Brag & Blab Monday

I KNOW!! I'm finally posting again! Are you shocked? It's been nearly a month! (And I was honestly SURE that it was longer than that, as I haven't even OPENED my blog since my morning sickness kicked in, and I honestly thought it'd been more like 2 months)

I have to say, too, that I am truly touched by the emails I have received by my readers inquiring about my health, and questioning weather or not I'm alright. Yes! I am! (A little woozy and lacking energy, overly exhausted and extremely cranky, especially if one were to ask my Lilly- but I'm okay!) And I'm back- though, I can't guarantee I'll have the stamina to blog every single day yet. MOST of my days are pretty okay lately.

This is really the shortest stint of morning sickness I've EVER experienced. With Lilly, it was like a perpetual stomach flu for 16 weeks, with multiple bouts of vomit per day, lots of sleeping from the time I got home from work on Friday night, not even waking for meals, until I had to wake for work on Monday morning, and food aversions so strong that I would vomit at the thought of them. My strongest craving was cheese puffs, though no one- including my pastry goddess mother in law- new what they were or how to make them. Truth was, neither did I. I had NO idea. I just heard them mentioned while watching That 70's Show and wanted them desperately.

With Mahone, the frame was about as long. 16 weeks before it let up, though i vomited twice only, and my biggest aversion was laundry detergent. I still remember my house being a pigsty and my laundry piling up to major proportions. I craved 2 things with that pregnancy- cheese dogs from Hot Dog On A Stick, peach flavored soft serve frozen yogurt. I wasn't able to get either of these things. I lived in New Jersey at the time, and the closest Hot Dog on a Stick was in Ohio. There WAS a TCBY at every truck stop along the utterly and horribly distorted and confusing interstate highways, though they only had chocolate, vanilla or swirl. Obviously, since I was craving peach, they were not satisfactory. The other possibility was the TCBY in Atlantic City, which was over 2 hours away. I planned to go on some weekend. But we never made it.

Scarlet was much better, and while I had that gooey nasty feeling in my belly nearly all the time, but I didn't throw up once. My house got messy, my laundry piled up, and I was ridiculously mean to my children for a few months, but otherwise, I got through it without serious issues, though it still lasted the average 16 or so weeks. I had serious cravings for raspberry filled doughnuts, which was spectacular because we had a Krispy Kreme down the street from us. The other thing I craved was a lemon dessert from Johnny Carrino's that was just divine. It was a lemon flavored cake that was filled with a creamy lemon filling, and smothered in a tangy, sour, lemon sauce and topped with sweet strawberries. I wasn't NEAR a JC's, but when we went to Birmingham for a temple trip, i was able to have lunch there, only to discover that they had discontinued the lemon dessert. GAH!!!!! You can imagine my frustration.

THIS pregnancy, however, has been solidly different. My morning sickness has been less sickness, and more exhaustion. Much wooziness, but not a LOT of actual nausea. Not that it isn't there. But then, it's also mostly at night. I'm usually fine in the morning, start getting tired around Scarlet's nap time, and then by the time they're in bed I'm sick enough to flop into bed with the lights on and crash and burn. At least I can mostly sleep through the worst of it. It's letting up, too. I feel much better more often, and I'm only at 10 weeks. That used to make me nervous, as a sudden disappearance of symptoms could mean travesty. Thank heavens for my sweet and patient nurse, who has spent much time with me on the phone, calmly, willingly and supportively calming my fears with reassurance and understanding. I have noticed that, even though i feel much better than I normally do, and some days I feel pretty normal, it is far from a 'sudden disappearance' of symptoms. I can always count on my exhaustion to kick in at least by bedtime. And in the mean time, I'm counting myself lucky. I'm especially more confident in my condition as I started being able to feel sweet baby flutters about a week ago. I am, as of today, 10 weeks and 4 days!!!

So anyway, now that you've had a not-so-short rundown of my entire pregnancy history, I can get on with my blogging.

Brag and Blab Monday.

I won't be including a mr. linky this week, as I'm writing this Monday night, and normally I post my blogs the night before the day it will be 'valid' and so, tomorrow doesn't really count for this. Also, I have to warn my Touchy Topic Tuesday fans that I won't be posting one tomorrow. I will be posting tomorrow night, but it will be for Wordless Wednesday and You Know You're A MOM When... BUT, assuming I still am feeling up to blogging next week (chances look good) then there WILL be a TTT- which seems to be a favorite amongst my readers.

