLCANO!"

Why "I am NOT a VOLCANO!"
click the volcano for the due explanation
"In all of living, have much fun and laughter. Life is to be enjoyed, not just endured." — Gordon B. Hinckley
Exaggeration is the spice of life

Book I am Currently Reading: Peter and The Shadow Thief

Saturday, February 6, 2010

Not Me Mondays

Welcome to Not Me Mondays, where we confess to all of our embarrassing shortcomings by denying that it was us in the first place. Click the buttons above for more information.

I have mentioned before that the last few days have been cranky city around our house. And I already know that some of the pictures below don't make sense when related to my blog, but I decided against posting the naked pics of Scarlet I took for fear of CPS, no matter how cute her tushie is, and I can't stand a blog without pics. So there you have it. Anyway, the weekend rolled in with a roar, and I have some good stuff for you.

First of all, I did NOT forget to write my weekly love notes to my children on Friday night, because I did NOT conk out just after they went to bed even though I had dinner (Fondue with my parents) that I should have been cleaning up. They were broken hearted.

Once again, I did NOT sleep the afternoon, and much of the evening away on Saturday night, while Brandon put the kids to bed, then ran to WalMart for me to shop for my mailing supplies for Spoons For Scarlet while I did NOT continued to sleep.

On Friday night, Scarlet did NOT disappear upstairs for a split second wile her grandparents were visiting, and return butt naked. And, no, I did NOT let her stay naked because she's so darned cute!

Back to Saturday, Scarlet assuredly did NOT stuff 6, yes, 6 DVDs into the player at once, and Lilly, of course, DID NOT confess to doing it herself, and I did NOT spend the next fifteen minutes lecturing her while I unscrewed all the screws in the DVD player to pop off the top and remove them, only to figure out that, obviously, Lilly wouldn't do this and of course it was Scarlet who did NOT do it. . (But since I did NOT yell at Lilly the whole time, I don't have to feel guilty, right?) However, I am absolutely proud of Lilly, who had the guts to stand up, say she was sorry and take the heat for it. I know when she IS guilty, she'll be responsible for it. PS- the DVD player still works. Hooray for me and my skills.

Mahone did NOT spit a wad of bubble gum the size of my fist (I'm only slightly exaggerating.) into the toilet and clog it. Again, my skills took care of that easily, but he was grounded forever from gum.

Neither did Mahone run into the road while at the store, and when my dad grabbed him and yanked him out of the way just in time for a huge, pimped out black Dodge Ram who was NOT going waaaay over the designated 25 mph parking lot speed, and when my dad told him he was supposed to hold his hand, he did NOT inform him that "Indy (Indiana Jones) doesn't hold hands!" Well, my son, Indiana Jones isn't 3 years old!

Have you ever seen Charlie and the Chocolate factory? Well, as I've mentioned before, my children have seen it a hundred times. Lilly, with her big ol' wad of gum from Ammah, did NOT decide to be Violet the gum chewer, and did NOT attempt to 'save' it behind her ear, so I did NOT have to spend the next 45 minutes rubbing the gum, and the skin behind her ear with ice and ever so carefully pulling her hair out of it strand by strand to avoid having to cut her hair like a boy.

(For the record, this picture was taken AFTER I removed the huge wad that was there- I need to start thinking about my camera SOONER.)

I did NOT mutter a snotty remark under my breath at church when someone left themselves wide open for a dirty/sarcastic remark.

I did NOT totally zone out while Brandon was relating to me all the fascinating aspects of using explosive chemicals to his chemistry lab last Thursday, because I am oh-so-interested!

And last, but not least, I did NOT pee on my entire supply of pregnancy tests (5), JUST IN CASE, because "AF" turned out to be quite mild spotting as opposed to a full on shedding of my uterine lining, and since I figured out that I am late, I have NOT clung to the rope that was my almost-blue-line from last Thursday. All were negative. But AF still isn't here. So, I'm NOT still clinging.


Casey said...

I haven't seen this type of thing before but it was great! It makes me feel like I am not alone! Thanks for sharing

Sherri said...

That was NOT the best post ever and I did NOT laugh out loud the whole time! And I have NOT ever had any of those situations in my house. I did NOT think the gum behind the ear was my absolute favorite!!! =)

Andrea said...

Just love it! Especially the comment at church, I have so been there!
Thank you for your wonderful comment on my blog:-)

Pink Slippers said...

Love your's adorable and so is your family.

ALI said...

Sending you sticky baby dust, as you don't cling to any form of hope...

And will you POAS in the morning for me? Please?

Very cute entry!

RaD said...

Gum behind the ear ewwww.... Hopefully my children never pick up on that :)

Serene is my name, not my life! said...

LOL! That was a totally awesome post!!! I'm so very glad you found me and would stoop to my low blog to leave a cool comment.
Seriously, I love your blog!! Awesome.

Your Mommy Friend Lori said...

LOVE LOVE LOVE this post. I think we may be living parallel lives. I enjoy your site, so glad I found you!

Jenilee said...

oh her poor ear! :) that is too funny. Every time I watch that movie I wonder if kids try some of that stuff! and, my kids have done the dvd player thing. not fun. thankfully, my hubby did all the screwing and fixing. :)

Lindsey said...

LOVE IT! I did not let my three-year-old snack on oyster crackers and jelly bellies for three hours while running errands and allow her to blow off dinner tonight!

Startup Wife said...

Oh my goodness, I LOVED this post. (And I just found your blog!) I am laughing so hard at "Indiana Jones doesn't hold hands"--hahahaha, that's adorable.

Also, wow, that gum!!

lovemylevi said...

LOL! Thanks for the laugh :-)

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...