All of that being said, I recently (okay- like several months ago- possibly back in '09) saw a topic on one of these frequented forums that kind of irritated me.
"Confessions of a Mommy"
Okay, not exactly a 'touchy topic'. What irritated me about it though, was that I expected to open it up to find things that other moms were confessing to. For real.
We all have mommy guilt. From the very first day you find out your PREGNANT, you can't escape it.
Well, you've heard the idiom "Misery loves company"? I admit it. I wanted to see what awful things the other mothers have done so that I could feel a little better- weather it was because I could relate because I'd BEEN there, or so that I could inwardly sigh with relief that I HADN'T been there.
I opened the thread, and I was severely irritated.
Not only was the thing 5 pages long, but it was actually devoid of anything I would ever consider an actual mommy-confession! Most of the fess-ups in there had to do with what they let their child/ren eat for breakfast, lunch or dinner. Seriously- some of the answers:
"I haven't felt too well today, so I let my daughter stay in her jammies."
"I didn't give my son a bath last night, or the night before."
"I let my kids eat the leftover birthday cake for breakfast."
"I was too lazy to go grocery shopping, so I let the kids have cereal for dinner."
Oh!! And my FAVORITE not-confession:
"I took a nap when my daughter did, instead of folding laundry."
I was so disappointed.
These aren't confessions! These are things moms DO! How many moms get their kids all dressed and their hair done when you've been puking all night and day?
How many moms don't indulge their kids on occasion and let them have something like doughnuts or brownies for breakfast?
How many moms do YOU know who have NEVER snuck in a nap while their child was sleeping? ESPECIALLY if you have been up for a night feeding, or with a sick child?
I have, on more than one occasion, been too sick of cleaning to dirty pans and dishes to make a healthy, well balanced meal, and instead let my children eat Cap'n Crunch for dinner. (I also regularly give them an extra spoon full of sugar on their raspberries at breakfast time if they promise to put their plates in the sink so that I don't have to.)
So lets be realistic. What do we feel guilty about. For real. I'm not talking funny 'not me Monday' stuff. I'm talking for real.
1. I am awful about soothing my children when they are hurt. If I saw them fall down and it was funny, I laugh. I mean, I've had more than one incident of bloody knees or scrapes that required multiple hours to stop bleeding (note the giant puncture wound on Scarlet's forehead in the picture below.) and of course, those ones are not taken lightly- but when my son has been told a hundred times to NOT stand on his tiptoes on top of the camping chair, and then the dog, whose leash he happens to be holding gets up and walks away, and my son does an involuntary flip off the chair and lands on his knees (see pic below also) it's pretty stinking funny and I have to crack up.
2. Whenever my children find themselves in a precarious situation (or a sticky situation) as long as it has been decided with absolute satisfaction that they are just fine, I tell them to hold still and grab a camera.
4. I let my son play with toy weapons. Like guns, whips, cannons, rockets and magic wands. (Yes, I know, a magic wand isn't technically a weapon. But in his hands, it is.)
5.This 'Baby Stella' as Scarlet calls her is on time-out. THIS is what my children play. Says a little about our family life, doesn't it?
6.Clearly, I am not concerned that my children eat things like markers and crayons and other disgusting things.
7. I do things like this (above picture) in front of my children. Their poor virgin eyes!!!
8. The evening ended in screaming, once again, when my daughters got out of bed for the seventh time to give me hugs goodnight. I lost my temper. I hate that. I don't like them to go to bed feeling like I am angry at them.
9. By far the absolute WORST thing that I think I do is that I occasionally let the words "shut up!" escape my mouth toward my older two. Usually during Scarlet's nap time when they won't be quiet and let her sleep. I feel the very worst for this terrible thing, and work daily on cleaning up this act. I hate myself for it sometimes.
But I AM very good at saying I'm sorry.
Now, make me feel better!!! What kind of confessions do YOU have!? (And if anyone 'confesses' that they let their child watch 2 hours of television today, I'll delete your comment! I'm kidding......but not.....)