Feel Good Friday and Letters of Intent

I am happy.

I really mean that.

I have been through a lot of unhappiness in my lifetime, and there's no one to blame but myself. Throughout my marriage, we have been in and out of 'good' spots. There were times where we almost called it quits, when our ideas of marriage, love, and how a relationship should be were skewed so that we didn't recognise what we had, we only wanted what we THOUGHT we SHOULD have.

I am exhausted at all hours of the day. Having 2 hours of sleep or 10 hours of sleep leaves me with no difference in my spunk.

I have severe hormonal attitude with people who say rude and insensitive things to me about my children, my life, or my pregnancy. Apparently, I don't know the meaning of taking the high road. Because I always have to retort.

I have children who drive me insane every single day, though, really, if they were THAT bad, I wouldn't be having another one. So that must say a lot about exactly the way I feel about them.

I don't have everything. I worry about money. I want things I can't have. I can't always afford the lessons or things my children want. But I can honestly say I have never, in my entire life, been happier than I am now. I adore my husband, who is so infinitely wonderful at putting up with me, my hobbies (which are so many in number that I couldn't begin to list them right now- and it probably goes without saying that they actually add to the money problems we have. LOL.) who supports me constantly, who thinks that I get prettier every single day when the mirror obviously lets me know that I am simply growing older, fatter, grayer and wrinklier. Yes, I'm 28. I still think I'm old.

I think a lot of my happiness has to do with him. Family in general is wonderful. But I think, when I look at what my options were back in the day, if given the same beautiful, intelligent, hilarious, and otherwise precious children with all the same quirks and personalities they own today, having the same lifestyle I do now, in the same house, the same town, the same van, the same everything, while dealing with any of the men I had been seriously involved with, and their attitudes, their ideas about me and what I should have been or what I wasn't doing or was doing that bothered them, and imagining what my life might be like...well, I honestly think that I would not be anywhere NEAR as happy as I am.

In one case, I'm sure I'd be divorced. In the other case, I think I would have been repressed. That man had a tendency to be overzealous about women's rights. It's very funny, because his intention was to be supportive of our freedoms, but he really failed to see that part of our having freedoms is that we are still able to choose to be mothers, and to stay home with those children if we feel it is best for them, which I always did, and he always thought it was a bad example for any girl children. Repression. He was such a nonconformist that he became a conformist.

Yes, happiness really doesn't rely on anyone but ourselves. But it really does help when you have wonderful people around you. And I sure lucked out.

That's what's making me feel good today.

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To my very own resident Utah Driver (Brandon):

My minivan is not your tiny little sports car. Doing 3 point turn on the middle of busy main street while making cars stop behind you and wait for you to finish your 'u turn' is neither safe nor legal. I don't care how many right turns you have to take, or if you have to pull into a parking lot to turn around, you have my precious babies in that van and you'd better obey the laws.

Signed,

I'm not kidding. Maybe I'd better drive next time.

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I don't know how to be sensitive about this, so here it goes:

I'm severely sorry to those who have trouble getting pregnant. I really am. I hope that you are able to have your children soon, and I'm sure you'll be lovely, wonderful parents.

In the mean time, I'm not going to avoid you, pretend that my pregnancy isn't painful, stop my pregnancy updates that automatically post to my facebook each week, or laugh when you tell me to cross my legs, ask if I know what birth control is, or tell me that my vagina is not a clown car.

I'm sorry- but those posts aren't put there to rub salt on your wounds. They are put there because I have every right to talk about how I'm feeling, especially considering it's a public domain where it's a general statement, and whoever wants to read and reply can do so, and yes, I know that means you too. But I have near 600 other friends on facebook. You are only one person. If I posted it to YOUR WALL, then that would be rubbing it in. posting it on MY status isn't directed at anyone at all. Besides, I actually have family and other friends who genuinely DO want to know what's going on with me, how my pregnancy is going, and think it's cute to hear some of the things my children say in relation to their new baby brother.

For the record, telling me that I have too many children and that I should stop having them doesn't really make sense.

Babies are not grown in a small pool like a bunch of trout, and whoever has the best bait gets one. It's not a "not enough fish in the sea" kind of thing. If I have 10, it really doesn't diminish your chances of having one. Likewise, if I stop now, simply because you're upset that I'm pregnant and you feel that I should "spread the wealth", it isn't going to increase your chance of getting one either.

I have never been the kind of person to rub it in. I try to be sensitive. But in my opinion, sensitivity works two ways. And no one should make me feel bad about my family choices. I didn't get pregnant to spite you, no matter what you might think. When I tried for months to have another baby, you were not the one I was thinking of when I peed on stick after stick after stick.

My family choices have never, do not now and never will include you.

Signed

You're so vain, you probably think this post is about you.

Feel Good Friday and Letters of Intent

You know the drill friends! Click the button and hop on over to link up and tell us what's making you HAPPY!!!

1. Remember the wings I wrote about last week??? All of them are shipped off and delivered! And so far, everyone who has received them LOVES them, which makes me happy because I get pretty nervous about whether or not they will be exactly what they were picturing.

