Manic Motherhood at it's FINEST!!

Why "I am NOT a VOLCANO!"

Why "I am NOT a VOLCANO!"
click the volcano for the due explanation
"In all of living, have much fun and laughter. Life is to be enjoyed, not just endured." — Gordon B. Hinckley
Exaggeration is the spice of life

Book I am Currently Reading: Peter and The Shadow Thief

Monday, March 15, 2010

Touchy Topic Tuesday- Kind of a rant, actually: Confessions of a Mommy

Touchy Topic Tuesday:

Mommy Confessions.

Okay, by now, you all must know how I loathe chat boards. Yes, I still belong to a few because

1. They're addicting,

2. I have unintentionally grown actual friendships with a few of them, and

3. Some of them actually promote my blog, and I'm ALL about that.

Still, I'm not avid about it. I'm not there all day every day. I set very explicit rules for myself because I just don't want the drama of it, or the time commitment.

All of that being said, I recently (okay- like several months ago- possibly back in '09) saw a topic on one of these frequented forums that kind of irritated me.

"Confessions of a Mommy"

Okay, not exactly a 'touchy topic'. What irritated me about it though, was that I expected to open it up to find things that other moms were confessing to. For real.

We all have mommy guilt. From the very first day you find out your PREGNANT, you can't escape it.

Well, you've heard the idiom "Misery loves company"? I admit it. I wanted to see what awful things the other mothers have done so that I could feel a little better- weather it was because I could relate because I'd BEEN there, or so that I could inwardly sigh with relief that I HADN'T been there.

I opened the thread, and I was severely irritated.

Not only was the thing 5 pages long, but it was actually devoid of anything I would ever consider an actual mommy-confession! Most of the fess-ups in there had to do with what they let their child/ren eat for breakfast, lunch or dinner. Seriously- some of the answers:

"I haven't felt too well today, so I let my daughter stay in her jammies."

"I didn't give my son a bath last night, or the night before."

"I let my kids eat the leftover birthday cake for breakfast."

"I was too lazy to go grocery shopping, so I let the kids have cereal for dinner."

Oh!! And my FAVORITE not-confession:

"I took a nap when my daughter did, instead of folding laundry."

I was so disappointed.

These aren't confessions! These are things moms DO! How many moms get their kids all dressed and their hair done when you've been puking all night and day?

How many moms don't indulge their kids on occasion and let them have something like doughnuts or brownies for breakfast?

How many moms do YOU know who have NEVER snuck in a nap while their child was sleeping? ESPECIALLY if you have been up for a night feeding, or with a sick child?

I have, on more than one occasion, been too sick of cleaning to dirty pans and dishes to make a healthy, well balanced meal, and instead let my children eat Cap'n Crunch for dinner. (I also regularly give them an extra spoon full of sugar on their raspberries at breakfast time if they promise to put their plates in the sink so that I don't have to.)

So lets be realistic. What do we feel guilty about. For real. I'm not talking funny 'not me Monday' stuff. I'm talking for real.

1. I am awful about soothing my children when they are hurt. If I saw them fall down and it was funny, I laugh. I mean, I've had more than one incident of bloody knees or scrapes that required multiple hours to stop bleeding (note the giant puncture wound on Scarlet's forehead in the picture below.) and of course, those ones are not taken lightly- but when my son has been told a hundred times to NOT stand on his tiptoes on top of the camping chair, and then the dog, whose leash he happens to be holding gets up and walks away, and my son does an involuntary flip off the chair and lands on his knees (see pic below also) it's pretty stinking funny and I have to crack up.

(Caution is RIGHT, honey- when it comes to YOU.)

2. Whenever my children find themselves in a precarious situation (or a sticky situation) as long as it has been decided with absolute satisfaction that they are just fine, I tell them to hold still and grab a camera.

