Manic Motherhood at it's FINEST!!

Why "I am NOT a VOLCANO!"

Why "I am NOT a VOLCANO!"
click the volcano for the due explanation
"In all of living, have much fun and laughter. Life is to be enjoyed, not just endured." — Gordon B. Hinckley
Exaggeration is the spice of life

Book I am Currently Reading: Peter and The Shadow Thief

Sunday, January 31, 2010

Vote for March's book!!!

The poll is now closed for February's book, and it's tied between The Princess Bride, and The Moorchild. As the almighty of this blog, I am making an executive decision, and we will be reading The Moorchild. (Mostly because I haven't read it in about 6 years, and I read The Princess Bride last summer.)

Don't worry- you'll LOVE it! So, go on out to your library, grab The Moorchild by Eloise McGraw, and snuggle up with your kids. This is one to read out loud!!!
Books up for the vote:

(A Drama)

The Four Feathers by A.E.W. Mason

Considered a coward by his fiancée and comrades in arms, a British army officer has to redeem himself.


Til We Have Faces by C.S. Lewis

a retelling of the Greek myth of Cupid and Psyche, which had haunted Lewis all his life, and which is itself based on a chapter of The Golden Ass of Apuleius. The first part of the book is written from the perspective of Psyche's older sister Orual, and is constructed as a long-withheld accusation against the gods. Although the book is set in the fictional kingdom of Glome, Greece is often invoked to give the story a setting in time, as well as to allow for an interplay between the Hellenistic, rationalistic world-view and the powerful, 'irrational', and 'primitive' one.


Persuasion by Jane Austin

Jane Austen's last completed novel. She began it soon after she had finished Emma, completing it in August, 1816. She died, aged 41, in 1817, but Persuasion was not published until 1818.

(Children's Literature)

The Witch of Blackbird Pond by Elizabeth George Speare

a children's historical novel by American author Elizabeth George Speare, published in 1958. The story takes place in mid-17th century to early-18th century New England. It won the Newbery Medal in 1959. (I loved this when I was in 3rd grade..but I haven't read it since. I'd love to read it again.)

The Book Thief.

Narrated by Death, Markus Zusak's groundbreaking new novel is the story of Liesel Meminger a young foster girl living outside of Munich in Nazi Germany. Liesel scratches out a meager existence for herself by stealing when she discovers something she can't resist- books. Soon she is steal ling books from Nazi book-burnings, the mayor's wife's library, wherever they are to be found.

With the help of her accordion-playing foster father, Liesel learns to read and shares her stolen books with her neighbors during bombing raids, as well as with the Jewish man hidden in her basement.

First of all, I have to thank my sister in law for giving me this book. It was for Christmas, and she made sure I knew that it is her very favorite, and she hoped that I would share it with many people and that it's cover would be cracked on many occasions.

What better occasion do I have to share it with many people than discussing it in a book club?

Well, I was pleasantly engulfed in this book, and I simply couldn't put it down, despite my children and their need of me every second of every day.

First of all, I was surprised at Death's narration, and at first, I was a little unnerved. However, I soon discovered that Death was kind. Especially given the circumstances of the book (World War II set in Nazi Germany) He talks about how he scoops up humans and cradles them in his arms, and he sees their colors in the sky, and the good or bad of the souls. We know from the very beginning that Death can not seem to avoid Liesel Meminger. Each time he encounters her, he lingers just a little too long, and she enchants him. We know from the start that she is a Sole Survivor, and that everyone she knows dies.

First, there is her brother. Then Rudy, her would-be boyfriend. Last, her foster father and mother, Hans and Rosa Hubermann.

To be honest, when i read this book, I wasn't planning a book club. I wasn't planning questions to ask and I wasn't looking at metaphors. More than anything- more than writing a summery or answering questions, I really just want to talk about what I loved, and about my feelings about the book. (I PROMISE that I will be more organized for the next book, and that I will have more of a traditional book club format for this, but this time, I wasn't really prepared.)

What I did notice throughout the book was how human things were. I was awed and inspired by the accuracy of the children portrayed in this novel. I loved the relationships Liesel had, with her foster mother, her best friend Rudy, the mayors wife, the Jewish man hidden in her basement, and most of all, her foster father, Hans Hubermann.

Liesel- The main character. Through her eyes, we see the pain and desolation of Nazi Germany, but we also see hope, the small slivers of happiness and human drive to survive. All the relationships are hers, and we can see how her soul is strengthened and blessed, and sometimes weighed down by those she loves. Liesel has a kind spirit, despite her criminal impulse to steal books (among other things, like produce from local farms) When the bombs come, Liesel uses her most prized possessions (her books) to calm the terrified hearts of her friends and neighbors in the basement shelter. Liesel steals books because, to her, it's like 'taking something back', like, being able to have something that belonged to her in right.

Rudy- Probably my very favorite character. Rudy is Liesel's first friend on Himmel Street. He is her best friend, her cohort, her protector, and her would-be boyfriend, though Liesel never kisses him until he is dead. Rudy is always fighting for the underdog. He, also, has a tender soul and cannot stand to see unfairness in the works. On many occasions, he stands up for Liesel, and in his Hitler Youth classes, he takes a lot of heat for fighting against the youth leader, who continually abuses one of the boys in the group, who cannot hear well because of constant ear infections. Rudy also had a competitive streak. Upon winning 3 of 4 races in a Hitler Youth Field day, men come to take him to a camp to learn to become a soldier. His parents turn them down, and as a result, his father, a tailor, is sent away to assist the Nazi soldiers on the front lines by mending their uniforms. Rudy's father later blames himself for Rudy's death, because if he had just let him go be a soldier, he wouldn't have been on Himmel Street when it was bombed, and he might not have died.

Rosa Hubermann- Rosa is Liesel's foster mother, "mama" and on all occasions calls her 'dirty pig', and makes her collect and deliver the laundry from the more wealthy people of the town, which she does for a little money on the side. Rosa is a harsh woman, but she loves Leisel dearly in her own way, and we soon learn that she calls everyone "dirty pig"- especially those she loves, which includes her husband.

Hans Hubermann- I cannot help but feel that this story was as much his as it was Liesel's. I believe he was the kindest man in the story, and that his soul was good and clean. When Liesel first arrives at their home, having left her 6 year old brother in a grave along the way, it is Hans "papa" who calms her and helps her feel comfort. He holds her each night, when she wakes with her nightmares, and he teaches Liesel how to read through patience and long nights in their shallow basement. Hans is complicated. (Death does not address his complexity in order, but i will for the sake of organization.)

Hans fought in World War I with a Jewish man who taught him how to play his accordion. He became a best friend to Hans, and once, his friend made it possible for him to stay behind in the camp from the fight to write letters for their superior. His friend died in his place, along with the entire division, when they were bombed. Upon delivering his friend's accordion to his young wife, he meets her then 4-year old son named Max, and he tells the woman that if she should ever need help, that she can always count on him.