So here you go, friends: Brag And Blab Monday!!!!

Brag:

I took Lilly to her kindergarten assessment on June 1st, and Lilly did spectacularly!!!

Let me break a few things down.

Our kindergarten has 3 classes:
Monday-Friday, with Wednesdays off Mornings or Afternoons.
And a full day class that goes Monday- Friday, no day off.
Well, I learned awhile ago that the full day class is only for students who essentially don't know anything and are not ready for kindergarten.

The teacher, upon finishing Lilly's assessment, asked what my preference was, and I said Mornings, (because morning starts at 8:20, and then ends at 12:00, and on Tues and Thurs, Mahone has preschool in the afternoon an hour away. Preschool doesn't get out until 4, so I'd need her in the morning or I'd have to have a babysitter pick her up at 3:20 until I got home at 5:00...LOOOOOONG story)

Anyway, the teacher asked me if I might consider putting her in the FULL DAY class because she gets to choose EXCEPTIONALLY SMART STUDENTS to fill 1/4 of that class because the peer interaction that the not-on-par students get from the exceptional students is just as beneficial for them as the teacher's attention!!

She said that she is very impressed with Lilly, and the only POSSIBLE way she can get into the full day class is if she comes in as one of the exemplary kids.

Of course I asked if this class would hinder my daughter's education at all, and she said absolutely not, because the work day is actually very intense. They don't have homework because of the intensity, but they do a lot of work in class, and she said that she has been teaching the full day class for 15 years and has NEVER had an exceptional student fall behind or become bored as they actually can in the mainstream kindergarten classes. She said Lilly is quite possibly too advanced for me to put her in a regular class, and she would worry about her progress THERE.

She also asked if my son would be skipping a grade and coming into kindergarten this year (just in talking to him, she learned that he can already read and he'll be four in July) I told her no, that he'll still be going to preschool this year.

So I came home and called Lilly's preschool teacher (my mom) and talked about it. We're putting Mahone in the morning class instead of the afternoon, and I'll be back at noon before Lilly is out of school at 3:20, though on Tuesdays and Thursdays, I'll have to ask another mom on the playground to watch her until school starts as I'll have to leave by 8:00 to get my son to school.

Anyway, we're working things out because my mom, I and her future teacher feel that this is the best thing to do for Lilly so that she doesn't get forgotten or ignored because of the abilities she already has. Of course, there's a small possibility that she won't be able to make the class because the teacher DID say that she has to do more assessments and they only have a limited number of spaces. I'm not too worried, though. Lilly really IS awfully brilliant.
I'm SOOOO proud!

Blab: There are a few things that I really really need to complain about. Believe it or not, during the last month, I haven't been actually dead to the world- I HAVE been online a little bit, mostly on my January '11 birth board on Baby Center. And there are just a few things that seriously irk me about women on that site:

1. I don't give a flying rat's arse what you do with your son's penis. I really don't. It's inconsequential to me, and your child's private parts are none of my business. However, I DO circumcise. Yes, I feel that that is a very educated decision made because of research as well as discussions with our pediatrician as well as between my husband and me. I am sick to death of the attitude that if I HAD done my research, then I wouldn't be circing and therefore, i need to be further educated on the matter. I'm not dumb, I'm not uneducated. I feel that I am doing what's best for my child.

Furthermore, on the same topic, I am so tired of seeing circumcision of boys be compared to tribal tradition of circumcising girls. It is a blatant misuse of argument as there is nothing even similar about the two of them. Female circumcision is done to prevent a woman from EVER being able to experience sexual pleasure, as from that time on, intercourse is painful, and since the clitoris is removed entirely, she can not experience climax. It has absolutely ZERO to do with cleanliness, or even aesthetics as is on the top of the list of reasons for male circumcision. It is done as a sort of chastity belt, to prevent women from ever seeking out sexual pleasure from a man other than her husband- as though it were pleasurable in the first place. Knowing what I know about MEN, there is nothing like this going on at all. My husband is circumcised...and he has now fathered 4 children. Without pain.