2. Our house is no longer a sick house. We have all stopped puking, and I have sanitized everything, and it is safe for you to come over now without catching our illness.

3. I am so excited because on Saturday, Brandon and I get to go to a Murder Mystery dinner that is hosted every year (3rd annual!!!) by our dear friends. It's going to be awesome!!

4. Pumpkin. I think I mentioned this last week. But I'm still happy about it.

Pumpkin muffins with cream cheese frosting and pecans...ooooooh.

Scarlet chewing on a big bite of my pumpkin butterscotch chip cookies. Ooooooh again.

5. UEA weekend. Brandon doesn't get any time off for this, but it's great. I mean, he gets school off, which means he's home in the morning, but he still has to go to work. But Lilly and Mahone both being out of school means that I didn't have to drive anywhere, nor did I make them read to me or do homework. We sat in our jammies all day, watched tv, ate cereal for 2 meals and were otherwise big fat slobs. It was fun. And we're doing it again tomorrow. Hey- don't judge me. I'm a very busy woman every other day of the week.

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Come on friends- you KNOW you have a letter to write to someone. Lets see it!

Dear Molly,

I love your stinkin' guts.

And when I say stinkin', I mean STINKIN'. You are THE smelliest dog ON.THE.PLANET.

Honestly, you've heard of that book Walter the Farting Dog? Well, he's got nothing on you.

Here I sit, blogging away, and you, like the loyal, good girl you are, are sleeping under my chair, just snoring away...and while the gas you pass is silent, it's seriously deadly.

Never in my life have I ever smelled anything quite so putrid as your broken wind.

All my dog owning friends have told me not to let you eat anything but dog food. But you are not allowed to beg, and you are not given table scraps.

They say not to give you too many treats. But your treats are only Milk Bones, and if you're lucky, you get 2 a day.

It must be the raw hides you eat constantly.

Unfortunately, it's either the raw hides or our shoes. So, if it makes you happy and keeps your puppies-chew-because-that's-what-they-do-ness at bay.....well, then, I guess I'm going to have to learn to deal with it....and maybe God will bless me with a head cold.

Lovingly,

Point your rear end THAT way.

P.S. Don't think I didn't notice the muddy footprints on my white upholstered chair. I know it was you. Hunter knows better. You're lucky it's from IKEA, and washable.

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Dear Utah Drivers,

(Yes, I felt that if I didn't include a letter to Utah drivers that I would be betraying you all somehow. LOL.)

Roundabouts are NOT the same thing as four way stops.

The End, Love Braeleigh.

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Dear Camy,

I love you. You are an inspiration. Thanks for kicking my butt into gear. You give me far too much credit.

Love you forever,

Braeleigh

Feel Good Friday, Letters Of Intent, and a new development.

This is the explanation of my Letters From Listeria, and is NOT my most current post on it, which happens every Thursday. Please feel free to grab my Letters From Listeria button at the left of the screen to share in the joy of pregnancy sarcasm, and then don't forget to click on my header to refresh my blog and get to the newest installment of Letters From Listeria.

First, The New Development:

Love Letters From Listeria

(Look for this on Thursdays)

Yes, this IS in fact a sick joke. Many women who read this may be appalled. Especially pregnant women who were told by their doctors or the all-knowing women they have met on their birth boards to stay away from anything that can possibly cause Listeria.

What is Listeria? The tag on my delightful little Giant Microbe states:

Facts: In 1867, English surgeon Joseph Lister published a scientific paper proposing that his fellow surgeons clean their hands and instruments before operating on patients. While overcoming scientific skepticism regarding novel ideas can sometimes be challenging, when post-surgical infection rates took a nosedive, Lister was vindicated.

In 1927, on tthe 100th anniversary of Lister's birth, scientist Harvey Pirie was looking for a name for a food-borne bacterium he had isolated from a dead gerbil found in South Africa. As Lister had also had an interest in the isolation and growing of microorganisms, Pirie chose to honor the bacteria, and Lister, with the name Listeria monocytogenes.

In addition to dead gerbils, Listeria can be found in raw meats and vegetables, unpasteurized dairy products, and processed meats like hot dogs and cold cuts.

While everyone is vulnerable to Listeria, the consequences are particularly dire for pregnant women and their unborn children: if Listeria spreads from mother to fetus, it is fatal to the baby 20 percent of the time. (For other with weakened immune systems, Listeria is fatal in one of every four cases.)

the best way to avoid the bacterium is to make like Lister and keep things clean. Cooks should wash their hands and cooking instruments carefully before operating. And at -risk individuals should monitor their diets for at-risk foods.

And after the meal, you might try a little oral hygiene: the mouthwash Listerine was named for D. Lister in 1879.

So, why in the world am I, a pregnant woman, joking about this?

Well, to be very honest, it's a long story that spans the last 4 months of my life, in and out of morning sickness, absolute exhaustion, violent bouts of dramatic eruption between those who claim to be "No Drama Mamas" and the "Drama Mamas" about cupcakes, pies and rainbow pissing unicorns on my own birth board. (You all know how I feel about birth boards. But I can't help it. It's a train wreck I can't avoid. Blood and guts everywhere. Very disturbing. And I can't break away.)