Liesel's father has 2 children. One is a girl, and is pretty much inconsequential to the book. But his son is a full blown Nazi, and early on in the book, he walks out of the house, never to return because Hans has not yet been accepted into the Nazi party because of "mistakes" he makes when he paints over slurs on the door of a Jewish friend's door.

Not long after Liesel arrives at the Hubermann's home, a Jewish man arrives at the doorstep and begins hiding in their basement. He is the now 24 year old son of Han's war friend, hiding from the Nazis. Liesel soon becomes good friends with Max, and they share many touching moments as they compare nightmares, and Max writes books for her on painted pages of Hitler's book "Mien Kampf"

Han's true compassion is revealed in completion when Nazis march ankle-chained Jews through Himmel Street, and an elderly man continually stumbles and falls to the ground. Hanz, unable to stand the sight of it, takes a part of a loaf of bread and helps the man up, giving him the bread to eat. He and the old man are whipped, and a few Nazi supporters on Himmel Street spit on his door, and and call him racial slurs. That night, Max has to leave for fear that the Nazis will come looking because of what Hans did. They don't come, but Hans is 'accepted' into the Nazi party, and sent on a suicide mission (cleaning up during and after air raids) for the war.

When Hans dies in his sleep during an unannounced bombing raid, (along with everyone else on Himmel Street except for Liesel) Death says that his soul was sitting up, and that good souls like his always sit up. They have lived full, good lives. Liesel's soul does the same.

Max- Max is a Jew. And he is hiding. He has a special (not romantic- more of an older brother type) relationship with Liesel. They are confidants, and friends. Max has a lot of guilt about being the one to survive when his mother and aunts and uncles, including his infantile cousins, were not spared.

Later on, after Max is gone, Liesel and Rudy take bread crumbs and hide in the trees outside of Himmel Street while the Nazis march the Jews through the town. They throw them out onto the street and the Jews are able to scoop them up as they walk. They get caught, and Leisel gets kicked, but they escape.

After Max is gone, whenever the Jews are marched through the streets, Liesel walks along side them, searching their faces for Max until she is shoved back to the edge of the road. Once, she does find him, and they both cry and hold each other, touching faces and holding hands until the Nazis whip her and Rudy has to drag her home.

Throughout the book, we meet many neighbors, both truly Nazi, and those who are just scared. There are is an old woman who has one son who dies at war, and another who kills himself because he feels guilty for wanting to live when he knows he should want to die because of what he has seen.

We meet Ilsa Hermann, the Mayor's wife, who lets Leisel read in her library every week when she picks up the laundry until she disappoints her because they can no longer pay for their laundry to be done, and Liesel starts stealing her books through the large window that Ilsa leaves open at all times. She does this so that her house will always remain cold because she had a son who froze to death in his youth. It's her way of punishing herself.

We meet other children, both kind and mean spirited.

I think that the thing that got to me the most about this book is the misery. When we hear about the Holocaust, we always hear about the Jews, and the showers, and the camps and the nakedness, the suffering, and the terror.

I remember once, there was an authentic Holocaust photography exhibit that came to my college campus and was up for about 3 months. I was like a moth to a flame, and went every day. It felt like hallowed ground, like treading softly would somehow show them the respect they died without.

The point is, the Holocaust was awful, and shocking, especially for the Jewish people. But what is almost always overlooked is that it was awful and shocking for everyone. Even the blonde haired, blue eyed Hitler Youth, and the Nazi Party, and the Christians. Everyone was terrified. Everyone was hungry and cold while they waited on heat, light, and food rations. Everyone was hiding from something. The Germans were scared. They were scared for their children, and their own lives. Everyone suffered and NO ONE escaped.

This book was excellently written. I have not read any of Markus Zusak's other books, but I give this book 5 stars. It is literary genious. It was eye opening and surprising.

Link to Top Mommy Blog

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Saturday, January 30, 2010

Yeah...never doin' that again. (Sorry, friends, this is more important that Silly Sunday!)

*Songs of the Day: Desensetized by Green Day AND Myspace Girl by the Afters

So, I know this is a brand new baby blog and all, but I've been feeling pretty good about myself. I mean, look at my blog.

It's cute.

It has personality.

It's eye catching, and I think my entries are pretty engaging.

And I've won awards!!!!

However, something that I am NOT: A computer whiz.

With all my amazing buttons, pictures, agendas, followers, and all that other jazz, I decided I'd better put another sidebar on there to de-clutter. (And I am being 100% genuine when I say THANK YOU to my friend at The Blog Frog who sent me the instructions- not smarmy or sarcastic, but genuine. It's not you. It's ME. I'm the one who doesn't know what I'm doing!!!)

Anyway, I got on there, thinking I'm all that and tried to re-program the thing by editing my HTML. When I noticed that my HTML was different from what was on the instructions, I should have left well enough alone, or maybe paid the $10.00 fee to the talented blogger at , or asked my genious brother to do it for me (more on him later.)

But NOOOOOO, I'm a big wig blogger now. I should be able to figure this out, right?


Somehow, that lovely tab that says 'Layout' when you click on 'customise' had changed to 'template' and I couldn't get my blog to go back to my original template, and instead of being cute and perky when I looked at my blog, it was just a flat green background, all my followers were gone, my beautiful buttons, awards, links and everything were nowhere to be seen!

In a panic I called my amazing brother, and on the verge of sobbing, I squeaked "BIEGE, I NEED HELP! My blog is all screwed up!"

My darling brother laughed at me for just a split little hiccup, and told me to calm down because Google never deletes anything unless you specifically tell it to, and he was sure we could fix it.

And thank goodness for HIM, he was right. (I would NEVER have known how to do it myself. In fact, I didn't do it myself, I simply handed over my email address and password and he did it FOR me. ~Wipes brow in fein relief~ Yeah. Whew!)

Come to find out, somewhere along the line, I had accidentally downgraded my account somehow, and all it needed was an upgrade, which was simple. But I didn't know that!!!

Anyway, now, everything is backed up (twice) and in my computer documents. THANK YOU BIEGE!

So, to all my loyal readers, will you do me a favor?? Please??? Take a look at my brother's brand new baby blog at (And, if you get the chance, please read them too! He's hilarious, and you'll really get a kick out of it) and tell him THANK YOU for fixing my blog for me!!! It'll make him smile!!

Dude, I SO owe him something fun from

Friday, January 29, 2010

Willey Wonka smells like WHAT?!!!

*Song of the day: Candy Man by Christina Aguilera

So, the other night, while the kids were eating dinner, I let them finish watching Charlie And the Chocolate factory. Watching television at the dinner table is not a common practice, but Brandon was gone, my son had been sick, and it was near the end, so I decided that it was okay, just this once.

If you have seen the new Willey Wonka movie with Johnny Depp as the main character, you might remember that at the end, Charlie's family moves their little ramshackle hut into the factory, where they sit down to have a giant turkey for dinner.