I also find it incredibly hilarious that one of the main arguments for not ciricing is that uncircumcised men feel greater sexual pleasure than men who are not circumcised. Am I really the only person who calls Bullcrap on this one? I mean, in order for anyone to really know if the pleasure is so much better, a man would have had to have been sexually active for a decent amount of time to experience enough of it to get an opinion, then be circumcised and continue to be sexually active long enough to claim an opinion. The only articles I've ever read about this sort of claim is made by men who are angry at their parents for having circ'd them when they were babies. And it's bogus. Parents decide all the time what to do for their children, and while there are some pretty crappy parents out there, for the most part, all parents love their children, and only want what's best for them. If one feels that their parents have screwed up because of a thing like circumcision because you don't feel like you are sexually fulfilled, then it's probably a better idea to overlook it in the name of your parents having done what they felt was best, and invest in a Kama Sutra.

And last but not least, while Christians know that the law of circumcision has been removed from lawful religious practice, I find it incredibly humorous that so many people say "God put it there, it should be left there" when in fact, Jews and Christians alike very deeply study the bible- old and new testaments. God put it there, alright, but he also told us to remove it, revoked law or not. Christ himself was circumcised at 8 days old, and the frequent argument that he wasn't, in fact, is ridiculous. I know of NO evidence that Jews practiced a ceremony of 'blood letting' where they prick the end of the uncircumcised penis and let a few drops of blood out- INSTEAD of actually circumcising their boys, though I DO know that in the Old Testament, Moses's wife circumcises their son and then throws the foreskin at his feet. Sounds complete to me. One last thing- Jesus's circumcision was not his baptism, which many passionately against circing mothers say: "Circumcision by water" as opposed to a traditional 8 day old Jewish boy bris.

2. "Stolen Thunder": Who the heck cares if your sister in law or sister, or cousin, or whoever is pregnant at the same time you are? Pregnancy isn't about attention, and if it is to you, then you probably need to dig a bit deeper and learn to love yourself more.

So many people complain about the mean and hurtful comments that their friends and families make in their unsupport of their pregnancy, and the same people whine and cry about a friend who announces their pregnancy and they're due at the same time. STOLEN THUNDER!!!! Ugh. Isn't being all irritated that you're not the only one expecting doing the same thing to that woman, who should be able to be thrilled and excited about her pregnancy, that those unsupportive family members and friends did to you by saying rude and inappropriate things? I should say so.

Anyway, not everyone gets pregnant on purpose. Not everyone announces that they're trying to get pregnant. How do you know they haven't been trying for months? Or even years? How do you know that they got pregnant to spite you? Um...sorry, but I doubt it in 99.9% of cases. You ask "Is it too much to ask for for those I love to be happy for my addition?" Well, now I ask, is it too much to ask for YOU to be accepting and happy for your friend/sister in law/sister, etc. who is pregnant too? Put on your big girl panties and realize this isn't 3rd grade. It's not a contest, and pregnancy should never be used as an attention getter.

For the record, I've never been able to be pregnant with my friends. I've been pregnant at the same TIME as my friends, but I've always been across the country. I would LOVE the opportunity to be pregnant with a friend. Even more so, with a sister or sister in law.

3. Baby showers: Another thing I am so sick of is hearing how it's inappropriate to have a baby shower for any child other than your first.

The most common argument for this is that a baby shower is for the first child because people bring you big items and then you are expected to use those items for subsequent children.

Well, let me ask this question: How many "big" items have YOU received at your baby shower? I was lucky enough to have 2 showers- one with my first, and one with my second, as the first was a girl and the second was a boy. My mom gave me an awesome baby jogger at my first shower, but otherwise, we have purchased all of our big items including cribs, mattresses, strollers, car seats, high chairs, etc. Mostly, people brought me clothing and accessories for my babies, but nothing big. Do YOU take big items to baby showers? Well, I sure as heck am not going to show up at a shower with a 400 dollar crib. (For the record, my regular baby gift is Baby 411, and Teething Bling (which is awesome- google it.) and an occasional book for the new dad called Be Prepared: A Mans Guide to Parenthood.)

Not only all that, but I think that the majority of women who think that only one baby shower is appropriate, are first time moms, expecting to purchase all gender neutral everything and then use it for all 10 children they might have.

How ridiculous. Who wants to dress her baby girl in yellow and green onesies for the first 3 months of her life? Furthermore, who wants to dress ANY baby in blow-out poop and spit up stained baby clothes? Because, believe it or not, even baby clothes wear out.

Honestly, I just don't see the difference between having a baby shower and having a birthday party for a previously birthed child. I mean, do you tell a kid "You can never have a birthday party again because you got one on your first birthday." And do you tell your younger children "You can't ever have a birthday party because your older brother/sister got one, and it's inappropriate to celebrate EVERY child." Uh....no.

