The Golden Tooth Brush

When I was a kid, I remember, in the depths of early darkness of winter, lying on my mom's dark brown shag carpet and watching all those classic and cheaply made cartoons. You remember the ones: Under Dog, Mighty Mouse, Rocky and Bullwinkle and so on.

Somewhere in there, I remember watching an episode about the bad guys who had stolen an extra large solid gold toothbrush. What I remember most about it was that every time they would say "Extra large solid gold toothbrush" they would add "with extra firm bristles for exceptional cleaning!" and then they would smile, there would be a 'ding' and a flash of light on their smiling teeth for emphasis. Most of the time the characters had their hand raised with one finger in the air, and their eyes were closed.

I am not sure why this episode stuck with me, really, and it has had no baring on the kind of toothbrush I use. In truth, I don't believe I have ever, not once, in the years and years I've been buying tooth brushes, looked at the package to find out whether my bristles were firm or soft or somewhere in between.

Unfortunately for me, though, last Thursday morning, I woke, as usually, stumbled down the stairs to get my children their awaited morning breakfast, and once they were all munching merrily, I sat down to my own extra large bowl full of delightful cinnamon toast crunch, only to wince in absolute pain at the agonizing shock of the cold milk washing over my lower back teeth. It was all I could do not to spit and not to choke.

So, off to the dentist I went, bright and early on Friday morning. X-rays were taken, my teeth evaluated, and I was sobbing inwardly, knowing full well that I was going to need a root canal. (Seriously, why do these things always happen to pregnant women? We should be exempt. Instead, we are more susceptible to tooth problems, exceptionally rare disease, and strangers feeling the need to butt into our personal lives as though we are all public domain.)

I was honestly kind of horrified when I was first told that my teeth are beautiful and perfect and that I do not have any cavities.

I know. What weirdo is horrified at the thought of NOT having cavities to fill? Well, I am, because the LAST time doctors told me that there was nothing wrong, it took me over 2 months to figure out where the pain was coming from, why I was feeling it and then it took me longer to convince them that it was, in fact, real and not just all in my head. My IUD was ACTUALLY, at the fault of an idiot nurse practitioner from the military base clinic, shoved through my uterus and was floating precariously around in my intestines.

So, what was going on in MY mind was: "If it's not a cavity...WHAT IS IT and HOW DO I GET RID OF IT????"

Well, I am lucky that it was so simple.

Apparently, a tiny bit of my root was exposed back there due to my pregnant gums retaining water.

I was advised to brush my teeth with Sensodyne toothpaste (which I was SURE, throughout the duration of my life so far, was only for OLD people.) and to make sure I use only very soft bristles.

Haha! NOW I know what those little labels are talking about!!!