Charlie's mother, played by the ever beautiful and exquisitely strange Helena Bonham Carter, asks Willey if he is going to stay for dinner, to which he replies that he would be delighted, and takes a seat beside one of Charlie's grandmothers.

Grandmother leans over to sniff Willey Wonka and says: "You smell like peanuts. I like peanuts."

And Willey says "You smell like old people....I like it." and then it pans out.

Well, Mahone, though he had seen the movie probably a hundred times before this, got a genuinely confused and freaked out look on his face before he turned to me and said:

"Mom, she just said Willey Wonka smells like penis."

I honestly think I shot rice out my nose. (And I don't think that this story needs any further explanation. )

Thursday, January 28, 2010

And when I say....

*Song of the day: Glitter, by Motley Crue

My dear friends, this is a 5" tall EMPTY bottle. As you can see, it was once filled with pink glitter.

And when I say "glitter", I really mean pixie-dust-fine-sand kind of stuff that stays on your face after you wash 3 times. (Believe me, I know. This glitter is an every day accessory to my daughters' eyes and hair, and just as commonly, my son's mohawk.)

Also, when I say "filled with", I mean that this bottle was almost ENTIRELY full, as it was found only a month ago, tucked into one of my girls' Christmas stockings.

And when I say EMPTY, I mean "all over my house"

You see, I am not a morning person. I am now, and always have been, a night owl. It worked very well for me in school because I could stay up and study (socialize) all night.

When I was first married, my husband had to wake for work an hour before I did, and he would have 10 minute long conversations with me that I would never remember, and so would call him from work and chew him out for not kissing me goodbye. (Luckily, my husband is a good soul and never used this would-be-useful habit of mine against me.)

My disdain for the morning hours followed me into motherhood. I hear my children when they call me easily enough, but I learned to teach my children to sleep through the night early on and made the most of my sleep that way.

Now, all of my children sleep in regular or toddler beds, and though they still sleep all night, there is no way of keeping them in bed beyond the butt-crack of dawn (which, right now is about 6:45 or 7:00.)

Lilly is usually the instigator, and the first one up. She sneaks into my bedroom to whisper (as though it won't disturb me) "Mommy, can we watch PBS kids?" So, I say yes, and they slip down the stairs in their jammies, pulling along behind them their pillows, blankets and baby dolls/teddy bears, to curl up on the couch and veg out until they get hungry enough to come and pounce on my bed.

This particular morning, though, Lilly made her way into the bathroom before coming in to see me. The RULE of the house is that you do NOT play in the bathroom, and that if you need to go, you close the door behind you so that no one else sneaks in behind you. (And when I say 'no one else', I really mean Scarlet.)

Lilly didn't close the door.

Scarlet got in.

And STOLE the glitter.

It wasn't but a few minutes later when Mahone, always the tattle-tale, started shrieking "MOM! LOOK WHAT SCARLET'S DOING!!!!!"

So, fearing the worst, I jump out of bed and run down the stairs to find my couch doused in tiny, light catching stars. The amazing thing was that there wasn't even a pile. It just spread over the upholstered surface in a thin coat, like some sort of germ, or like in the Disney version of Peter Pan, when the pixies shake their dust all over Captain Hook's ship and waves of it turn the ship to gold.

Gone. It was all gone, and to my own surprise, I wasn't even mad.

That couch was a mess anyway. We bought it when Lilly was born, and it had been peed on (potty training), puked on (both spit up and many accounts of the stomach flu), bled on (skinned knees) and colored on with various shades of sharpie pens and 'washable' crayola markers.

Besides that, there are MUCH worse things that my children could smear all over my couch than glitter. (Peanut butter, for example.)

So, I didn't even bother to vacuum it up, or sweep it, or wipe it. I just went back to bed.

In the mean time, we all look like little fairies. Glitter has made itself at home everywhere in this house. It nestles in the carpet, on my kids ruddy little cheeks, in my dog's hair, and my husband's beard. Whenever we sit down on our couch, a sparkly cloud floats up merrily around us, only to settle along the hairs of our arms. My children enjoy it immensely.

It's a fairy wonderland.

And when I say "fairy wonderland" I mean that's-my-excuse-not-to-vacuum.

A genuine THANK YOU, and more opportunity to recognize some more wonderful blogs!

Yesterday, I was blessed to recieve an award for 'Beautiful blogging'

Shortly after I finished posting about that one, I recieved two more of them from another dear bloggy friend of mine, who I greatly admire, Tania, and I am grateful for both the awards and the opportunity to recognize some other very delightful blogs that I have been lucky enough to stumble across.

-Put the logo on your blog/post.
-Nominate up to 9 blogs which allure, amuse, bewitch, impress or inspire you.
-Let them know that they have been splashed by commenting on their blog.
-Remember to link to the person from whom you received your Splash Award.

~Drumroll please~ And this award goes to:
Jamie Sua
mamahood among other things
Adventures in Munchkinland
Adventures of PCJ (Pocket Captain Jack)
The Girl Next Door Grows Up


For which the rules are to pass this one along to up to 15 newly discovered blogs!! WOW!!!

Annette Piper
Christine's Corner
Mini Masterpieces
My Cup 2 Yours
Pics and Kicks
Sweet William
Ivy Twines
Mama's Losin' it!

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Wow! Just WOW! (For Thursday, January 28)

*Song of the day: I Won't Spend Another Night Alone by the Ataris

I feel like I need to stand at a pulpit or something, and pull out my list of names of people to thank!

"My hubby, for buying me my net-book, and reading countless vampire/werewolf (excluding the "Twilight" series) books while I type away into the wee hours of the morning, my children, for watching a lot of television and putting up with mommy's "me time" that lasts WAY longer than it's supposed to, and thank you to all my readers who don't really know me, but still suffer through my long and tedious stories about my little fingerprints on this planet, and.....the list goes on....."

For real, though, thank you to Janae at Pink Moss for this award, for your support, and for your comments! You are the best!

Maybe it's just that I'm new to the blogging world, and, in reality, I never win ANYTHING, but I feel like I've accomplished a lot. And I feel like what I am doing must mean SOMETHING to some people out there.

Seven Interesting Things About Myself:

1. I have several irrational fears. One is gray aliens. They make me cry. One is Kiwi fruits. they look like Tarantulas.
2. A fear I have, that I don't consider to be "irrational" is Mediocrity. I am afraid of just being 'ho-hum'
3. I would rather stab myself in the eye with a fork than throw up.
4. I once almost made out with the lead singer of the Ataris. I didn't because I was 'in love' ~eye roll~ (HE wouldn't have done the same for ME.) and I should have. It's my almost-claim-to-fame.
5. I have spent the last 3 years working as a model for an annual Vintage style calendar.
6.I have stood on the front steps of the place that Henry David Thoreau once lived. (Camden New Jersey is a very dangerous place, BTW.)
7. My house is now completely doused in my next blog to find out why!