Point made? I think so.

Brag & Blab and Not Me Monday

I did NOT break out my maternity clothes because I am already too fat to fit into my regular jeans. Yes, they are big...but SOOOO much more comfortable than squeezing into something so tight that you look like a muffin. I did NOT let my kids have lemonade girl scout cookies and milk for breakfast. I did NOT bawl my eyes out at church (pregnancy hormones on the fritz) during primary when all the kids were singing the mother's day song they sang last week and both my kids turned to look at me, wave, and blow kisses. I did NOT also almost fall asleep later that hour, and have to get up and walk around the church to keep from nodding off. I am NOT feeling insecure about my baby because I am not yet feeling sick .

You know how this works, my friends!!! Use this button to link back to me, link up, and then brag about something wonderful, and blab about something that sucks!

Brag: I got to spend the evening with Brandon's mom and dad and their kids last night. it was AWESOME! We love them so very much. I was sad to leave because we were having so much fun!!!!

Blab: Well, I wasn't going to sink to their level, but this is the crappiest thing that has happened in a long time.

You know how I used to write a fairy story on Saturdays for my 'other' blog (thegossamerjewelbox)- that one? Well, I've never really been shy about the kind of big dork I am, and that I LOVE to take pictures of fairies. YES, I do do some mainstream stuff- I have some really excellent (I think) pictures of my kids- portrait style- but really, I just like the hobby of it. Never have I proclaimed myself a professional, or even 'good' at it. I just LIKE it. It's a hobby. It was fun for me. I have never had any classes and I'm teaching myself to use photo shop, so I know I have a lot to learn. But I always figured that you have to start SOMEWHERE, and no one was ever good when they were beginning.

Well, on Friday, after two days of waiting through their 2 day 'waiting period' (lest, heaven forbid, they get a spammer) I was finally able to join the January 2011 birth board- which is why I joined http://www.thebump.com/ in the first place. It's an okay board, but it's slow. So I branched out and visited boards like "SAHM's" and "Preschoolers" and "Photography"

The "Photography" board was an absolute mistake because within 10 minutes of posting about my interest in photography, and the kind of photography I like to do, I was made fun of and had at least 2 other threads started with the explicit goal of demeaning me, my blog, and my hobby.

So I deleted the link.

Those who had already been there passed it around and started making mocking pictures of their babies with goat horns on their heads.

They lectured me about how my photography is no good. And it just went on and on.

My gossamer jewel box blog received over 500 hits that day from this site, and they continued to not only bash my pictures, but also to bash my writing and talk about how I abuse my dog.

So I had to set it to private.

Maybe one day- years from now, I will no longer have that blog private. But in the mean time, it's my own space. I am no longer so confident, now, in the possibility that someday I'll be 'pretty good' - which is what I was aiming for.


Still, I love it. I LOVE making wings and dressing my kids up and playing with photo shop. Even if I need a lot of education on the subject. So, even though my dignity has been crushed, I'm going to refuse to stop playing.


If you would like to check out the hateful things they said, please do at these links. All I wanted was to maybe receive some pointers, talk about styles, and maybe get some tutorials about photo shop. Stupid me. (Oh, and notice- I have 3 posts in TOTAL. And none of them were rude in the slightest.)

http://community.thenest.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/36703585.aspx
http://community.thenest.com/cs/ks/forums/36725668/ShowThread.aspx#36725668
http://community.thenest.com/cs/ks/forums/36717589/ShowThread.aspx#36717589 BTW, I am USUALLY totally up for other people's comments, whether the agree or disagree. And I don't care if people like my style or not. I realize that I'm a little strange and that my ideas are- for lack of a better word- weird. I'm cool with people disagreeing. I have never been one to want people to give me false praise or blow sunshine up my skirt, or pee rainbows or any of those other chat board phrases for 'brown nosing'. It might come from years upon years of creative writing classes- but criticism is good. I like criticism- especially the constructive kind. But I'm not okay with personal attacks, and I can honestly say that I have never in my whole life been involved in something this lacking in tact or basis, nor have I ever tried to hurt someone or diminish their importance the way these GROWN WOMEN have tried to do to me. (It makes me wonder who these women think they are, acting all high and mighty. Who taught them EVERYTHING, and forgot to teach them respect, tolerance, and love? It makes me sad for their children, because I know that MY children will be dealing with THEIR children when they grow up. And that is a depressing thought.)

