Touchy Topic Tuesday- Beauty and the Beast: True Love or Stockholm syndrome?

Beauty and the Beast:

True love, or Stockholm Syndrome?

Join the discussion on MBS also!!!!

Okay, let it be known that I actually love the Disney Princesses very much, and find them a great asset to our DVD collection. Personally, I feel that it's the way one looks at the Princesses, the way we discuss it with our children, the way we discover morals of the stories that matters. Not the princesses or the stories themselves.

All of them are very kind. There is an easy lesson to teach there.

Jasmine gets a lot of flack for being disobedient but really, she is just a strong woman who isn't afraid to say no to what she doesn't want and go get what she does.

The most common complaint I hear about Ariel is that moms don't like that she has to use her body to earn the prince's love. I mean, if you want to, you can go ahead and PUT your mind there in that gutter, and drag your kids along for the ride. Or, you can emphasize the importance of communication. Of GENUINE discussion verses superficial chameleon tendencies. "Body language" doesn't necessarily mean "Sex".

Tiana is a hard worker who learns balance between a time to work and a time to play.

With Beauty and the Beast, there is always the discussion about how people deserve a second chance. That no matter how badly we behave, we can change. We can be better. And with Gaston, the lesson learned is that it isn't about being jealous or about hate. It's about forgiveness and trust.

Speaking of Beauty and the Beast, this is the subject of my discussion today. As I said, I really love the princesses, but I am a woman. Which means I'm like Shrek. I'm an onion. I have layers. And I'm complicated.

Was Belle in love with the Beast? Or was she suffering from Stockholm syndrome? Let us diagnose:

1. Belle finds it difficult to fit in. I mean, Gaston's a jerk and it's obvious, so no one can really blame a girl for not falling flat on her face for him. But she is aloof from everyone else as well. She doesn't even have GIRL friends.

Of course, the story wants us to feel that this is because she's different. Better. They want us to think that it's because of her differences that helps her recognize the good in the Beast. Really, though, she's probably just snooty. It doesn't really make sense that she would BE friends with yet ANOTHER jerk. I mean, from the get go, the Beast is very much like Gaston.

2. Belle has a wild imagination. She likes to read books. And as Gaston says "...you start getting ideas and...thinking...." - Of course, reading is, by no means a bad thing, but, if she's anything like my son, Mahone, who has the imagination of an evil genius, it's possible she could get reality pretty mixed up with perception. Plus, she makes it pretty clear that she wants a fairy tale ending. For a girl with few prospects, the sudden appearance of a giant secret castle and a prince (no matter how big a dick he is) might be pretty difficult to let slip through her fingers.

3. Daddy leaves. I suppose by now, Belle is old enough to stay home alone, really. I mean, assuming that she's about the same age as the Beast, which is an argument in and of itself.

TANGENT:

In the beginning of the movie, stained glass animation tells the story of a young prince who rejects an old hag on a cold and rainy night. She then turns into a beautiful princess and places a curse on him to make him hideous and reflect his inner meanness.

A giant problem here.

The story says that the rose will bloom until his TWENTY FIRST YEAR. After that, if he has not found someone to love and to love him back, then he will remain a beast for eternity. The issue? In "Be Our Guest", Lumiere says "Ten years we've been rusting..."

That means, folks, that all this traumatizing stuff happened to an ELEVEN YEAR OLD BOY, AT THE OLDEST! There are so many problems with THIS, I don't know WHERE to begin!!!!

Seems to me like miss hag was probably just really a jaded babysitter who had a problem with the kid and used unethical punishments in his parents' absence. She probably needs some psycho-analysis herself.

Yes. I shall calm myself. It is a Touchy Topic for another Tuesday.

TANGENT OVER.

This story does not imply when Belle's mother died. In fact, it never even mentions her mother. It's possible that she's following along with the other princess' stories, and mom died in child birth. However, for the sake of argument, we're going to go with mom having taken off. So now, so does Daddy- to go to a fair with a really strange contraption that doesn't seem to have much real use. At which time, Gaston breaks into her house, nearly rapes her, and she is forced to go find Daddy all on her own.