As far as giving this nominating other blogs for this award, I have to freely admit that there are probably 50 I would love to present it to. Unfortunately, I may only give it away to 7 others. So the choice is hard.

1. Michelle at All Home Cooking. All Year Long because I literally sit and drool over her blog every day. Here is a domestic goddess. A woman who blows my mind with her ability to create delicious, beautiful, home cooked meals. Every Single Day.

2. Mean Mommy University because this is a woman I identify with in just about every sense of the word. I nod as I read her posts, muttering to myself "Yep! Yes! I do that too!"

3.Ciara at Milkmoon Because this blog hits that spot in my heart that craves poetry, and peace, and freedom. She has a beautiful, poetic way of blogging (not to mention, gorgeous pictures) that is just like a breath of crisp fresh air.

4.Organic Motherhood With Coolwhip because she is clever, and hilarious. I laugh out loud when I read her blog. Again, I relate to her entirely!

5.Ginny at Lemon Drop Pie Ginny has an amazing, tough, and compassionate spirit, and an exceptional life story. She has conquered much, and I admire her greatly. This is a woman who may very easily end up one of my heroes.

6. Helene at I'm Living Proof That God Has A Sense Of Humor Once again, I relate. (And I desperately want twins!)

7.Jamie at Stalling Jamie is an old friend of mine, and she is also a sensational writer. I love reading her blog because I am never sure what I am going to find. She is very funny, and has a perfect helping of sarcasm to wash it all down. She's also shown ME a lot of support and I appreciate it a lot.

Now here are the rules for this award:

-Thank the person who nominated you for this award.
-Copy the award & place it on your blog.
-Link to the person who nominated you for this award.
-Tell us 7 interesting things about yourself.
-Nominate 7 bloggers.
-Post links to the 7 blogs you nominate.

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Wordless Wednesday

*Song of the day: Be My Baby-The Ronettes

sPoOnS fOr ScArLeT

On September 21, 2009, my 18 month old daughter, Scarlet, pulled a dresser and television over onto her face. She suffered a fracture that circled her left occipital bone and traced around the back of her head and went through her right ear, leaving her with nerve irritation and a palsy in the right side of her face for about 2 months.

Luckily, Scarlet is a fighter, and so were the doctors and Nurses at Primary Children's Medical Center, where she was life flighted and stayed for nearly a week. Today, she is a normal, healthy, beautiful and fearless 2 year old girl.

Angels Walk The Halls Of Primary Children's Medical Center, and Miracles are handed out like candy.


In an attempt to give something back, to help save the lives of children like Scarlet, and to take care of the children who aren't as lucky, our family and friends would like to donate a tree to the annual Festival of trees (see ) to raise money for the children of Primary Children's Medical Center (see ) here in Utah- one of the best and most successful children's hospitals in all of the Western United States.

In order to raise money to decorate Scarlet's tree, we are creating these beautiful, baby-spoon charms, an expression of love and thanks from us to you.

A creative incentive, these
are a beautiful accent to any window, and will help us donate thousands of dollars to children who need us.

When you purchase a SpOoN fOr ScArLeT, you are donating $10.00 toward the greatest cause ever: Our Children.

100% of the proceeds will go directly to Primary Children's Medical Center to help all those precious babies who are hurt or sick become well and safe again. Leftover money that is not needed for the tree will be donated to the hospital in the form of a check.

Please purchase a beautiful
and help us help the children.

Monday, January 25, 2010

"Touchy Topic Tuesday"- Little Girls And Makeup

**Welcome to "Touchy Topic Tuesday" where each week I will post a controversial topic, and my opinion on it, and then leave the discussion open to all my readers. I am starting out small and mild with "Little Girls And Makeup"- however, if things go well and a CIVIL conversation ensues, i will be adding things that are even more controversial in weeks to come. The key here is to remember that everyone is entitled to their opinion, and there is no need to try to make someone change theirs. Any disrespectful, anonymous, or snarky comments will not be posted. Thanks!**

PS: Don't forget to grab my button (Left sidebar) and visit me every day. YOu are welcom to join me for a touchy topic day- post your touchy topic, and come on over to MY touchy topic tuesday to see what's up. Then make sure you leave a comment, and you can add your blog link to the mck linky provided below! Lots of discussion on Tuesdays, and lots of blog traffic.

I remember wearing a purple tutu with gold trim over a purple silk leotard. My fishnet tights were black, and I had a gold sequin tiara. I was seated on the bathroom counter, my eyes staring at the ceiling while my mother lined my eyes in pitch black, and painted my long, three year old lashes with mascara. The most dazzling thing yet, though, was the thick red lipstick she smeared across my pouty little mouth.

I tap danced at an amusement park that day, but it was the makeup that was on my mind.

And the day i started wearing it on a regular basis was...well, I don't remember. makeup is just kind of second nature for me now.

But it isn't for my girls. Every morning, while I put on my base, eyeshadow, my mascara, and occasionally some lipstick (it's usually an earthy tone as my skin is olive, my hair is dark and my eyes look green against browns- though I do break out the Mac Reds for sizzle every once in awhile. I just can't say no to vintage.) - my girls watch with wonder in their big, beautiful eyes. Even Scarlet, with her adorably high pitched little voice, asks "Mommy, I have some eye shadow today?"

And, of course, I say "Of course!"

I have to admit that I just LOVE to smear on some pretty pink or light purple color over my girls eye lids. Sometimes, I put on some light lipstick, and they both always have their own chap sticks in their pockets.

On a regular basis, my daughters wear perfume (Tinkerbell) and my even my son wears cologne (Bod). Many times, the girls will ask me to brush glitter over their new eyeshadow. And, again, I do that too.

Nail polish: A MUST! Lilly asks me just about every other day. I have to paint her fingers and her toes. And they have to match.

I have actually been confronted on a few occasions for my allowing my daughters to wear my makeup. One such incident was while I was walking Lilly, then 3, into a high school gym for her first dance recital. Lilly was pretty excited, and ran to hug her little dancer friend, but her mother looked at me with a poorly hidden expression of shock on her face.

"Wow, Lilly...and you're, even....eye liner too. Is that red lipstick?"

At that point, she took her daughter's hand and walked briskly away without any more words. And I think I stopped and stared after her for quite a long moment before Lilly dragged me along. First of all, it had never occurred to me that makeup was a bad thing for a little girl. I always do it FOR her, and it's always pretty, subtle pinks, just a touch of color on her lips or cheeks. Okay- there is always glitter. A LOT of glitter. But how many adults do you know who wear glitter? Glitter is MADE for little girls! There is never any mascara, never anything bawdy. But it most assuredly didn't make sense to me that a child wearing makeup when she was going to be on STAGE should be looked down upon at all. I mean, I have spent my life performing, be it in dance or theatre...and people on stage should wear makeup! (Okay- in this woman's defense, stage makeup IS a little over the top, as was Lilly's that day. It wasn't anything I would let her wear to school or to the store...well, maybe to the store if it were one of those days we were having aggregious ammounts of fun with makeup and got carried away- but never school or church. The point of stage makeup is to make your eyes and mouth stand out. And it did. I have videos to prove it.)