For the most part, it really just started out with so many of us being told that we, essentially, can't eat ANYTHING for fear of food borne diseases. No, I mean for real.

A list of things that we can't eat because it MIGHT contain listeria:

Lunch meat (gung ho mamas say it's okay if heated to steaming, but for reals, who wants to eat nice crunchy lettuce and tomatoes on a steaming heap of greasy turkey?)

Mayonnaise

Sunny Side Up Eggs

Raw Veggies- including salads

Hot dogs

Rare steaks

Soft Cheeses

Hummus

Soft Serve Ice Cream (which, since it is due to the possible lack of cleanliness in the machine also includes fountain drinks, Slurpee machines and other such situations.)

Okay, that's really a lot of things to have to avoid. On top of that, there's a new thread on the forum every single day about something that isn't safe- for example, today's bigge: Ice burg lettuce. really? I mean, maybe Ice burg lettuce doesn't have the kind of nutrients Romaine lettuce has, but aren't there worse things I could be stuffing my face with? Like Ramen noodles, or frozen prepared meals (two of the other things on the latest list along with the ice burg lettuce.)

And don't even get me started on the number of women who insist that any mother who drinks a can of caffinated soda is going to give birth to a child with an opposable tail, crossed eyes and bat teeth, or that having even one tunafish sandwich will give them Mercury poisoning and make them miscarry their baby. OH! Never forget the whole group of them that are honestly convinced that the ingredients in SKITTLES CANDY causes Autism. Yes. That logic is so perfectly sound. (Insert irritated eye roll here.)

The point is, the list is endless. We are constantly told that we are to eat double what our bodies are physically capable of holding at any given time because we are eating for two, and we need proper nutrients to grow our little parasites, while in the same sentence, we are given a list that eliminates anything that might be even remotely healthy or available for us to eat. Not only can we not eat a fresh salad, but we need to stay away from frozen foods, sugars and salts.

Looks like bread and water are the only things on the menu. (unless you have a problem with glucose, in which case, you may fill your belly with water only.)

And all it took was one thread full of pictures of pie, cookies and cupcakes for some smart alec to make the remark that we should be careful because cupcake batter will give us listeria (raw eggs) which turned into cupcakes giving us listeria, which turned into listeria being a hilarious, overused, under appreciated and severely denied possibility in our pregnancies.

Yes, I was involved. Yes, i think it's devastatingly hysterical. I won't deny it.

In fact, even Brandon is involved, and he isn't even ON the birth board- though he IS subject to having to listen to everything i find funny, debatable, stupid, uneducated, dimwitted, or far to serious to contemplate on my own.

The story is wonderful, actually. Brandon came across a website called http://www.giantmicrobes.com/ where you can buy cute little plush germs that look just like the real thing. (My favorite, by the way, is the chickenpox one.) So, being the wonderful, involved, supportive hubby he is, he ordered me a stuffed listeria germ, thus proving that he does, in fact, listen to what I ramble off in reference to my pregnancy and my birth board.

For the record, I am careful about my lunch meat and cannot resist a subway on occasion. But I don't eat it regularly. I don't eat soft cheeses, and hot dogs are only a problem if they're not cooked. But I'm not going to cook my salad. I mean, really. what are our options if everything healthy contains a possibility of listeria?

When it comes down to it, about 2500 people in the US catch listeria per year. Out of those cases, about 500 of them are pregnant women. Yes, that's 1/4, which is high in THAT scheme of things, but when you take into account the fact that, in the US, somewhere over FOUR MILLION babies are born PER YEAR, 500 cases of pregnant women having listeria is really LESS THAN MINUSCULE.

It's a scare tactic, and we're tired of it.

So, in honor of my delightful, spunky, and ridiculously entertaining friends on the Due In January 2011 Baby Center Birth Board, I give you

"Love Letters from Listeria", where our dear friend Lister the plush Listeriosis will write us letters about all the delicious things he is infiltrating.

Enjoy friends!!!!

FEEL GOOD FRIDAY

1. Today, I'm feeling good. And that's that. I mean, after 4 months of morning sickness and severe exhaustion, that's saying something.

2. My daughter (scarlet...did you need to ask?) swallowed a penny yesterday...and didn't choke on it and die, by the grace of God. (Yet another patch of gray hair)

3. My cute puppy, Molly, our new little black lab, is doing SO WELL! When we got her, a lot of people warned me that she'd be a hyper, naughty, chewing thing for 2 years...and THEN she'd be the best dog we'd ever have. But she's not all that hyper, and she has an excellent grip on which toys are hers and which toys are the kids. I also think Hunter is a mellowing influence on her. Apparently, even with dogs, peer influence is priceless.

4. I can feel the baby move. It's my little rock star.

5. I have fallen in love with The Office. I love Jim and Pam. I love Phyllis. Michael makes me want to throw up with every racist, bigoted, sexist comment he makes. At first, it horrified me. And now, I can't miss it. Yes, I know they're reruns, and not in any particular order. But I love it nonetheless.