3. I took this picture after I put Mahone in his room- with a baby gate to prevent him from getting out- because he had been particularly naughty (I don't' remember why) and I let him cry-it-out. I told him I'd come get him when he got under control and was ready to talk. When I came to get him, he had fallen asleep.

4. I let my son play with toy weapons. Like guns, whips, cannons, rockets and magic wands. (Yes, I know, a magic wand isn't technically a weapon. But in his hands, it is.)

5.This 'Baby Stella' as Scarlet calls her is on time-out. THIS is what my children play. Says a little about our family life, doesn't it?

6.Clearly, I am not concerned that my children eat things like markers and crayons and other disgusting things.

7. I do things like this (above picture) in front of my children. Their poor virgin eyes!!!

8. The evening ended in screaming, once again, when my daughters got out of bed for the seventh time to give me hugs goodnight. I lost my temper. I hate that. I don't like them to go to bed feeling like I am angry at them.

9. By far the absolute WORST thing that I think I do is that I occasionally let the words "shut up!" escape my mouth toward my older two. Usually during Scarlet's nap time when they won't be quiet and let her sleep. I feel the very worst for this terrible thing, and work daily on cleaning up this act. I hate myself for it sometimes.
But I AM very good at saying I'm sorry.

Now, make me feel better!!! What kind of confessions do YOU have!? (And if anyone 'confesses' that they let their child watch 2 hours of television today, I'll delete your comment! I'm kidding......but not.....)


Casey said...

I let my kids eat m&m's today, ahhh. Just kidding!

I totally get annoyed with my kids when they play the million and one reasons why they need to delay bedtime. It just gets to me and I sometimes lash out.

I also admit to a lot of what you say

*Jess* said...

That gingerbread cookie is HILARIOUS!

So, when I was into reading the Twilight series books, I ignored my children while I read in my bed for 4 days straight. I only got up when my husband came home for dinner. I let my kids eat pringles out of the can for lunch, I made my daughter fetch me diapers for the little one, and let them watch TV and play video games 24/7. As long as I could still read my book!

Not one of my most wonderful mommy moments!

Michelle said...

I got scolded for not making sure my kids brushed their teeth well enough at the dentist last night. So there's my confession. I let my kids brush their own teeth. They are 11 1/2 and 6 1/2 years old.


Rachel said...

Jay thinks it's a game to get out of bed a million times every night. I will also admit to getting to the point that I yell and then I feel like crap because the last thing he heard before going to sleep was me yelling at him. If hubby isn't in earshot, I have been known to sneak back in Jay's room and tell him I'm sorry for yelling.

Aging Mommy said...

Any Mom who says she has never got mad and shouted at her kids is either lying or a saint. There are always those moments and worst still sometimes days when it all gets too much and so you yell, you say shut up or go away or something you don't feel proud of. I know I do and like Rachel I feel awful afterwards. But I tell myself this - it's good for your kids to see that you are human i.e. that no one is perfect - so long as you then show them how to make things right, by telling them you are sorry and that it is not nice to yell or say things that will upset someone. That way when they next do something wrong and ask them to apologize they know you would do the same thing.

liz said...

I think mothers who "confess" things like that are the same mothers who pretend motherhood is all rainbows and sunshine 100% of the time. Basically, they are total liars.

I have done all the same things you have confessed. And I think with child #2, I'm even more apt to grab a camera before helping them out of a sticky situation.

melissa said...

those confessions were so lame!!
i also grab a camera to catch my kids in the act - you're not alone ;-) curse of having a mom who blogs!!

Serene is my name, not my life! said...

LOL, I do almost all of the things you listed. I really do.
I've spanked, I've done hot pepper in the mouth, I've done soap in the mouth, I've thrown one kid in a cold shower, I've sat on them to calm them down, Just the normal mom stuff. =)

The JAMC Johnsons said...