Essentially, the most common argument I ever hear is that makeup makes little girls look slutty. Well, can you answer me this: Do my little girls look slutty? I mean, they're 4 and 2. Anyone who would think they look slutty has a serious problem and should probably be registered somewhere. Makeup doesn't make people look slutty. Cleavage touting blouses, shorts that crawl up your butt crack and thigh high boots make you look slutty. Going commando in a miniskirt makes you look slutty.

Okay. Okay. I'm exaggerating. Because when I was 14, I knew quite a few girls who looked pretty out-there...but I didn't think they looked slutty or older, I thought they looked a lot like girls who just didn't know how to wear makeup. It should be subtle right? It should enhance a woman's beauty, not paint her as though she were a Picasso. Ladies, do you remember that movie My Girl? There is a line in there that goes somewhat like this: "A girl can never wear too much blue eyeshadow." --And that, my friends, is one of the reasons people were so hideous in the '70's.

I intend to continue to indulge my girls' fascination with makeups. And I intend to be involved every step of the way. When they know how to wear it beautifully, I won't worry about it when they are teens.

So, what are YOUR thoughts on little girls and makeup? How old do YOU feel is 'old enough' and how young do you feel is 'too young'?

Remember, friends, play nice.

HAHA! 3rd post today!! Wow, I'm on a roll!

Okay, I have just come across a really cool giveaway (I'm not usually a fan of giveaways, but seriously, this book series looks really awesome, and I really am hoping I win!) and I just HAD to post about it to give you the opportunity to win too!
Just go to or just click on the button that says "Geek Girl Reviews" on my sidebar. Good luck!!!!

Book Club update!

Just a six more days before I will do our review on The Book Thief, and we will start our new book. YOu still have six days to vote on what YOU would like to read (located on my sidebar) though, right now, it looks like we will be reading The Moorchild by Eloise McGraw.

I'm actually very excited. It's an excellent piece of children's literature. This is one to read to them at night while they're tucked into their beds. It's posetively enchanting, and I guarantee you will love it.
For further suggestions, please feel free to comment and add a book to our waiting list!!

Utah Ink

When I was a kid, I used to suck on chalk. Sometimes, when I'm pregnant, I still crave it.

Now, it couldn't be just any chalk. It was the heavy kind, the hard packed kind that was smooth all the way along it's thin, spherical surface. Anything that was too light, too white, or powdery just fell apart and was mushy.

Back in the day ('cause I'm SOOOO old and all.) my teachers would ask for a volunteer at the end of the day to go out to the playground and pound the erasers. I was always the first to raise my hand. I loved the smell. It was like wet cement when the sprinklers were on, or like the smell of the swamp cooler in the summer. To me, it smelled cold.

I tried crayons once. It was one of the extra fat ones. It was red. And it was tasteless. Not to mention, it left residue on my teeth.

I never cared to try glue, and I thought the kids who ate it and smelled it were kind of out of their minds.

So, I guess I should, in the very slightest, understand my daughter's innate desire to taste everything. I mean, I spent the first 10 years of my life sucking on pieces of chalk. But I don't. I really just don't get it.

My kids love apples. Apples are their favorite snack and they would eat them three times a day if I would let them. They also love markers. I think Crayola is stellar. Their markers are washable, and come in as many colors as the crayons do. They also come in something adorable called "Pip Squeaks"

They are only about 3 or 4 inches long, and, as I have learned, they fit easily into a child's pocket. I found this out because one afternoon, I had all my kids plopped on the couch to watch a Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, and I gave them each a shiny green apple to eat. Little did I know that Scarlet had shoved a blue Pip Squeak into her pocket before hand.

When I checked on my little mcnuggets ten minutes later, Scarlets mouth, cheeks, and chin were stained a deep blue, and streaks of it had dripped down her throat and over her shirt collar with the juice of her apple.

Scarlet had colored her entire apple blue with her little marker before she ate it.

It's okay though- she sometimes mistakes markers for chapstick, and draws all over her mouth, and sometimes she mistakes chapstick for food. I have several tubes of chapstick (Lip Smackers Dr. Pepper is my FAVE) with little bite marks in it because it was just so delectable, she couldn't stand it, and just had to sink her teeth in.

All over the place, markers are missing their tips, crayons are gnawed on, erasers are shredded on the pensil, and Scarlets hands and mouth are consistently vivid with the blessedly non-toxic inks and waxes of things that can't really taste that good.

Saturday, January 23, 2010

Something Silly For Sunday January 24


In the year 2008, the Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in the United States , and said:
Once again, the earth has become wicked and over-populated, and I see the end of all flesh before me.

Build another Ark and save 2 of every living thing along with a few good humans.

He gave Noah the blueprints, saying: You have 6 months to build the Ark before I will start the unending rain for 40 days and 40 nights.

Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping in his yard - but no Ark.

Noah! He roared, I'm about to start the rain! Where is the Ark ?
Forgive me, Lord, begged Noah, 'but things have changed.

I needed a building permit.

I've been arguing with the inspector about the need for a sprinkler system.

My neighbors claim that I've violated the neighborhood zoning laws by building the Ark in my yard and exceeding the height limitations.
We had to go to the Development Appeal Board for a decision.

Then the Department of Transportation demanded a bond be posted for the future costs of moving power lines
and other overhead obstructions, to clear the passage for the Ark 's move to the sea.
I told them that the sea would be coming to us, but they would hear nothing of it.

Getting the wood was another problem. There's a ban on cutting local trees in order to save the spotted owl.

I tried to convince the environmentalists that I needed the wood to save the owls - but no go!

When I started gathering the animals, an animal rights group sued me.
They insisted that I was confining wild animals against their will.
They argued the accommodations were too restrictive, and it was cruel and inhumane
to put so many animals in a confined space.

Then the EPA ruled that I couldn't build the Ark until they'd conducted an environmental impact study on your proposed flood.

I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the Human Rights Commission on how many minorities I'm supposed to hire for my building crew.

Immigration and Naturalization are checking the green-card status of most of the people who want to work.

The trades unions say I can't use my sons. They insist I have to hire only Union workers with Ark-building experience.

To make matters worse, the IRS seized all my assets, claiming I'm trying to leave the country illegally with endangered species.

So, forgive me, Lord, but it would take at least 10 years for me to finish this Ark.

Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine, and a rainbow stretched across the sky.

Noah looked up in wonder and asked,
'You mean you're not going to destroy the world?'

'No,' said the Lord.
'The the government beat me to it.

