Manic Motherhood at it's FINEST!!

Why "I am NOT a VOLCANO!"

Why "I am NOT a VOLCANO!"
click the volcano for the due explanation
"In all of living, have much fun and laughter. Life is to be enjoyed, not just endured." — Gordon B. Hinckley
Exaggeration is the spice of life

Book I am Currently Reading: Peter and The Shadow Thief

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Feel Good Friday

Okay! So today is my first Feel Good Friday. I'm new to this. And frankly, I haven't felt good all week. I'm tired. I'm stressed out. I'm breaking out worse than I ever broke out in high school, and I have been on some kind of mad-woman rampage.

I normally think I'm an okay mom. I have terrible (serious) mommy guilt. My kids watch way too much television, and I yell. A lot. Yesterday was the worst, though- and I am ashamed for my temper tantrums thrown that day. Both at my children, and my husband who is 100% more understanding about my shortcomings than I am of his.

However, I do have many things that make me ecstatically happy, despite my nearly regular bad attitude.

1. My Dog, Hunter. (Yes, my children are usually first. In fact, they ARE first, even today. But since my loyal mutt-he's not really a mutt, he's a Brittany spaniel- is the one who is making me all warm in an otherwise freezing room by snuggling along side me, today he's first on the list.) Hunter is the perfect dog. He's never once peed in my house, or chewed my furniture or kids toys. He checks my children several times a night to make sure they're in their beds. He has big brown eyes, and a light brown nose that he likes to press against mine. And he doesn't lick.

2. My husband. I've been a jerk. He's a saint. He blows my mind with his insane ability to understand ANYTHING- including very advanced chemistry, biology, math, and deep religious doctrine.

3. Lilly. While my other two children want their dad whenever he happens to be around, Lilly wants me. She's a mama's girl. And even in my darkest moments, when i want to cry because I feel like I've screwed up royally as a mother, and I'm sure that this particular time is the one that is going to be THE experience that makes them need therapy, she has been known to come and cup my face in her tiny hands and say "Mommy, you're a good mommy. And you're learning to be a good mommy, just like we are learning to be good kids." and then she will kiss me, and give me an extra long hug. (No, I didn't coach her to say that. She came up with it on her own.)

4. Mahone. (He only comes after Lilly because he was born after her. I tend to go in order. I'm obsessive compulsive that way. Things have to be organized.) Mahone has the most active imagination I have ever seen in a kid. (Though it is true that the only kids I have ever been so fully absorbed in have been my own.) Each night before bed, I sing to each of my children a song of their choice. He has to hear a song called "Don't wash my super cape" which is a version I made up for him from a song I learned in preschool called "Don't wash my blanket"- but Mahone's favorite thing in the world is his Superman Cape. then he has to tell me a long involved story, usually about a little boy named Mahone who battled bad guys along side his sidekick transformers and his trusty dog, Krypto (read: Hunter). After which, I am given an extra 'squishy' hug, and told that I can leave now. This kid makes me think outside the box. And today I miss him because he is with my mom for a 'special weekend' where he gets to go to Jumping Jacks and be spoiled absolutely.

5. Scarlet. Yesterday, Scarlet had her 2 year well child checkup, and was told that not only is she in perfect health- even after her television accident. I was also told that she was incredibly advanced and intelligent. Not only did our new pediatrician confirm all these things that I already knew, but she supported the decisions i made about Scarlet and some seemingly to me unnecessary hearing tests. ANNOUNCEMENT: We have found OUR doctor!!! (No, it doesn't have ALL to do with her telling me what I want to hear. It's because she took time to talk to ALL my children, very attentively, even though only Lilly and Scarlet were there for the appointment.) Scarlet makes me happy because she sometimes still lets me cuddle her. She wears a tutu every day, and that just makes me smile.

6. I know we're only supposed to list 5, but I have to throw this one in here, because it's a thread of hope for me. We've been TTC for 3 months now, and let's face it, TTC sucks! this morning, I took a test, and before the control line even showed up, a faint blue line appeared. I screamed "BRANDON! WE HAVE A LINE!!!!" and he came in and saw it too! (So I KNOW that if I'm crazy, then I'm not crazy alone.) Alas, by the time the control line showed up, the faint blue line had disappeared. It wasn't there even 2 minutes later, though we watched expectantly. We're clinging hopelessly to the hope that I am pregnant, and it's too early for the hormones to make the line obvious. Wish me luck!!


Tania @ Larger Family Life said...

Oh my, I think you have the most adorable kids in the world and I'm praying you'll get your blue line and another adorable kid!

Buckeroomama said...

Your kids are LOVELY!! What Lilly said? That just made me all mushy. SO very, very sweet. :)

Crayon Wrangler said...

Your happy things make me happy.

I am so praying that the little line shows back up for you!!

*Jess* said...

It sounds like you have a lot to be thankful for! Here's hoping for a line that stays around!! :)

Christina said...

i LOVE your childrens names too. I had Lilly as a top contender if soren were a girl. Scarlet is always a good one. And Mahone is really unique and has a nice sound to it.

Thanks for the add back. Ive been a follwer a while i just didnt realize i hadnt commented!

Susan Tipton said...

Lovely list. I'm so happy for you about Scarlet.

Melissa said...

Good luck with hopeful pregnancy and your kids are ADORABLE! I found your blog through 'The Girl Next Door Grows Up'. Cute stuff...!

Mommy Is Green said...

I love the hats on your husbad and son! Great photo.

The Girl Next Door Grows Up said...

Thank you for doing FGF!!! We can always find stuff to feel good about!

Everyone has Mommy guilt!!! Everyone. Trust me!

Yay for your doctor - we have a good one too and that is just priceless!

Have a great weekend. I hope you see that line!

Ginny Marie said...

You and I have the same mommy guilt! Too much TV and too much yelling. *sigh* I'm working really hard to eliminate the yelling, but the TV is very hard to give up!

Good luck for #4!

AngieB said...

Fabulous post! My boys were both cape-wearers when they were little, so you brought back special memories for me. I've got my fingers crossed for your little line - glad I met you through Feel Good Friday!

Confessions From A Working Mom said...

Your children have the most beautiful names-- I always tend to think of children as girls (probably because my mom's one of three girls, I'm an only child, and I only have a daughter!), but your girls' names were BOTH on our list at one time!

Thanks for the comment love today-- you are right, there are soooo many great Friday blog carnivals. I have to rotate just to fit them all in!

Confessions From A Working Mom

Kerri said...

It's nice to have some constants in this crazy world isn't it? Pets, Husbands, Kids, Friends...all that other stuff just doesn't matter.
Have a great weekend.

Foursons said...

First off- If you are pregnant,congrats!

Secondly- Lilly is a doll. Could she get any sweeter?

Mahone cracks me up. You gotta love a boy like that!

And who doesn't love a 2 year old in a tutu?

So glad you found my blog today, I look forward to your letter next week!

I'm NOT a VOLCANO! said...

Thanks everyone for the support! Unfortunately, I'm thinking our blue line was a phantom. I started AF today. I'm pretty disappointed. BUT, we haven't been trying for a long time, really- just 3 months. So here's to NEXT month! Wish me luck!

Tiffany said...

What beautiful children and great shots! You have a lovely blog. {grin}

Brian and Tonya said...

Oh my goodness. I just found your blog and have read every post you have ever written. You are so entertaining. My husband are living in married student housing at the U. We too have taken the scenic route in completin school. It's such a crazy small world that I just happened across someone who seems to write so eloquently what I feel. Thanks for visiting my blog and commenting. :)

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