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Why "I am NOT a VOLCANO!"

Why "I am NOT a VOLCANO!"
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Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Thursday's Writer's Prompt - Lessons Learned from an extrovert

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Thursday's Writer's Prompt
With Mama Kat

Since last week I chose the prompt: Lessons I've Learned from an Introvert, I chose prompt #1- 

Lessons I've Learned from an Extrovert

When I told my husband about this topic, he asked "So, what have you learned from yourself?" 

Har-de-har-har. Believe it or not, I actually do know people who are more extroverted than I am. Not many...but I do. Still, here are a few things that YOU could learn from ME- an extrovert. 

1. If you have something of value to say, say it. 
             ~Extroverts don't hesitate to say what they're thinking. This is scary for a lot of people. They may be                  afraid of confrontation, or worry that they might be wrong. A lot of people don't like to rock the boat, and strong opinions do that. The truth is, though,  if YOU are thinking it, many others are thinking it too. There is always going to be SOMEONE who sees your point of view. 

2.  You don't have to be drunk to let your guard down.
              ~ Extroverts don't have trouble letting go of their inhibitions. It's totally okay to dance in your kitchen by yourself, sing very badly in the shower, or  to get up and sing Harvey Danger's Flagpole Sitta at the top of your lungs when you're at a Karaoke bar.  You might be embarrassed, you might be nervous. No one else cares. Really. When they leave tonight, you will never enter their thoughts again. 

3.  Confidence is Key
               ~Extroverts have TONS of confidence. In themselves, as well as in people they love. Sometimes, the difference between getting a job/role/a warning instead of a speeding ticket is confidence...and probably a little fast talking. I'm not good at the fast talking myself, but I'm really good at stealing the spotlight.  I get their attention, they give me what I want. In essence, follow the Nike logo. "Just Do It"- if there's something you want badly, don't chicken out. Go for it. 

4. What you see is what you get. 
              ~Most extroverts don't have very many secrets. They wear their hearts on their sleeves, say it like it is, and generally don't sugar coat things. In a friendship, you know an extrovert will never lie to you. Your boyfriend's a stupid-head? She's not going to tell you otherwise. In a romantic relationship, the extrovert is most likely to be the first one to say the "L" word. Always know though, that extrovert or not, they are still vulnerable. They're not invincible or overly carefree. Try putting yourself out there- even if it's just a little bit. You might be surprised at how opening yourself up can get others to open up too. 

5. Sometimes, it's okay to trust a complete stranger. 
              ~It's not uncommon to find an extrovert chatting it up with someone they don't know- in the isle of a grocery store, on a plane, in a waiting room. Once, I made friends with my phlebotomist because I opened up and spilled my guts. We connected, and 3 years later,  she's still a great, trusted friend of mine. Don't spill it all. Awkwardness doesn't make lasting friends- it makes you creepy. But it's okay to admit to your hairdresser that your kids drive you crazy sometimes, and two days ago, your 3  year old said the worst of bad words in front of his grandmother...when you give people a chance to identify with you on levels that most people can easily understand, you'll find a whole world full of friends. 

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gretchen said...

Okay, you just sent me to the dictionary to find out what a phlebotomist is!

I guess I'm an extrovert too. And as per #1 - You're right, I find that often people tell me that they're glad I said it, because they were thinking it but were too shy. Sigh...

Linda said...

As an introvert married to an extrovert, I read with great interest your advice. I am sure you are right, as in...the few times I have managed to open up to complete strangers it has usually turned out well. But as someone who has spent their life worried about what people will think and what they will say, it was your comment about them not remembering you again that really hit a nerve. Thanks for the advice...I may print it out and put it on my mirror for those times when I think I am not good enough!

SUPAHMAMA! said...

Great post! I am an introvert from an FAMILY of extroverts. They can make friends with ANYONE anywhere. I want to boil my skin off when my Mom starts talking to complete strangers in the line at Starbucks. I'm almost 30 and I'm still embarrassed to death to be with her in public. Some of these things I needed to hear, but I won't be sharing them with my Mother. :)

Diane said...

So true about number 4! I think this is the major difference between introverts and extroverts. I have never have to guess what my husband is thinking but he is often clueless about what it churning in my introverted mind!

I did this prompt too. But from an introvert's point of view.

Caelestis said...

A note about confidence from someone who has been on both extremes- confidence for some people is innate. They find it easy to believe in themselves. For others walking down a crowded hallway is too hard, forget talking to a crowd. The key to confidence is to fake it. I'm serious. No one will know if you're sincere or wearing confidence like a favorite shirt. And sometimes it's easier to fake confidence when you acknowledge to yourself that it's an act. Don't say, "I'm going to walk into that interview and look them straight in the eye and tell them I am amazing," if you don't believe it. Think of a person who you know is confident, and pretend to be them. Speaking from the experience of years, when you fake confidence long enough, eventually it isn't an act anymore. You are not lying or misleading anyone by faking confidence, you are merely deciding who you want to be and then acting like it until you become that person. It's easier than it sounds, and it doesn't feel as risky because 1) it usually works out and 2) if it doesn't work out, it isn't you they're rejecting anyway.

Jessica Blankenship said...

LOVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVEEEEEEEEEEE it. As an extrovert myself, sometimes people "take" me wrong. I've had plenty of non-extroverts not like me because they think I am too outgoing. What's wrong with people trying to get what they want in life?

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