Winds Of Change

Last night, my husband and I were privileged to attend a session at the Jordan River Temple. For those of you who don't know what I'm talking about, we were able to go to an LDS (Mormon)temple where we could better feel the spirit of our Father in Heaven, and ask him specific questions (which we have been fasting about) about our family's future, and get answers to said questions.

Those of you who know us well also know that Brandon has been on the fast track (aka Slow Road) to Medical School at the University of Utah. It has been a hard knock trip for us since he decided that he wanted to become a doctor back in June of 2005. Many, many times he has changed his mind and decided to be something else, and each time we have ended up in the emergency room, thus spurring forward the saga of a married-with-children man who was 4-5 years behind his peers (due to an LDS mission and 4 years Active Duty in the United States Air Force) in becoming a PhD.

When we both were suddenly struck with the impression that perhaps the road we were on was about to fork and lead us elsewhere, I was kind of terrified. The last time we questioned Brandon's career choice, a television fell on my daughter and we spent a week in the PICU at Primary Children's Hospital. (Angels walk along the halls of that place.)

We decided to pray and fast about it and also to go to the temple.

Our answer came very quickly.

It seems, my friends, that my husband (and I) feel it would be better for him and for our family for Brandon to become a Seminary or Institute teacher as opposed to a Pediatrician. It was his plan to begin with, back when we were in High School, and when we were dating. Our life paths changed things. But we're back to the beginning. (Who says people never grow up to be what they wanted to be when they were kids?)

Still, we both feel very strongly that we did everything in our power to go where God led us- which means the military, and pre-med school and whatever else our family has muddled through. We don't always know the reasons we are where we are. We don't always know God's mysteries. But we have always had faith that we will end up where we should be. Even if the road is the scenic rout.

On another note, while sitting in the Temple's chapel, I opened the bible to Genesis 3:8-13, which reads:

8 And they heard the voice of the Lord God walking in the garden in the cool of the day: and Adam and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the Lord God amongst the trees of the garden.
9 And the Lord God called unto Adam, and said unto him, Where art thou?
10 And he said I heard thy voice in the garden, and i was afraid, because I was naked; and i hid myself
11 and He said, Who told thee that thou wast naked? Hast thou eaten of the tree, whereof I commanded thee that thou shouldest not eat?
12 And the man said, The woman whom thou gavest to be with me, she gave me of the tree, and I did eat.
13 And the Lord God said unto the woman, what is this that thou hast done? And the woman said, the serpent beguiled me, and I did eat.

OMG. Is this not hilarious? I mean, not the situation, but the classic case of "It wasn't me!!"? I see this EVERY DAY with my children.

Father comes to son, and confronts his mistake, and son immediately blames daughter. So Father confronts daughter, who blames the dog. (or snake, as it implies in the scriptures, though we all know he's not a snake at all, he is Satan.)

Anyway, I couldn't help but allow myself a small, quiet guffaw as I read this, even though a few people looked around at me in the silence of the warm, white walls of the temple.

Seems our Father knows what he's talking about, huh? When my kids are naughty and talk back and tell me no, and make each other do things that are not exactly within the bounds of our house rules- I think he understands. After all, we're all his CHILDREN, right? We do the same things. And he deals with US.

Hilarious, I tell you.

Friday, January 22, 2010

Not All Jeans Are Created Equal

Confession: I own a pair of 'mom jeans'

Don't ask me where I got them. (Okay- the tag inside says Old Navy, but I don't remember buying them.)

I'm the sort of mom who buys whole new wardrobes for my children in the spring and in the fall. But I rarely buy myself new clothes. If I do, they are expensive, because I'm learning that when it comes to clothes-ESPECIALLY JEANS- what you pay for is what you get. If I'm going to buy it, it better make me look smokin' hot, and it better be of excellent quality, because even a pair of jeans that looks spectacular can't make the cut if it is just going to fall apart in a few months. (read: beware of Aeropostal!!!!)

Now, it is true that my entire family is essentially a walking Old Navy advertisement. I love Old Navy. I love that I can shop almost completely off of the Clearance racks, and still get adorable, colorful, outside-the-box clothes for my children. I love how in the summer, you can get 3 for 15 deals on mini shorts and tank tops for girls, and muscle shirts for boys. 45 bucks each, and you've got a weeks worth of outfits that are cheep enough that you don't have to worry about sidewalk chalk stains, or sun fading- but they're still so adorable that your kids don't look like rag muffins. Once, I bought 6 dollar swim suits for all my children. Scarlet will fit into hers again this year.

It was the same with me during my entire high school and college career. As soon as Old Navy was in business, my family KEPT them in business. My mom shopped there on a regular basis.

Unfortunately for me, once I got pregnant with my first child, my body changed. I mean, it was a good thing. Before my first child, i was an almost-size 8. But just weeks after she was born, i was an easy size 6.

After my second child, i was down to a size 4, and my bust size was much smaller as well. (I know. TMI.) The sad thing was, I have noticed since I was finished with my first pregnancy that I could no longer effectively wear Old Navy clothing. I was deeply upset by this.

Once, there was a time when I could don a $30.00 pair of jeans (again, one reason i love Old Navy), some old t-shirt, and whatever clonky pair of shoes, and I looked like a doll. It seems now, that my style has changed. It had to. I had to try a lot of things to figure out what made me and my new, smaller, leaner and mommy-scarred body look decent.

Somewhere along that trial, i came up with a pair of what is not-so-affectionately known as a pair of 'mom jeans'.

Okay. For MY body, ALL Old Navy pants are mom jeans. The particular pair I ended up with is the worst though. They sit high on my waist, which isn't necessarily bad- it's a really good way to cover up that muffin-top that some people (especially new moms- i have one and like I said, i'm a size 4! I'm not sure it will ever go away!) have. However, my stomach is flat, so there are two handfuls worth of denim just below the pockets, and just above the croch. I mean, what do they expect someone who is a size 4 to be filling all that extra space with? They are hideous and I hate them.

Now, the question is, do I wear them? Yes. Yes I do.

But only when I have no other choice.

Over the last 6 months, I have somehow damaged all of my good jeans. There was an adorable pair of dark washed pants from American Eagle Outfitters that just flattered my figure beautifully. Unfortunately, they got holes in the croch (hey- i'm a girl. I cross my legs a lot.) and you just can't fix that kind of thing. The other pretty decent pair of jeans i have- well, lets just say I sat in something red and sticky that one of my kids was messing with. They were salvaged, but it took several stain treatments and I had to wear the mom jeans for several days before I had the relief of slipping myself back into my low rise, tight fitting jeans. - they're not exceptional by any means, but they are a million times better than my baggy on top, tight on bottom, up past my belly button mom jeans.