Forgive me when I say that right now, my pride is completely shattered- and I'm perfectly okay if you looked at my Gossamer Jewel Box blog once upon a time, and thought it was crap. I very sincerely respect differences in opinion. But I'm not posting, nor reading, any comment that may attack me here. I have it under pretty good authority that they found THIS blog while searching for it on google.com after I set it to private. So if any of them have anything demeaning or negative to say to me, it'll be deleted before anyone else has a chance to see it. Because after I slander their names all over my blog, their value is gone.

Brag and Blab

Hellooooooo, everyone! Happy Monday!!! Welcome to my Meme!!!

As always, I promise much comment love to all who participate! Want to know how???

1. Grab my B&BM button from my left top sidebar to link your blog back here to mine.

2. BRAG! Brag about something you did that is great. Brag about your hubby or your kids. This is your ultimate "na-na-na-na-na!" moment!
3. Blab- tell us what's bothering you. Complain. Whine. Show us what a downer you truly are! LOL!
4. Link up in the Mr. Linky provided, and comment here, and on the two blogs posted before you.

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My Brag: Brandon.

I often tease my husband by telling him that he is a trophy husband. All the girls wanted him. I got him. And I think every other woman on this planet got the short end of the stick. (na-na-na-na-na.)

Not only is my husband excessively handsome, he also treats me like a princess. He lets me sleep in every single time he is home for the day. He lets me take naps in the afternoon. He helps with house work, and he's an excellent father.

Brandon is an actor. He can do any accent you want him to, and fool people who are native to that country. (YAY for Charlie- his alter-ego who speaks with a cockney British accent. I swear, two of my three children are his.)



Let's hear it for the boy, friends. There's no man like my man.



My blab:

Lilly has a lump on the right side of her neck. We saw it on Sunday at church. It's the size of a pea and it moves around. I'm calling the doctor today, and I'm terrified for her. I hope it's not cancer. She had a little lump there when she was just a baby and always has- but I took her to the doc for that too, and they said it wasn't really anything, just a fat deposit or lymph nodes or something. But they were military doctors, so who knows. Lilly isn't ever terribly sick. She has had a cough and a stomach flu this winter, but nothing else. She isn't tired all the time, and she's very active. I'm so terrified that something awful might be happening to my very vibrant little girl. (and if anyone has any comforting words, I am SOOOO totally up for them.)

Brag & Blab Monday!!

Hey, everyone!! Welcome to Brag & Blab Monday!!!!

The way it works:

1. Grab my Brag & Blab Monday button on the left hand sidebar.

2. BRAG about something that is so spectacularly awesome, you just have to tell the world.

3. Blab about something or someone awful. Something that really sucks.

4. LINK UP!!! Leave a comment for me and the two people above you on the linky. I promise to spread the comment love myself to all who link with me!!

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My Brag: My entire house was spotless, perfectly clean AND smelled good on Friday before I went away for the weekend. (That NEVER happens.)

My Blab: I hate money. I really hate money. I am so sick of this recession and there not being enough jobs to go around, and there not being enough money to go around. I'm tired of not being able to make the bills, and waiting until we're out of everything before I can go to the store. I'm tired of credit card debt and a vicious cycle that I can't get out of. To be honest, sometimes I think I must be crazy trying to raise children, or even wanting more, in a world like today's. Money isn't everything. And I don't want to be rich. I just don't think it's fair when they have to struggle.

My new Meme and Not Me Monday!!!!

I am NOT using Not Me Monday in the hopes that everyone sees the first day of my first meme, and chooses to participate!!! **Okay- for REALLY REAL, I participate every Monday, so that's not ENTIRELY true. Mckmama, I'm not JUST taking advantage here! LOL!***

I also did NOT wait until Saturday night to get my kids Easter basket stuff.

This morning, I did NOT eat half of their candy.

I did NOT sleep through part of conference. (I LOVE you guys [First Presidency, Apostles, 70's] but I was just so dang tired.)

Over at Supah's, I also participate in "All About Meme Mondays" where, today, we're talking about Love Languages.

I took the quiz, and it turns out, my love language is:


Quality Time
In the vernacular of Quality Time, nothing says, “I love you,” like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there–with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby–makes your significant other feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful.