Foursons src="http://i115.photobucket.com/albums/n308/juliechinni/letterbutton3-1.jpg">

Dear Health Guy On TV.

I did not watch much of your show, but I simply HAVE to address the part I did see.

You stated that studies show that children who are given any kind of sugar every day demonstrate more violent tendencies when they become older.

Forgive me when I call your bluff on this one. I really would like to know where you got your "study" from. Really, in order to find any kind of outcome for the idea that children who eat sugar may or may not be violent as adults, one would require a fairly detailed and extensive study on a vast group of continuous and permanent subjects. Somehow I doubt that this happened, and if it did, I'd love to know exactly where you found the 5 children in the WORLD who have never had sugar and were able to study them in a valid, controlled way in comparison to other children who DID eat sugar on any given basis. And that's the real reason I don't think this statement is valid in any way. How could there possibly be a valid study about this?

I'm all for healthy eating. And no, I'm not perfect. But my kids get their fruits and veggies and while they do get candy, they don't gorge themselves, and are very healthy. They're not violent either. But then, I feel that that has more to do with environment and parenting than it does with sugar. (Not that I'm denying sugar's involvement with behavior AT ALL, just not to the extent you imply.)

Anyway, maybe I'm sensitive, though, why this would really matter, I don't know. It's just really irritating to hear scare tactics that make no sense at all.

Signed,Skeptical.

Feel Good Friday, Letters Of Intent, and Dear So-and-so.

I know! I've been gone and haven't participated and my sitemeter has gone down from several hundred visits on average per day to around 30 per day- so whatever brilliant blogger told me that it was okay to take time off if you needed it, and that your followers would be waiting and watching patiently for your return didn't know what she was talking about. I've only been skipping a single post here and there for 2 weeks and MAN, my blog is suffering.

**Side note- for those who are thinking of becoming an ex follower, please don't. I've lost ever so many lately, due to heaven knows what- I sincerely hope that I didn't offend anyone- but I don't think you understand the major hit my self esteem takes when I see that my followers have dwindled. So keep following...or I'll hunt you down. ~Tries for a very very serious look~

Feel Good Friday-

Well, as many of you know, I helped out with a booth at a ren faire last Saturday (please see my wordless Wednesday for pics of my son in his kilt! So epically cute!) Of course, with the extremely depressing weather, I did awful, and didn't make any money at all!

However, I'm very excited because I have friends who have made appointments for me to take pictures of their lovely little girls as fairies for 30 bucks a sitting. (If you're in Utah and you're interested, send me a message!) This is very good news for me! It gives me both a little extra money as well as new models. I'm so excited about this, and I know that while many will read this and think it's soooo out of the ordinary 'Feel Good Friday" realm, it's just one of the things that has me happy lately.

Speaking of fairies, I want to share with you my latest capture- a little flower fairy- (flower fairies are a branch of the Dryad family and are bound in life and spirit to their flowers- more on this subject for Saturday at http://www.thegossamerjewelbox.blogspot.com/ ) This one happens to be an apple blossom fairy. Can you spot her?

Also, Miss Scarlet Serafina Estelle has potty trained her own little butt. And I had nothing to do with it. I mean, besides putting her on the potty when she said "Haffa go baffoom!" YAY for independent kids and no more diapers! That being said, there is still the occasional wet mess. But it's only occasional. And she's doing so well! When she has gone an entire 2 weeks without a single accident, she gets to have her ears pierced. She changes her mind every day about the color of earrings she wants, but hey, she's into it.

Dear Readers-

Beware- some of this is TMI. If you're tired of reading my letters to my body about how it's failing me by failing to conceive, then maybe you'd better move on. But I'd prefer you stay and savor all the disgusting, dirty details with me. So fun, isn't it? To talk about our grown, hormonal bodies as though they were something perfectly blase, like the weather, or a Friday, or cheese? How lovely to be able to discuss the texture, color, and amount of cervical mucus we have, because, after all, it's something all women have in common...right?

~Sincerely, Not for the Faint of Heart.

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Dear Head-

I am tired of feeling dizzy. I am tired of the almost- black outs, even after having eaten a good breakfast. The only other time this has ever happened to me was when I was anemic during pregnancy. Let that be a warning to you that this had better be what it is. Yes, I'm taking vitamins...but they're kids gummy vitamins as prenatals make me sick. So I'll start taking iron, you help me out by being a positive sign. Kay? Kay.

~Signed, Dizzy.

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Dear Neck-

It would be so spectacularly awesome if you would stop hurting today. I KNOW we had a really terrible time sleeping last night and that we were cold and then hot and then cold and hot again, and that Scarlet cried 'cause she had to pee, and we had to wake Brandon and kick him out of bed when Mahone had to pee- but considering the fact that we're already exhausted, Head isn't helping, and we still have the rest of the day to face, don't you think you could cut me some slack today?

Thanks- Needs a Massage

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Dear Boobs-

Yeah- you overgrown lumps of fat, you. You're still sore. Still. usually, by this point in my cycle, the tenderness is usually long gone by now. I mean, it's not like you're unbearable- just noticeable. Noticeable enough to make me depressingly optimistic. Don't disappoint this time.