The thing is, I COULD go and buy a couple of new pairs. I would suggest Gap (which is the same company as Old Navy, it's just more expensive because it's better quality. Unfortunately, I have had bad luck with Gap jeans. Just about every pair i have ever owned has been stolen. YES! Stolen! But that's another post.) but it's pretty pricy for us right now. Not only that, but I'm hoping to get knocked up within the very very near future, and considering I've used all my maternity clothes have been used through 3 pregnancies and thus are pretty worn out, I am hesitant to buy anything new that I won't be able to fit into within the next 5 months. I'd rather spend that money on maternity clothes and then somehow milk the money for new, quality not-mom-jeans out of my husband once I lose the baby weight.

Maybe this time, I'll luck out and be a size 2.

Thursday, January 21, 2010

February 1st Book Review

***Thought of the day: On Sid the Science Kid (which I LOVE, btw.) Doesn't Teacher Suzie's songs sound suspiciously like Michael Jackson???***

January's book (to be reviewed on February 1st) The Book Thief:

(A Drama)

Narrated by Death, Markus Zusak's groundbreaking new novel is the story of Liesel Meminger a young foster girl living outside of Munich in Nazi Germany. Liesel scratches out a meager existence for herself by stealing when she discovers something she can't resist- books. Soon she is steal ling books from Nazi book-burnings, the mayor's wife's library, wherever they are to be found.

With the help of her accordion-playing foster father, Liesel learns to read and shares her stolen books with her neighbors during bombing raids, as well as with the Jewish man hidden in her basement.

Welcome to Braeleigh's Book Club!!!
So, I am an avid reader. I mean, I really read a lot. I used to read more, but now I have 3 kids, and honestly, most of my reading is done a paragraph (or a sentence) at a time. LOL. So, since I now have this glorious emotional/mental outlet called my BLOG, I figured it was a good thing to blog about.

Our book reviews will be only once a month (the first day of every month- even if that means interrupting Something Silly for Sunday or wordless Wednesday.) Maybe that sounds like a big ol' space between books, but for sanity's sake, we're keeping it low key that way. If I want to read a decent sized book, with my kids all over the place, and my playing chauffeur several times a week, I'm lucky to get a couple of pages in a day. Besides, I think book clubs USUALLY do one book a month, right?

Book clubs on a whole are kind of hard for me to attend. My husband works full time and goes to school full time. Usually, the day the book club in my neighborhood meets, my husband is at school, and it's late enough in the evening that it's past or almost bedtime, and my children are at that really hyper/disobedient time of day when they're just about ready to wind down, but it's the storm before the calm. I'd rather not have to take my kids to a book club while the other women leave their children home just so I can spend all my time keeping my kids in line.

Not to mention, the book club in my neighborhood happens to be a group of women from my ward (church group) and they are really more interested in reading church books, like The Work and the Glory, and books written by prophets. I'm sure they're all great. But I am so infinitely not interested in those books, that I'd rather eat snail shells than try and focus on one of them long enough to finish it.

Mostly, I'll be reading something that I am interested in. And I'd love for you to read with me! Then, we can discuss our opinions about the books through comments on the first day of every month. I am happy to take suggestions, and please feel free to vote for the next book (The poll will always be available for the whole month at the top right hand corner of my blog on the sidebar.) I will always try to have many different types of books. The options for February are:

The Scarlet Letter by Nathaniel Hawthorne
(A Classic/Romance)

Set in 17th-century Puritan Boston, it tells the story of Hester Prynne, who gives birth after committing adultery and struggles to create a new life of repentance and dignity. Throughout the novel, Hawthorne explores themes of legalism, sin, and guilt.

Romeo And Juliet by William Shakespeare
(A Play: A Tragedy)

A tragedy written early in the career of playwright William Shakespeare about two young "star-cross'd lovers" whose deaths ultimately unite their feuding families.

The Moor Child by Eloise McGraw

(Children's Literature)

A novel, centering on the life of a changeling girl in Ireland and drawing heavily from Irish and European folklore about changelings, leprechauns and fairies.

The Princess Bride

(A comedy)

The book combines elements of comedy, adventure, fantasy, romance and fairy tale. It is presented as if it were an abridgment of a work by S. Morgenstern, and Goldman's 'commentary' asides are constant throughout.

There are many books that I have read before and would love to read again, and many books that I have not yet had the pleasure of reading, and would love to have the chance. I will always welcome suggestions, and would be happy to add them to the 'list'!!!

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Wordless Wednesday

*Sorry I'm a little late. We were experiencing technical difficulties.*

Monday, January 18, 2010

Introducing Scarlet Serafina Estelle

Scarlet is my redheaded, blue eyed outcast. She looks nothing like the rest of our family. But she looks a lot like our extended family. She was born in Alabama 2 weeks early, and on that day, she had white blond hair. Within days, it was ginger colored.

Scarlet kept her 'baby smell' the longest of all my children, and though she is nearly two years old, she still has the warmest, most scrumptious cheeks in the world. I could kiss them for hours. That is, if I didn't eat them first.

This angelic face is actually the source of every single gray hair I have. She was a vision of perfection- a mother's dream, until the day she learned to crawl. Since then, it's been a rocky road with lots of blood and bruises. This little darling has become my worst nightmare. (You know, every family has one, though you always think it'll be a boy.) She is the kind of kid that does everything in the book. You know, how, with my first two children, I didn't need baby gates because they didn't dare go up stairs without me? She climbed OVER baby gates as soon as she could stand. My older children had tiny little toys like Polly Pockets and Lego's because they didn't put things in their mouths. Scarlet, from day one, has to taste everything. And we know that she'll never ever starve. Not in a million years. This kid can find food in an empty concrete room. She'll eat anything. And she's the kind of kid who shoves KEYS into electrical sockets. Yeah. She does all the stuff you always hear about but never see a kid do.

She's a survivor, though, I'll give you that. A true fighter. In September of last year, she pulled a television and dresser down on top of her and suffered a fracture in her skull that went from her left ocular bone all the way around the lower crown of her head to her right ear. She spent nearly a week at Primary Children's Hospital, and came home with a palsy in the right half of her face because of some nerve issues. Over the course of 6 weeks, though, she healed completely.

And she continues to scare the crap out of me every single day.

Still, she's my baby girl. She's the one who always has a baby doll tucked under her arm. She names them all "Pink" because it's her favorite color, and she is the most affectionate little thing around- aside from her biting habit which she picked up in order to defend herself because, you know, being the third child, you have to have some way to get what you want. LOL. She loves her family. She idolizes her brother, and he adores her right back. Mahone always wears a Super Man cape, but Scarlet rarely goes an entire day without demanding that I call her "Soop gull" (Super Girl- which was her costume for Halloween.) And she'll fly around the room with both fists out in front of her. Just like Mahone.

Funniest thing Scarlet said today: "Mama, that's like in Ratatouille?" (She says as she points to my computer mouse.) Close enough, baby. Close enough.

E-Book in the works!