Belle has some serious abandonment issues and may have been forced to be more mature than her age should imply.

4. Belle finds the Beast, who is quite the gentleman to begin with (read the sarcasm) and hates him. All that is to be expected. He is mean and gruff, and despite that, he gives her free reign of the castle due to it being her new home, EXCEPT for the West Wing.

ANOTHER TANGENT:

We're supposed to see Belle as the smart, "bookish" type...but what IDIOT goes gallivanting off into a part of the castle that has been very clearly forbidden by a huge disgusting Beast that could bite you in half? On the FIRST NIGHT she's there? Smart? Maybe. Wisdom is pretty dang low there.

TANGENT OVER.

5. After Belle thoroughly invades the Beast's privacy, he goes all kinds of ape nuts on her, smashes furniture, throws things, screams and stomps and throws a fit like the eleven year old boy that is trapped inside his lionesque body, and Belle flees.

Things get complicated here, because once again, like an idiot, Belle isn't thinking too clearly. It's the middle of the night in the dead of winter, and wolves are on the prowl. Soon, they are over taking her and her horse.

Of course, like a hero, the Beast shows up, rips them all to shreds, sends the little wimpy ones running off into the distance, and promptly collapses.

Now, any normal, sane and otherwise healthy person would take off and never look back. After all, the Beast can clearly take care of himself, and the Beast had earned no pity. Instead, Belle feels sorry for him, and takes him back to the castle. The movie would have us believe that it is because of her differences that she can see the good in the Beast, and that, in saving her, it has come to light (when, in fact, it was really just that he was so ticked off about her leaving, he had run out there to pluck her back up, throw her over his shoulder, and put her in the tower prison cell instead of a cushy bedroom.) The real issue: Belle craves acceptance. Having never been accepted at home or in her village, abandoned by both parents, she sees this gallant "rescue" as "something there that wasn't there before."

6. Having broken her spirit, the Beast can see that Belle will do what she is told. Typical behavior of a classic abductor. Wanting to be loved, himself, of course, the Beast is nice to her, now that he knows she will cooperate no matter what.

Mistaking the whole situation for "love", the Beast gives Belle her freedom, and she rides away to save her "dying" father as she has throughout her entire life (when really, he's just got a bit of a cold.)

7. Confronted by the townspeople about her crazy father, Belle tells them that there really IS, in fact, a Beast, and HE is not a monster at all, GASTON is, (never mind that they are actually quite similar characters.) The townspeople are enraged and run off to kill the Beast.

8. The true test begins now: Without Belle, the Beast falls into a depressed stupor. He DOES care about her, in a way- as any typical abductor does. It's corrupt care, but he cares. However, in this dark spot of the story, we see the lack of change glimmering through the climax. As Gaston and his lackeys are busting down the castle door, all of the Beast's servants are pleading with him to do SOMETHING- they are coming and they're going to kill everyone. The Beast replies "Let them come."

Do you see the problem here? He might care about Belle in his twisted, superficial way, but he hasn't learned to care about ANYONE ELSE. There are dozens, if not hundreds, of people -turned furniture- in there that will be killed, or sold at pawn shops should he lie down and take it.

He has not changed AT. ALL.

9. And, without any support at home, Belle returns to the only place where she really was accepted.

10. I guess in a sense, both of these disturbed individuals found their version of "true love." - it's not really so much of a "he loves me for who I am" or "She's so pure of heart that she could bust through this brick wall I have put up." It's more of a "I can be a jerk to her because she's used to it," and "He's not really that bad as a human with a castle, and after that life back THERE, I can handle anything."

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Remember, folks, I'm none too serious about this one. Over analysis is just one of those things that naturally occurs when a mom has watched a children's movie more times than she can count on a dozen hands. But feel free to add your opinions. Or just laugh. It's pretty funny.