I absolutely did not expect this. My husband took one of these quizzes for a class in school, and said that he thought I was the one who likes to recieve gifts. I thought so too- and I'm not talking about expensive jewelry or major worldly things- just like, when he brings me my favorite candy bar from the store, or flowers. That kind of thing. Nothing big.

Though, when i took the quiz, and got Quality time as a result, I thought, right away, that it fit. Brandon and i don't get a lot of time together. He works full time and goes to school just about every night. He has Sundays off, but those don't count. So when we have 10 minutes together, it's so very precious.

Time for my NEW MEME!!!!!

Brag and Blab Mondays!!!!!

First step: link to my blog by grabbing the "Brag & Blab Monday" button on the upper left sidebar.

Step two: BRAG!!!

Okay, I need to clarify. This isn't your regular "I'm happy because...." post. This isn't your run of the mill "My kids are so cute because...." post.

No, no, no, this is a blatant "I'm BETTER THAN YOU BECAUSE...." post. You can brag about something you did, how you look, what your child did, how your hubby is so awesome, etc. It doesn't matter. But it HAS to be actual BRAGGING.


Step three: BLAB!!!


Spill it, sister! Give us the dirt, the dish, the scoop, KISS AND TELL! I wanna hear your complaints, your gossip, who did what, and why your mom or mother in law is so awful!!!


(I know. Satan is clearing out a room for me in Hell.)


Now, I know a lot of us have family members or friends who read our blogs and you don't want to dish the dirt on them here. That's fine! I'll settle for a pity party about how your weekend sucked or you wish you had more money, or you hate the color of your car. Fine with me!!!



I hope you all participate! I PROMISE to leave comments for everyone who links up! Hopefully, you all find this fun enough to come and play!

MY INPUT:
Brag: Yeah, I have the worlds cutest kids. I really honestly do. I really don't know any cuter kids, and no, i don't think I'm biased!

Blab: I am SOOOO ticked! My camera (Nikon D40) is broken. I don't know how because I'm overprotective of it, and always very careful. I went to take pictures of my kids when they were getting into their Easter baskets and it wouldn't auto focus, nor would it let me manually focus the lens. For some reason, the lens won't rotate. So I'm pissed. Again, it's one thing after another, and now we either have to spend the money to get it fixed at a shop (which might not be too expensive. Brandon thinks that it should be an easy fix- there's a lose part of the lens inside that we can't seem to get into place, but otherwise, nothing seems to actually be broken or cracked- hopefully it's not too expensive.) OR we are going to have to buy a new lens (the camera itself works just fine.) 200 dollars or so, but Brandon thinks that might be cool, because then he could get his 55-300 zoom lens that he has been drooling over for like 3 years now. Unfortunately we don't have 200 bucks. GAH!!! I'd honestly rather have to survive without my internet/blog than my camera. I take pictures of my kids daily! (okay...hourly.)

Okay- tame blab, I know, but that's the thing that's been on my mind and really really frustrating lately. I am perfectly sure that I'll have lots more things to complain about and lots more drama to relate.

PLEASE participate and help me get this show on the road!!!

MY NEW MEME, Feel Good Friday, and Letters of Intent

(For Feel Good Friday and Letters of Intent, please scroll down. Before I get to that, I'm going to announce my new MEME!!!!!!!)

My new Meme!

I'm very excited to announce "Brag & Blab Mondays"

I have, for a long time, wanted to host my own meme, complete with a Mr. Linky and everything. And I have wracked my brain trying to think of a topic that everyone can relate to, that everyone can do, and something that they would want to do.

Okay, so if you know me at all, you know that I'm a total attention diva. I hog the spotlight. Or try to.

If you know me at all, you know that I am also a huge bawl bag. I complain about everything. I know. Negativity is soooo not becoming. Technically, bragging and gossiping are never in style...but here, on I am NOT a VOLCANO, Mondays showcase an awesome fashion show for the proud and sharp tongued!!!!

Yes, I know. I'm ahead of myself. It's Friday. Not Monday- but I'm bringing it up now to let you get a head start.

First things first: GRAB THIS BUTTON FOR YOUR POST!!! (also available on my left sidebar)



<a border="0" href="http://www.becauseidontscrapbook.blogspot.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://i1023.photobucket.com/albums/af351/NotAVolcano/Vintage_Microphone2change.jpg" /></a>

Step two: BRAG!!!

