Manic Motherhood at it's FINEST!!

Why "I am NOT a VOLCANO!"

Why "I am NOT a VOLCANO!"
click the volcano for the due explanation
"In all of living, have much fun and laughter. Life is to be enjoyed, not just endured." — Gordon B. Hinckley
Exaggeration is the spice of life

Book I am Currently Reading: Peter and The Shadow Thief

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Thursday's Writer's Prompt- New Year's Resolutions

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Thursday Writer's Workshop
New Years Resolutions 

Today is the 5th of January. I have been avoiding this post. In general, I'm a bit uptight about resolutions. The honest to goodness truth is I think it's boring to read about. I mean, how many people want to get into shape every year? How many actually succeed? How many people set impossible goals for themselves? When people talk about resolutions, I feel my eyes sort of glaze over, and my mouth slouch into a bored frown. 

So I didn't want to talk about mine. 

Of course, I led my children in writing down the goals they set for themselves for the year, and we made some as a family, and I cracked up inwardly when I was perusing facebook, and saw a good friend of mine state that his New Year's resolutions were to 1. Play more video games, 2. Exercise less, and 3. Gain weight. Way to be realistic, dude.

2011 was a hard year for me. Not the worst year ever- that was 2009, but it was hard, nonetheless. Some wonderful things also happened. I had my 4th child, my second boy (Tuesday was his birthday and Wordless Wednesday is all about him!),

I was able to play one of my dream roles: Wendy, in the British musical "Peter Pan."

My gorgeous sister got married to a SUPER guy,

And My Business took off running!

When we think "cyber bullying", we usually imagine a teen or tween sitting behind a computer with facebook on the screen, and a bunch of other, meaner kids typing away at their own computers, all about this poor girl or boy who has no way to control what they say. But, at nearly 30 years old, I was, on several occasions, the subject of cyber bullying. I was the subject of several episodes of gossip by several different groups of people who should have cared about me, who had no real fodder against me- so what they said could not have been true.

On top of that, we have had some serious financial issues, though, luckily, by the end of the year, we were all still happy, healthy, and on our feet.

In all, I've learned a lot from this last year

1. When I was a kid and knew everything, my mom told me often that my friends won't always be there. My family will. She was right.

2. The friends that ARE always there aren't friends. They're family.

3. Some of those "friends" change, and sometimes, you have to let go.

4. Jealousy can hit you, years later,  even when you're over it.

5. My prayers will always be answered. Even if Heavenly Father takes his sweet time about it. Often the answers are sarcastic. Which surprised me.

6. I'd like to think I'm stronger for having escaped my latest trial unscathed...but I think that maybe God just had pity on me. I'm not sure I'm stronger for it. I'll probably bitch and moan just as blatantly next time.

7. Just because I'm right doesn't mean the other person is wrong.

8. People who choose to ridicule and discourage are usually jealous.

In my reflection on the past year, I have tried to sincerely study myself and to come up with goals and improvements that I can make in my behavior and ideas so that I can add more honorable topics to "lessons learned".

On the top of my list is this: To be so busy loving those that love me that I have no time at all to care, even the tiniest smidgen what people say about me behind my back. Those people are not worthy of my affection, attention, or even my dislike, let alone my worry. Let me save all those values for my children, and the ones who have my back.  For that matter, the people who TELL me about those who gossip aren't worth my time either. I can't trust them any further than I can trust the gossipers.  This goal will be infinitely easier said than done.

Next, I want to act in at least two plays. At the end of Peter Pan, I faced a lot of ridicule because, apparently, in following my dreams and doing what I like to do, I am not being an adequate mother. Apparently, parenthood doesn't require sacrifices, it requires you to sacrifice EVERYTHING. Apparently, I can't follow a dream without abandoning my children and marriage. It seems that I've done so many terrible things in my life that this behavior is believable and likely. (Note the sarcasm dripping off my keyboard.) I refuse to let those who might see my passion as a precursor to my children's demise dictate my hobbies, my passions, or make me feel terrible when there's nothing to feel terrible about.

I want to live. By this, I want to slide into bed, tired, exhausted, and able to say that I had grabbed life by the shirt, with both hands, and planted a giant, wet kiss on it's mouth. I want to laugh until my sides ache, and kiss my babies' cheeks off. If the situation warrants, I even want to cry until I am weak with lack of tears.

Forgive me if this bored you. I'll totally understand.


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mamafog said...

Happy New Year to you. I'm skipping the whole resolution thing.

Hope you get to be in the plays you want to. A happy mom is a great Mom.

Elizabeth. said...

This did not bore me at all, I actually thoroughly enjoyed reading it. :) Congrats on your role in Peter Pan, I love your New Year's Resolutions and I think they are all completely realistic. Best of luck to you and yours in 2012.

Becky Jane said...

...What would mother think of my becoming a pirate?

Lots of fun pictures!

Andrea K. H. Agüin said...

I love that you posted the things that you learned from last year, not just goals. True, most of the time boring goals=boring. Great idea. Probably more useful than what you want to do next year anyway. :)

Anonymous said...

I chose not to do resolutions this year either. Instead I have goals, all which require me to follow my passion (of course without abandoning my family). I honor you for choosing yourself and following your passions! Good for you! :)
I would like to award you the Versatile Blogger Award. I hope you accept. You can read about it here:

Shelomita said...

This is waaaay far from boring! I love this post Brae..I also just start making a resolution this year and one of it is to stay away from negative people. And you are right, friends sometimes changed and we just have to let it go.. :)

JDaniel4's Mom said...

What amazing lessons you learned! Last year sounds like it had wonderful moments in it.

Carrie said...

People who say you are a bad mother because you are doing something for YOU are not worth even thinking about.

Just because you have kids, doesn't mean you stop being an individual. Geez, didn't we drop this mentality once the 50's were over?

Good luck in doing those two plays

TinyTyrant said...

It's a shame that people can be so cruel to each other... I hope 2012 goes a lot more smoothly for you!

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