31 Day Challenge- 2 Bucket LIST (list post), Not Me Monday, and Bucket List

I did NOT let Scarlet run naked save for her purple "Fancy Nancy" panties all day yesterday because it was Sunday and we were staying home.

I did NOT have an allergic reaction to some medication LAST Sunday, and my right eye did not explode into a solid red mass due to burst blood vessels. The most disturbing part is that my BFF and I did NOT go get me all dolled up and then paint me with fake blood so we could take morbid "murder" pictures.

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31 Day Challenge 3: Bucket List

1. Play Abbigail Williams in "The Crucible" on stage.

2. Live in Ireland.

3. Learn to speak Gaelic.

4. Visit nearly ALL of Europe.

5. See Big Ben

6. Take my kids to Disneyworld again.

7. Work at Disney- I'd rather be a princess, but by the time my children grow up and are old enough for me to put in the time, I'll probably more likely be one of the villainesses. That's okay.

8. Play opposite Brandon as Eliza Doolittle in "My Fair Lady"- he would be Higgins.

9. Own a theatre.

10. Buy my almost dream house and fix it up so that it IS my dream house.

11. One day, have everyone home for Christmas. There will be games, jigsaw puzzles and caroling. And LOTS AND LOTS OF PRESENTS!

12. Hike Machu Picchu.

13. Write a Fairy book. (For a sneak peek, visit www.thegossamerjewelbox.blogspot.com )

14. Have my wings featured in Faerie magazine.

15. Sell one of my upcycled sweaters (see www.thegleemansbaby.blogspot.com ) to a famous celebrity.

16. Be financially stable and out of debt.

17. Own that perfect pair of jeans and a gorgeous pair of worn in cowgirl boots- at the same time.

18. Star in an award winning dramatic film, independent or otherwise, and then disappear, leaving everyone wanting more, but hopefully admiring me for my priorities.

19. Make money for doing the hobbies I do anyway.

20. Get a Tattoo. Or 5. (I need to actually write a post about this one.)

21. Become a better photographer...so that any professional can look at it and NOT offer advice.

22. Be exotically and eclectically beautiful as I age.

23. Grow my hair to my waist.

24. Put dreadlocks in my hair.

25. Own a cherry red 1969 Mustang. ~Cargasm~

31 Day Challenge: List Post-Stuff I call my kids.

Lillly

*Lilly Pad

*Lillaputian

*Lilly Padilly

*Silly Lilly

Mahone

*Mahoney Man

*Mahoney Baloney

*Hone

*Dude

*Dude-a-licious

*Sugar Booger

*Moushka man

Scarlet

*Scarleroonie

*Little Red

*Rufus

*Roo

Teague

*Mr. Man

*Curly Fry

*Fuzzy

*Teague-a-licious

*Teaguer

*Teaguer-beeger

*Teaguer-britches

*Boogie bum

ALL

*McNuggets

*Happy Meal

*Mamoushkas

*Mamooks

*Mooks

Consider the Lilies.

Every October (and every April), worldwide, the members of the LDS church gather, watch on television, and listen on the radio, on the Internet, employing all manner of media to listen to our living Prophet and the Apostles and other leaders of our church speak to us the words that Christ would deliver should he stand at the pulpit himself.

Today is such a day.

Often, my spirit is harrowed up by the words our leaders speak. Many times, I realize my need to repent and to change because their words have struck a chord that was not in harmony with my spirit. And so I need to tune it to be in harmony with their council. I'm usually annoyed, then, by the people who talk about how comforting the talks were, and how their spirits were uplifted. Yes, it does say something about me, that I am not able to be comforted. Either those other souls are on the right track and doing wonderfully with their spiritual progression, or they didn't 'get' it. If I were a good soul, I would rejoice that they were doing wonderfully. Sometimes, I just bitterly think they must be ignorant.

Spiritual comfort is something I find difficult to come by, though, in any sense.