~Cross My Heart

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Dear Sciatic Nerve in my lower back-

Okay, well, I might really be over thinking this because it's never ever taken me this long to get pregnant and back in the day, when I used to get knocked up really easily, I wasn't aware that there really were other symptoms aside from morning sickness, which never kicks in for me until around week 6 or 7 or even 8.

Oh, ignorance really is bliss. Anyway, the girls over at BBC are telling me that lower back pain is a possible early sign of pregnancy. Well, I dearly hope so, because, just like later in my pregnancies when sciatica kicks in, I kind of feel like sticking a fork in there, and, much like Chef Louis does to the fish he is cooking on "The Little Mermaid", I want to put so much pressure on the fork that it bends and then spontaneously flings the nerve out into nowhere whilst straightening like some sort of trebuchet. (See video below at about :35 seconds)

Yes, my friend Sciatica. Cool it. Or you'll be dinner. (or, even if you don't, I'll settle for positive energy toward my baby making machine.)

Much love- the Chef

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Dear Baby Making Machine: (AkA Uterus)

I cannot believe you are making me write to you AGAIN. Really? What is it, exactly, that you are not understanding. I'm impatient. I'm terrible at waiting. I want a baby and I want one now. So shape it up. The doc says you're perfect and look rather like you've never even housed a child, which, BTW, he said is a GOOD thing. It means you're young and fertile. So show me some fertility!!!

Love- I suppose saying "don't make me come in there" has lost it's flavor by now? How about this: You're about to get Pink Slipped.

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Dear Ovaries:

I know you ovulated. Good job. At least someone around here is pulling their weight. I mean 2 days of pain is a small price to pay to know that there's a blessed spherical object soon to float down my fallopian tubes. 5 days of positive ovulation tests and a weeks worth of egg white cervical mucus confirmed my suspicions.

Keep up the good work.

Sincerely- I feel like a boss right now.

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Dear Egg:

IMPLANT IMPLANT IMPLANT!!!!!

Signed- Sunny side up, Please- No more Scrambled.

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Dear Brandon's Boys-

Swim straight and take your first left. Not that hard.

Signed: It's not me, it's you.

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Dear Body as a collective single entity:

WE (Brandon and I) did it right. Did YOU?

Feel Good Friday and Letters of Intent.

Feel Good Friday

(Hosted by http://www.thegirlnextdoorgrowsup.com/ )

Five Things That Are Making Me Feel Good

1. I am finally starting to get my strength back after having been sick for near 3 days. THAT is for REAL a feel-good thing.

2. My kids make me laugh every. single. day.

3. After 2 years in my 'new' house, I have finally made a friend who 1. Doesn't judge me. 2. Laughs at my jokes (read: sarcasm) 3. Seems to want more than just superficial conversation. HOORAY!!!

3. (May be a little TMI, but what the hay, it's my blog.) I went to the doctor yesterday morning because I am worried about it taking us so long to get pregnant, and my doctor seemed puzzled about it too. My exam showed that I am in perfect health- uterus, cervix and ovaries all in perfect condition, I am on my period NOW and there are no cysts, which means I'm ovulating. Sounds good! Doc told me to relax!!! He also said that's easier said than done. He knows. But that's the only advice he could give me. I'm just happy I'm healthy and that there's nothing wrong.

5. I LOVE the doctor and nurse I've been seeing. I have had 3 children, countless doctors (they were all born in different states) and even more nurses. I LOVED my doctor with my last baby, but this one is just as wonderful, and this nurse has done more to put my weary heart at ease than any other nurse I've ever met.

5. It's 70 degrees outside today. That is awesome, because my kids get to wear their cute new summer clothes, and I don't have to bother with jackets and sweaters and coats. Or shoes. They're all wearing slip ons. WONDERFUL!

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AND

Dear Uterus-

I think it's time we had another discussion....

-Don't make me come BACK in there.

MY NEW MEME, Feel Good Friday, and Letters of Intent

(For Feel Good Friday and Letters of Intent, please scroll down. Before I get to that, I'm going to announce my new MEME!!!!!!!)

My new Meme!

I'm very excited to announce "Brag & Blab Mondays"

I have, for a long time, wanted to host my own meme, complete with a Mr. Linky and everything. And I have wracked my brain trying to think of a topic that everyone can relate to, that everyone can do, and something that they would want to do.

Okay, so if you know me at all, you know that I'm a total attention diva. I hog the spotlight. Or try to.

If you know me at all, you know that I am also a huge bawl bag. I complain about everything. I know. Negativity is soooo not becoming. Technically, bragging and gossiping are never in style...but here, on I am NOT a VOLCANO, Mondays showcase an awesome fashion show for the proud and sharp tongued!!!!

Yes, I know. I'm ahead of myself. It's Friday. Not Monday- but I'm bringing it up now to let you get a head start.

First things first: GRAB THIS BUTTON FOR YOUR POST!!! (also available on my left sidebar)



<a border="0" href="http://www.becauseidontscrapbook.blogspot.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://i1023.photobucket.com/albums/af351/NotAVolcano/Vintage_Microphone2change.jpg" /></a>

Step two: BRAG!!!