So, I happen to the mother of 3 children, all of which slept through the night by 6 weeks. I'm not 'lucky' this wasn't an accident.
I will be working on an e-book over the next little while about how I did it, and how you can too. We all know mommy is happer when she's well rested. Baby is too, because not only is she well rested, but mommy's not cranky.
I'm hoping to have my book available by early June at the latest. For questions, or comments concerning the topic, or just to offer your own tips (to be properly credited if I find them appropriate) leave me a comment. I'd be happy to hear them!

Romeo and Juliet= TRAGEDY, not romance.

I became an avid reader of Shakespeare at an early age. I was only in 4th grade when my mother gave me my first book of Shakespeare's Sonnets for Valentines day, thus spurring my love affair with poetry of all kinds. (For the record, I highly recommend just about anything by Seamus Heaney.)

Only a few years later, she also gave me the Complete Works of Shakespeare's Plays. I have read many of them, and among my favorites are Midsummer Night's Dream, Much Ado About Nothing, Taming of the Shrew, Hamlet, Othello, Macbeth, Twelfth Night (or What You Will), and of course, Romeo and Juliet.

As a pre-teen who happened to be obsessed with boys, and knowing what I knew about Shakespeare (which, at 11 years old, was actually very little) the first play I read in full was Romeo and Juliet.

Ah, forbidden love. And to be with that person that made your heart flutter into your stomach and throat at the same time. To be touched by a lover, and kissed by a boy with breath, sweet, and adoring. How romantic. How cliche. How girly of me.

It did not take me long to realize that Romeo and Juliet was not romantic at all, but that the two of them were particularly stupid in all their dealings and that Romeo was not, as I had previously believed, a heroic, masculine, untethered rogue that represented the perfect man. No, he was, in fact, a coward. I mean, first, he's all infatuated with Rosaline, who rejected him because she wanted be a nun (read: she's only saying that because she sees Romeo as an immature boy, and she only dates college boys) and swears that he will never love another.

And yet, having crashed Juliet's party, upon seeing her, he is in love.

Essentially, we all know the story. They fall in love, they marry, Romeo kills Tybalt, and thus is banished. (Might I add also, that he throws a rather impressive tantrum here, forgetting the oh-so-beautiful and ready for the taking Juliet who sits waiting for him in her bedroom, a bride without a groom.) Juliet, who is in the throes of being forced to marry her father's choice, Paris, (who, by the way, seems to be the most eligible bachelor in all of Verona. Seriously, Juliet, get off the rebellious kick, and take a look. He's hot. He's rich. Romeo's a baby, and you're getting screwed- not in the good Las Vegas way either.) takes an elixir that makes her seem like she's dead. Romeo doesn't get the message, and he runs off to buy poison so he can bravely and admirably kill himself.

Now, what gets me the VERY most, is that Juliet is on the verge of waking when he storms into the family crypt and sees her lying there, all beautiful, with pink lips and cheeks, and warm skin...wait, what? Why would a dead girl have color in her flesh, and heat in her nostrils? Why would a dead girl twitch? BECAUSE SHE'S ALIVE, YOU FOOL, AND YOU ARE IMPRESSIVELY UNOBSERVANT! Anyway, he drinks his poison, dies instantly, and Juliet wakes, surrounded by dead things, and a dead boy who drove her to the brink of insanity. Of course, he drank every drop of the poison, which apparently is a quick painless death, and she has to use his dagger to kill herself by shoving it through her ribcage, and into her heart. Mmmm hmmm. Sounds like a good time, bleeding to death on your own burial shroud, just glad that you didn't die a virgin (because at this point, that's all she's got going for her.) THIS, my friends, is why people shouldn't get married when they're 13.

All in all, I think Romeo jumped too far, too fast, and had severe discipline problems, while Juliet (not any smarter by any means) got the short end of the stick in every way possible.

Even at the ripe old age of 11, I knew that there was no sense in ever wanting to find my "Romeo" (No, I was a 'good Mormon girl. I was looking for a Stripling Warrior.)

Which brings us to our next subject.

Taylor Swift.

Darling. She's a cute little thing, with big talent, and a sweet voice. I like her a lot.

Unfortunately, I don't think she ever read Romeo and Juliet. If she had, she would know that Romeo does NOT talk to Juliet's father (nor does she wear a white dress, because that is quite a contemporary practice- but that's irrelevant) they get married in SECRET, and then they DIE. (Listen: "Love Story" by Taylor Swift)

If you are in LOVE with someone, why not compare your love to Cyrano de Bergerac (Now there's a guy with a silver tongue!) or Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy from the classic, and romantically satisfying Pride and Prejudice.

My point is that if you want a romance to survive, you should never ever compare your love to Romeo and Juliet. They killed themselves, for heaven sake. Romeo and Juliet is not a love story. It's a tragedy.

Sunday, January 17, 2010

Something Silly For Sunday

Traditionally, Sunday is the day of rest. I rarely consider working on my blog work, and I enjoy writing so much that it is more like fun than it is a job.

However, in respect for the Sabbath day, I am making Sundays a day of rest on my blog as well. Fortunately for my readers, I think the God and our Savior are perfect in every way, including in their senses of humor.

On Sundays, i will provide a joke. Not ALWAYS religious- especially as this joke is about Catholic nuns, and I am not Catholic, and not ALWAYS uproriously funny. Maybe some days, i'll post a puzzle or a riddle or something simply thought provoking or uplifting. However, they will always be inspiring.

I heard this one last night, and I thought it was great! (Thank you Kristin for telling me!) Enjoy!!

There were two nuns...
One of them was known as Sister Mathematical (SM),
and the other one was known as Sister Logical (SL).
It is getting dark and they are still far away from the convent.

SM: Have you noticed that a man has been following us for the past thirty-eight and a half minutes? I wonder what he wants.

SL: It's logical. He wants to rape us.

SM: Oh, no! At this rate he will reach us in 15 minutes at the most?
What can we do?

SL: The only logical thing to do of course is to walk faster.

SM: It's not working.

SL: Of course it's not working. The man did the only logical thing. He started to walk faster, too.

SM: So, what shall we do? At this rate he will reach us in one minute.

SL: The only logical thing we can do is split. You go that way and I'll go this way. He cannot follow us both.

So the man decided to follow Sister Logical.

Sister Mathematical arrives at the convent and is worried about what has happened to Sister Logical.

Then Sister Logical arrives.

SM: Sister Logical! Thank God you are here! Tell me what happened!

SL: The only logical thing happened. The man couldn't follow us both, so he followed me

SM: Yes, yes! But what happened then?

SL: The only logical thing happened. I started to run as fast as I could and
he started to run as fast as he could.

SM: And?

SL: The only logical thing happened. He reached me.

SM: Oh, dear! What did you do?

SL: The only logical thing to do. I lifted my dress up.

SM: Oh, Sister! What did the man do?

SL: The only logical thing to do. He pulled down his pants.

SM: Oh, no! What happened then?

SL: Isn't it logical, Sister?

A nun with her dress up can run faster than man with his pants down.
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