When my parents were found unconscious because of carbon monoxide poisoning and when Scarlet pulled a television onto her face, I was wracked with worry and terror while everyone around me felt comforted by the spirit, feeling assured that things would be alright. When I am having life difficulties, I rarely find comfort from them within my soul, knowing that eventually things will be okay.

My husband has been under employed since May.

That's really hard to admit. He has applied to job after job, rocked interview after interview, and been rejected again and again. I'm not sure who they are finding better than he is, but apparently, everyone is. I could go on and on about how wonderful he is, how professional, how dedicated, how he would be an asset to any company, and it would all be true- not just some wife bragging about her husband who isn't really as great as she thinks. He really IS that great. But I won't because it won't do any good, and I have a further point to make.

I am very thankful for our church. I am thankful for the internal welfare system within the church, and for our bishop and our ward. Without them, we would be broken and lost. We don't make quite half of what we need to make in order to provide for our family. And it isn't for lack of trying. It's not for laziness.

And I feel absolutely panic stricken.

Over the summer, it was not difficult to imagine financial capability before the holidays. If it wasn't one job, it was sure to be the next one. Or the next. Or the next. And now, we look at 12 weeks until Christmas and I have nothing to give my children.

On a more troubling note, I have nothing with which to buy my children winter clothes or shoes. They have coats from last year that will fit this year. I can hand Mahone's snow boots down to Scarlet, but Mahone can't wear Lilly's- pink with gray fur. There is nothing to hand down to Teague, as when Mahone was Teague's size, it was summer time. My children need things to keep them warm this winter.

Recently, deep in the night, I was wakened from sleep with worry in my heart. I lay staring at my ceiling, Brandon breathing deeply next to me, and a desperate prayer in my heart. "How will I take care of them? When will I be able to get them things to keep them warm? Will they have to wear the crocs they've worn all summer through the snow and slush? Surely their little feet would not stay warm that way.

I cried myself to sleep, feeling restless, exhausted, worn out and hopeless.

In those moments between waking and sleeping, I heard the words: "Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; They toil not, neither do they spin."

This is not a scripture I had memorized. I DID recognize the beginning, "consider the lilies" because of the Mormon Tabernacle Choir, and the fact that they sing a song about it nearly every single conference. In the morning I looked it up:

Matthew 6:28 - "And why take ye thought for raiment? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they toil not, neither do they spin."

In honesty, I was shocked. A little spooked. But in a good way, not a scary way.

I have since been able to pass all of Mahone's clothes down to Scarlet, and truth be told, it all looks darling on her. Someone at work brought several bags of clothes to work because she has two girls and was discarding their old clothes. She knew Brandon had children, and told him he could have the clothes. In them were dozens of cute, girly shirts and dresses that fit my girls. Shortly after that, Brandon's aunt brought over a bunch of clothes her 8 year old son has outgrown. I now have pants that fit both Lilly and Mahone. I still don't have anything for Teague, and I am not really, in much of a sense, very comforted.

It isn't comfortable, no matter how you look at it, no matter how many tender mercies you receive, to be living on the welfare of others. We are still looking for a new job that will pay adequately. We are still hoping that someone will give us a break. Christmas is coming, and I don't know where I'll get the gifts for my children.

In all my distress, in all my panic attacks, in all my uncertainty, it doesn't pay to give up. Giving up and being bitter will not make something click that will allow my husband to secure a job. Giving up will not make things better. But hanging on just might.

Peace may only come a moment at a time. But I once heard a line that makes a lot of sense to me: "Everything is okay in the end. If it's not okay, it's not the end."

True words, my friends.

31 Day Challenge: Elevator Pitch.

Just a heads up, everyone! I'll be participating in the 31 days to a better blog meme over at Mom Blog Society! Please come and join all of our challenges and activities over the next month! It's going to be great, improve our blogs, and be wonderful!

This doesn't mean ALL bets are off, but it DOES mean that I very well might skip some of the memes and activities I normally participate in in favor of the day's Challenge. Savvy?

What is an "Elevator Pitch"?