Okay, I need to clarify. This isn't your regular "I'm happy because...." post. This isn't your run of the mill "My kids are so cute because...." post.

No, no, no, this is a blatant "I'm BETTER THAN YOU BECAUSE...." post. You can brag about something you did, how you look, what your child did, how your hubby is so awesome, etc. It doesn't matter. But it HAS to be actual BRAGGING.

Step three: BLAB!!!

Spill it, sister! Give us the dirt, the dish, the scoop, KISS AND TELL! I wanna hear your complaints, your gossip, who did what, and why your mom or mother in law is so awful!!!

(I know. Satan is clearing out a room for me in Hell.)

Now, I know a lot of us have family members or friends who read our blogs and you don't want to dish the dirt on them here. That's fine! I'll settle for a pity party about how your weekend sucked or you wish you had more money, or you hate the color of your car. Fine with me!!!

I hope you all participate! I PROMISE to leave comments for everyone who links up! Hopefully, you all find this fun enough to come and play!

Feel Good Friday!!!!

Five things that are making me happy:

1. Tomorrow, I get to go take Amazon Warrior Princess pictures with two of my very very good friends! If you know anything about me at all, you know how excellently superb this is to me. I LOVE dressing up, putting on war paint, and taking pictures. It's awesome.

2. I am not kidding. I am physically FIGHTING the urge to pee on a stick (pregnancy test)- I can't possibly get a positive until like Monday or something, but I am really feeling like this is THE month!!

3. FINALLY, I think we've made some headway with the military and the ability to get our children's complete shot records. HOORAY!

4. Conference is coming up this weekend. For those of you who are not LDS, Conference happens in April and October. It is so wonderful- when our Prophet and the apostles, and other important people at the head of our church speak at the Conference Center in Salt Lake City, and it's broadcast all over the whole world. I always love conference, and I look forward to it immensely. If you'd like more information, check it out further, or watch it this Sunday (10.00-12.00 for the morning session and 2:00-4:00 for the afternoon session.) go to http://www.mormon.org/

5. Easter Sunday is on Conference Sunday this year! That's so awesome because it means my kids can do Easter egg hunts and eat their candy at home instead of whine through church because they want to go home and eat their Easter candy.

Dear Utah Drivers,

Please, PLEASE, for the love of all that is holy, figure out how to use such things as left turn lanes, roundabouts and blinkers.

See, whoever it was that invented traffic laws, well, let's just say that they were smarter than you are.

A turn lane, for example, makes it possible for you to turn left without having to slow down in the middle of the street and slow down the traffic behind you. If I had a nickle for every driver who slowed down before getting into the turn lane, I'd be rich. And if I had a penny for every driver who forgot about the turn lane altogether until the very last possible moment and came to near stopping before getting in the turn lane, I'd be a millionaire. PEOPLE: No one behind you should EVER have to slow down if there is a turn lane.

Roundabouts are just as bad. Friends, a roundabout is NOT a FOUR-WAY-STOP. The whole point of a roundabout is so that you DON'T have to stop at all! I mean, by all means, YIELD, but there should not have to be 6 or 7 cars lined up behind you to get into a roundabout because all the drivers on all sides of the roundabout are treating it as though it's a four way stop. Seriously, people? It's a good thing you do not live in New Jersey. I think your heads would explode at the thought of a jug handle. (For those who are reading this and don't know what I"m talking about- it's when you overshoot the left turn you want to take, and turn right onto a one way road which flips you around- as in, you drive in a half circle- nothing actually FLIPS you around- and then drive straight through a light onto said left turn instead of hanging an actual left....oh, did I hurt your poor head???)

Last but not least: Blinkers. Yeah, those blinky lights aren't meant to be pretty, they are meant to communicate your next line of action to people who are behind you or who are headed toward you on the opposite side of the road. If I am sitting at a stop sign, ready to turn, and you do not have your blinker on, I am going to assume that you are going to keep going straight, that it is your right-of-way and that I need to wait my turn (remember that lesson in preschool?). If I am sitting there, as you come down the road, waiting patiently like MY mommy taught me, and, instead of going straight, as your lack of a blinker is indicating, you turn down the street I'm on and go past me, well, then you've just wasted my precious time. (And yes, my time IS more valuable than yours. I'm a mom of 3. So eat that.)

I think it would be a good idea for all Utah drivers to study up on the rules of the road. I have.

Signed,

They Drive Better In Texas.

Feel good friday

One more time, I want to ask all my wonderful, loyal readers to please check out http://www.spoonsforscarlet.etsy.com/ and to grab my Spoons For Scarlet button so that we can spread the word and raise money for Scarlet's tree for the Festival of Trees, which brings in THOUSANDS of doallars, 100% of which proceeds go directly to Primary Children's Hospital in order to support, protect, and create more miraculous success stories, like Scarlets! Thank you!

