Manic Motherhood at it's FINEST!!

Why "I am NOT a VOLCANO!"

Why "I am NOT a VOLCANO!"
click the volcano for the due explanation
"In all of living, have much fun and laughter. Life is to be enjoyed, not just endured." — Gordon B. Hinckley
Exaggeration is the spice of life

Book I am Currently Reading: Peter and The Shadow Thief

Sunday, March 14, 2010

Not Me Monday- through the years.

In kindergarten, I did NOT get in a fist fight with a boy twice my size because he kept flipping my skirt up. I did NOT win. (It also did NOT have anything to do with a solitary white chair in a sea of brown ones that I always wanted and so did he.)
In FIRST grade, I did NOT get into trouble because I did NOT call two boys 'booger butts' because they were NOT calling my Native-American friend 'Chocolate person.' (they actually, for real, did not get into trouble. I was REALLY upset about this.)
In SECOND grade, on the day back from being off track, I did NOT chase every single boy down and kiss them.
In THIRD grade, I did NOT kick a boy, Frank, in the teeth because he did NOT keep crawling under the desk and kissing my knees. I also did NOT get into trouble because my 3 best friends and I did NOT throw mud balls at the portable (which was our classroom) and we did NOT have to miss an awards ceremony to clean it up. For YEARS afterwords, my best friend's mom did NOT lecture us about it every time we were together.
In FOURTH grade, I did NOT bite the girl who sat next to me (Alicia) on the elbow because she would purposely lean over and stick it on my desk.
In FIFTH grade, I did NOT have a teacher tell me there was no Santa Clause because she felt I was too old to believe such things. She also did NOT tell me that I should run away and never come back. She also did NOT make fun of me, and my best friends Brad, Rey, and Jake (all boys) at the time, telling the whole class how she saw all of them kissing me, which was absolutely, for really real, not true- we spent all of our time on the swings, and they were for really real, not my boyfriends.
And when I was in Fifth grade, my BROTHER was in SECOND grade- and he did NOT change his appearance each day so that he could sneak through the lunch line several times. (Bottomless pit, that one. LOL.)
In SIXTH grade, I was NOT an absolute looser with no friends because I switched from D track (where I'd been all my life) to A track, where the rich, spoiled, 'popular' class was, and I was NOT dirt under their feet.


lula-lola said...

I love that you did not kick Frank in the teeth! lol

Lauren said...

hahaha - what a wonderful history you have with the men!!

Bathwater said...

You obviously can't wait for the time machine to come along to take you back so you can do it all again, I can tell.

Serene is my name, not my life! said...

LOL! That was awesome. You sound like you were quite the girl!
Laughed until I read the last paragraph. Sad!

Lourie said...

I did not give a boy a fat lip for throwing something at me.

I did not give another boy a bloody nose for pushing me.

I did not punch a boy in the stomach for tripping me.

***I do (for real) think your 5th grade teacher was a horrible person***

Casey said...

The same 5th grade teacher did NOT tell me, "I can't help you with that math problem if you're too stupid to figure it out on your own."

I'm NOT a VOLCANO! said...

Oh my gosh, Casey, she did NOT!!!! (Disbelief at how horrible that is, not saying it's not true.) She was ridiculous, and was known to 'get rid' of or 'hide' my math homework and say I didn't do it. but my dad, who helped me with it every single night knew I had...and why would I just not turn it in?

Casey said...

Let me guess, as soon as it was questioned by your dad your homework would magically appear? I received my first ever F in her class, for that exact same reason! That's one person who picked the wrong profession. I wonder how long she taught after our class....

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