Okay, I need to clarify. This isn't your regular "I'm happy because...." post. This isn't your run of the mill "My kids are so cute because...." post.

No, no, no, this is a blatant "I'm BETTER THAN YOU BECAUSE...." post. You can brag about something you did, how you look, what your child did, how your hubby is so awesome, etc. It doesn't matter. But it HAS to be actual BRAGGING.

Step three: BLAB!!!

Spill it, sister! Give us the dirt, the dish, the scoop, KISS AND TELL! I wanna hear your complaints, your gossip, who did what, and why your mom or mother in law is so awful!!!

(I know. Satan is clearing out a room for me in Hell.)

Now, I know a lot of us have family members or friends who read our blogs and you don't want to dish the dirt on them here. That's fine! I'll settle for a pity party about how your weekend sucked or you wish you had more money, or you hate the color of your car. Fine with me!!!

I hope you all participate! I PROMISE to leave comments for everyone who links up! Hopefully, you all find this fun enough to come and play!

Feel Good Friday!!!!

Five things that are making me happy:

1. Tomorrow, I get to go take Amazon Warrior Princess pictures with two of my very very good friends! If you know anything about me at all, you know how excellently superb this is to me. I LOVE dressing up, putting on war paint, and taking pictures. It's awesome.

2. I am not kidding. I am physically FIGHTING the urge to pee on a stick (pregnancy test)- I can't possibly get a positive until like Monday or something, but I am really feeling like this is THE month!!

3. FINALLY, I think we've made some headway with the military and the ability to get our children's complete shot records. HOORAY!

4. Conference is coming up this weekend. For those of you who are not LDS, Conference happens in April and October. It is so wonderful- when our Prophet and the apostles, and other important people at the head of our church speak at the Conference Center in Salt Lake City, and it's broadcast all over the whole world. I always love conference, and I look forward to it immensely. If you'd like more information, check it out further, or watch it this Sunday (10.00-12.00 for the morning session and 2:00-4:00 for the afternoon session.) go to http://www.mormon.org/

5. Easter Sunday is on Conference Sunday this year! That's so awesome because it means my kids can do Easter egg hunts and eat their candy at home instead of whine through church because they want to go home and eat their Easter candy.

Dear Utah Drivers,

Please, PLEASE, for the love of all that is holy, figure out how to use such things as left turn lanes, roundabouts and blinkers.

See, whoever it was that invented traffic laws, well, let's just say that they were smarter than you are.

A turn lane, for example, makes it possible for you to turn left without having to slow down in the middle of the street and slow down the traffic behind you. If I had a nickle for every driver who slowed down before getting into the turn lane, I'd be rich. And if I had a penny for every driver who forgot about the turn lane altogether until the very last possible moment and came to near stopping before getting in the turn lane, I'd be a millionaire. PEOPLE: No one behind you should EVER have to slow down if there is a turn lane.

Roundabouts are just as bad. Friends, a roundabout is NOT a FOUR-WAY-STOP. The whole point of a roundabout is so that you DON'T have to stop at all! I mean, by all means, YIELD, but there should not have to be 6 or 7 cars lined up behind you to get into a roundabout because all the drivers on all sides of the roundabout are treating it as though it's a four way stop. Seriously, people? It's a good thing you do not live in New Jersey. I think your heads would explode at the thought of a jug handle. (For those who are reading this and don't know what I"m talking about- it's when you overshoot the left turn you want to take, and turn right onto a one way road which flips you around- as in, you drive in a half circle- nothing actually FLIPS you around- and then drive straight through a light onto said left turn instead of hanging an actual left....oh, did I hurt your poor head???)

Last but not least: Blinkers. Yeah, those blinky lights aren't meant to be pretty, they are meant to communicate your next line of action to people who are behind you or who are headed toward you on the opposite side of the road. If I am sitting at a stop sign, ready to turn, and you do not have your blinker on, I am going to assume that you are going to keep going straight, that it is your right-of-way and that I need to wait my turn (remember that lesson in preschool?). If I am sitting there, as you come down the road, waiting patiently like MY mommy taught me, and, instead of going straight, as your lack of a blinker is indicating, you turn down the street I'm on and go past me, well, then you've just wasted my precious time. (And yes, my time IS more valuable than yours. I'm a mom of 3. So eat that.)

I think it would be a good idea for all Utah drivers to study up on the rules of the road. I have.

Signed,

They Drive Better In Texas.