Things that are making me feel good today:

1. Tomorrow is a weekend, and Brandon actually has it off.

2. Chocolate. Specifically Cadburry Creme Eggs.

3. Tax return came...and went. Straight to the credit cards.

4. The Princess and the Frog is out on DVD now- we're renting it for our weekly 'special night' tonight!!!

5. I'm still reveling in the leftover memories and movies of the St. Patricks day festivities. Namely, kilts.

Sorry. No letters today. My life has been sucky lately. I'm a little discouraged. I'll be okay. But for now, this is all I've got.

Feel Good Friday and Letters of intent

http://www.thegirlnextdoorgrowsup.com/

(And if you're here for my letters of intent or Dear So and so, just scroll down. You'll reach it eventually!)

So welcome to Feel Good Friday- where I have the opportunity to talk about some of the things that are making me feel good. Usually, I use the first prompt and make a list of 5 things that I'm happy about. But today, I'm going to do a different prompt and write about something that I love dearly and that always makes me happy.

Ever since I was young, I have collected charms. My mother collects charms too, and has many many bracelets, some of which are not her own, but were purchased at antique stores. I have also started charm bracelets for my daughters, and a pin collection for my son, as charms are kind of feminine.

My charms are nearly all from my life experiences, if they were gifts, trips, or just purchased. They almost all have something to do with me. I have over 70 of them, and have had at the very least 15 fall off and be lost forever. When I was about 10, I wore a bracelet somewhere, and lost that one too. It had over 20 charms on it. I still mourn it's loss. Two of the charms were one-of-a-kind.

As I have so many, I won't talk about all of them, though every single one DOES have a story. But I'll show you a good many that mean something to me.

(These are in no particular order, as I don't really keep them in order on my bracelet. It's just wherever there happens to be room.)

This SUN was given to me by my husband on the day I gave birth to our SON, Mahone.

My mom and dad gave me this charm as a gift after I was in a musical at my high school. The pacifier represents Lilly's birth.


In high school, I was on an Irish Step Dance performing team. The gillies are correct (middle) they're the Irish soft shoe, but the dancer is actually a Scottish Highland dancer- I didn't do that. Still, she's pretty and unique. I bought the shoes after a performance at a Scottish festival, and my mom gave me the dancer. The goblet was also given to me by my mom because I went to ren faires a lot, and she thought it suited.

The little diamond girl represents my youngest (at the moment) daughter Scarlet. The knight in shining armor-well, I was a real romantic back in the day. He was handsom at the mall kiosk...so I bought him. The guy in the middle is actually an LDS missionary. My mom (she bought me a lot of these, you will see.) sent him to me in college, because most of my friends in high school were boys who, instead of going straight to college went on LDS missions. At one point, I was writing to 12 of them. So, he represents them all.

Obviously, from my parents on Graduation day. And the key is an antique charm I bought at a flea market because I also collect keys. 12 of the charms on this bracelet are keys of some sort.

My husband bought me the moon when we were dating, and I bought the cards when we were in vegas, after we were married just before we found out we were expecting Lilly. My first real boyfriend bought me the dice because we used to play Dungeons and Dragons (okay...I still DO play. But not with him anymore.) Though they would be more appropriate if they were 20 sided.

This may be one of my favorites. When I was pregnant with Scarlet, we lived in Alabama. For Christmas, we took our kids, Lilly- then 2 and Mahone, then 17 months to Disneyworld and met my parents and my brothers and sister there. I bought this CInderella's castle there. Isn't it breathtaking? It was expensive too. Platinum. My WHOLE souvenier allowance. LOL.

Yes- from my parents when I turned 16. In Utah. LOL .

ANother of my favorites. This charm was purchased in Disneyland when I was pregnant with Lilly. Brandon had gone off to Boot Camp for the Air Force in Texas and my mom had whisked me away with our family and some good family friends to Disneyland.

The Statue of Liberty. I bought her at the store on Liberty Island where the statue stands. Brandon's first station was at McGuire AFB in New Jersey and my Sister In Law came to see us for her birthday. We took her to New York. I was pregnant with Mahone.

Camera, phone...both from my mom.

The bell was a gift for Christmas one year, and the palm trees were purchased in Jamaica on my honeymoon. Yes, the little sign says "calif." but our plane was leaving and I didn't really think about it until after the fact. Oh well. It's a story to tell. The little boat under the bell is a charm Brandon bought me from Maryland when he was on a TDY (temporary duty) there.

Brandon bought me the dog, because I wanted a dog, but our first apartment didn't allow pets. I bought the armadillo in texas when I went to see him graduate from Boot Camp while still pregnant with Lilly.

I got to visit Texas again when we drove back to Utah after I had Scarlet from our second Station in Alabama. We stopped to visit our best friends and I bought this there.

COmputer, heart, cowgirl...I think the boot is actually Lilly's...it's also from Texas.

Dear My Uterus,
I see you have received my last letter with grace. And gracefully, I am here to encourage your journey over the next 9 months. I imagine you pink and plush inside, full and fertile like a mother should be. Cradle my precious baby, please, until i can cradle the little thing his/herself.