I'm right there with you on the saying "shut up!" when I lose it. I feel terrible about it, too, but, hey, I'm human and my kids are really, really hard to deal with. (Aspergers) It makes me feel even worse that I lash out when they have Aspergers, but, then, it's really, really hard to deal with. Also, I often get in trouble with hubby for making "inappropriate" jokes about poop and butts. Real mature, I know, but it makes my kids crack up.

Andrea said...

I love the cookie! I know that is something we would for sure do! I am beyond imperfect when it comes to parenting but hey, life is never dull around our house. Plus my child is one the autism spectrum so some of his "quirks" are pretty comical which at some moments I shouldn't laugh at. Those are so not confessions! They would die if they came to my house:-)

Camryn said...

Man it feels good to belly laugh! Thanks for posting this. I found myself nodding, agreeing, or laughing out loud with you. I do the same thing with my kids when they get hurt. I laugh. That pic of your boy falling off the chair made me giggle. I'm still giggling!

In fact, I get bugged with they get hurt. With four kids, who has time to go kiss every owie?!

I have now taught my younger two kids how to kiss their own owies. When they get hurt and they want a kiss, I just remind them to kiss it better and they lift their arm and kiss it themselves and they go about their way and continue playing.

This post was great!

Lourie said...

I turn on the TV for my 4 year old, stretch out on the couch and take a nap. (this is my mild one)

Last night I went to a website called "Create a fart" with my 12 year old. We were dying. It was freaking hilarious.

We belch proudly in front of each other. Even the 4 year old will laugh and say, "nice!"

I yell too much. When they fight (espcially the two younger ones) I have actually said that they can not play together EVER AGAIN! LOL

There is so much more dirt I could offer. But I do not want to incriminate myself.

But yeah, those posts made my eyes roll. I think I am doing good if the TV is on only 2 hours! HAHAHAHA

Lali Johnson said...

I was a having a bad day. One of those "girly problems" moments. I was at my wits end. I struggled getting my baby ready for the day, and my 2 year old ready. Finally, my 3 year old. I had asked, begged, pleaded with him to get ready. Finally, I lost it!

"Get your f-ing shoes on now!!" (don't worry, I actually did say f-ing and not the actual word, as if that's much better.)

My son got ready, whew. He came around the corner, "Mom, I have my f-ing shoes on, and my f-ing jacket..."


Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
I'm NOT a VOLCANO! said...

To the anonymous poster who came to stir the pot, I am posting here to let you know that I commend you on being such a perfect parent that the only thing you have to admit IS that you feed your child chips for breakfast.

Also, nowhere in there did it say that I laugh at my child while they are hurt and BLEEDING- that THOSE are taken seriously, but if my kid biffs it while running across the grass and then gets up and runs off, yes, that is hilarious, and if you can't laugh at it, you're far too serious.

Your comment has been deleted because it is clearly stated in the outline of my first Touchy Topic Tuesday that DIFFERING opinions are welcome, but personal attacks are not permitted. So when you come back to see the boiling pot you set to simmer, just know that that is why there isn't one. I would comment personally on an email instead of here, but obviously you didn't have the guts to leave your name or an email address. So it's public.

Anonymous said...

I don't have any confessions because I am not a mom. But can I just tell you how awesome it is that you take pictures of this stuff? Also, I am STILL laughing at Lali's comment about her son telling her that he has his f-ing shoes and f-ing coat on. HAHAHA! Thanks for the laugh girls!

Amy B. said...

Omigosh! The "f-ing" shoes is cracking me up and totally something I could relate to! I am so surprised that hasn't happened to me yet! I can agree with just about everything listed. It takes everything in me to not go, "I FUCKING TOLD YOU YOU'D FALL IF YOU STOOD ON THAT CHAIR FIFTY-THOUSAND FUCKING TIMES!!!!!" Oh and my daughter just started telling my husband to "shut up"... wonder where she got that from!? NOT ME! Not saying I'm proud of ANY of that... I wish I could be Miss Patience Perfect mom, but sadly, I am not.

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