Sincerely,
Dearly Thankful

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Dear Baby,
You must always know that you are very severely wanted. Not just by me, your mother, your grail, but a numberless slew of people who envision you in their mind's eye already. Your oldest sister will be your biggest fan, as she is already practicing changing diapers on your other older sister. Your brother will be your protector. He is our Superman, and he hopes that you will be a boy so that he will have a Batman to run around with. And our Scarlet- well, she will have well meaning intentions, but I will have to protect you from her curious fingers and teeth, and keep you out of the way of her chronically tripping feet.
Hang on sweet baby. Cling to me, and stay with me. I want you. Always.
Affectionately,Your mommy.

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And for some comic relief before my over active emotions get the best of me and I short out my little laptop with the weight of my many exaggerated tears....

Dear Vacuum,
I hate you.
You advertised yourself as a vacuum meant specifically for shedding pets. "Up to 3 animals!" the box shouted, letters inflamed in in a spiky cloud as though it were a comic book. You boasted pictures of two long haired cats, and an English Sheep Dog.
So, why is it that, from the first day I vacuumed, I have had to unclog the tube every single time I vacuum a room? Not every time I vacuum my HOUSE, but every time I vacuum a ROOM? And I'm not talking things like wads of toilet paper, or marbles, or a pair of underwear (Which my last vacuum survived) or one of Brandon's ties (which is what ultimately ruined our last vacuum and made us purchase you.) I'm talking dog hair.
Now let me tell you a little about us. I am a little bit obsessive. I'm not obsessive COMPULSIVE. My house isn't spotless or sterile, but I am a little bit of a freak about it being clean. Particularly the carpets because I have 3 (4) small children who play on said carpets. I also have a 2 year old who, apparently, has not outgrown the oral stage. she puts everything in her mouth. So, needless to say, I vacuum most of my house almost every day.
We also have a dog. ONE dog. He is a Brittany Spaniel, and he sheds. His hair is medium length and his shedding is very minimal.
So, comparing our lifestyle: I vacuum every day, and we only have ONE dog (which implies very little hair when it's cleaned up every day)
to your advertisement: "For up to 3 animals!" surrounded by two cats and a dog (which implies a HECK of a lot of hair, especially if you're like most of the world and you vacuum once, twice, maybe 3 times a week as opposed to every day.) well, it kind of gives me the feeling that you are a lying sack of goat cheese.
Well, I take that back. You don't have a sack. You're one of those awesome kinds with the little clear tube that unlocks and you just dump it into the garbage.
Oh right! I don't do that...because it's rare that anything makes it there, due to your inability to suck dog hair all the way through your blessedly transparent tube ('cause at least I can SEE where the clog is), or any of the three places that tubes connect to filters, 'bag', or the spinney brush thingy underneath the vacuum where it sucks stuff up.

The company said on the phone that I either have too many pets, my dog has too much hair, or I should vacuum more often. ~Wry look~

So, please, because I mean this in the nicest possible way, don't be offended when i say: You don't suck.
May I suggest a disclaimer: "Works best with hairless animals and those that don't shed!"

Cordially,.......I have no clever alias, I'm so ticked.

Feel Good Friday
(Link up. You know you want to.)

UGH! I have kind of been dreading this post all week long. Because I don't feel good. No one in my house has felt good for quite some time now. Nothing 'happy' has happened to us, and frankly, I'm really getting bored of crap, financial surprises (the bad kind), cars breaking down, children entering the terrible twos, sicknesses (2 kids with croup, 1 kid with an ear infection, 1 kid with strep throat, 1 kid with the stomach flu, and me with cramps.), and other maladies that I just don't care to list because I'm bored, lazy and cynical.

So here's my half-assed (OMG, did you just read my SWEAR word? Well, that's about how I feel right now.) attempt at finding some good in this dreary gray world.

1. It's Friday. That means we get to have our 'special night' where we eat a special treat, and watch a new movie as a family. SO FUN!

2. Our pretend money for doing chores and store full of toys and treats thing seems to be working.

3. Finally got our taxes done. (Not getting back as much as I hoped, but at least we don't owe.)

4.I might get to go to a Casual Blogger's Conference in May!

5. I bought 3 pregnancy tests for only 4 dollars. (Lets hope they work this time.)

Dear My Uterus,

Let us start out by saying 'GOOD JOB'. You have housed, nurtured and birthed three beautiful, perfect, healthy and naked, wriggling little creatures without a single hitch. No problems. No pressure. Just smooth sailing. You are feminine, you are strong, and you have everything going for you.

So what's the deal? I mean, it's not like you're old or anything. You're only 27. It's not like you're a vast, dried up and shriveled old cavern full of cobwebs hanging from every corner. You're young! You're vital! You're in great shape, and the doc says that everything is normal and good! So what's wrong with you?

Buck up, honey. I need a baby, and I need one soon! (I already bought summer clothes back in December, when I'd already been trying for three months and just KNEW I'd be pregnant in the sweltering heat of a Utah summer.)

C'mon. We're old friends, right? Attached at the hip? Where I go, you go? So be a pal. Let go of your hostility over that old birth control and just bring back that lovin' feeling.

Thanks, much!
Signed

Don't Make Me Come In There.

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