An "Elevator Pitch" is a concise, thoroughly planned, description of your blog that anyone should be able to understand in the time it would take to ride up an elevator. In other words, and elevator pitch is a way of summarizing your blog.

For example:

You find yourself in an are elevator with Oprah Winfrey, your blog is all about books. You have 60 seconds to summarize your blog, so that Oprah wants to advertise her book of the month club on your blog.

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My blog is a collection of hilarious, real life stories that any mom can relate to. I strive to have my readers nodding, laughing and agreeing as they identify with my daily plights. I like to promote my home based business as well as participate in stimulating memes and writer's prompts. I love to share my hobbies and passions and ridiculous encounters.

Friday's Foto Edit

Head on over to the lovely blog "Our Footprints On the World" to enter YOUR photo into the contest!

Before:

After:

Mama Kat's Writer's Prompt.

I've been on hiatus for awhile, and I thought the writers prompts had changed to random. They're not. So I wrote the wrong story. You can scroll down to read the one I spent all day on- it's very good. As for the REAL available prompt I chose:


What type of flowers would be in a bouquet that best describes you?

Well, if I got out Ophelia's list of flowers and their meanings from what my kids call "back-in-the-day" and figured THAT out, it'd probably be something else. However, just the way I am, I think my wedding bouquet says it all:

kdajskldf

My bouquet was all of red and orange sunflowers with tiny steel blue flowers (don't know what they're called) - I definitely think they still describe me.

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Of course, we all know how Mama Kat's prompts work. She has this nifty button you click on and it gives you a random prompt. It's a wonderful development. And every Thursday, I gladly participate. Please come over and link yourself up too:

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The prompt I was given:

Based on their personalities, what do you think your children will be when they grow up?

Warning: This post might strike you as cynical or cryptic. It's not meant to be. It's just reality.

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It has, on many occasions, startled me and tickled me to see the incredible differences in personality my children have produced, despite the fact that they were all born of the same parents and all raised in the same household, with the same environment around them.

Lilly is my first, as you all know. She came to me, wise already, with big brown eyes and fluffy cheeks. She has a brilliant mind. She is also stubborn and brave and has a knack for dancing and acting. Regularly, Lilly tells me that she wants to be a mommy, and that she wants to be on Broadway. Her career ideas have changed constantly through her short life. But I do believe that Lilly will pursue the stage in some way or another- be that high school or, like myself, in the community as an adult. Maybe Broadway. If she wants that passionately enough to try for it, I'll figure out how to get her there.

Mahone was calmer when he was born. For several years, he was my helper, my shadow, a sweet little thing with a ready hug and big fat lips to kiss. The last few years he has become quite intense, loud and rather overbearing with his affection. He can't just hug you, he has to climb you. Mahone is my king of quotes. He has a descriptive mind, and tells elaborate stories as though they are fact without the slightest pause. One might think, listening to him, that he believes the whole thing happened. He is a dynamic, popular soul. He brings people together, and doesn't leave anyone out. I can see him running for student body officer in high school, and spending his years as an editor in the Literary Magazine class the way his father and I did. He is not a performer though, and I don't see him engaging in theatre with his older sister.

Scarlet is my rebel. She lives on the edge, is always doing something that taunts disaster, despite our baby proofed home, and likes to color. On the walls. And her face. With permanent marker. Her favorite hairstyle is what we call a "faux hawk", she loves makeup and jewelry. And at the ripe old age of 3, she has a fairly decent collection of Super Girl comic books. I blush when I brag, because I know I'm bragging, but it has to be said that all my children are smart. They all are ahead of the curve. But Scarlet very well may be my smartest. She reads matter of factly as though there's nothing to do but say the word. This girl, I expect, to shock everyone. And then surprise them because they have judged a book by it's cover. I expect that someday, Scarlet will give me a great deal of trouble. She will pierce her ears, her nose and probably a lip. She will forge my signature and get a tattoo when she is 17 (and really, if it's going to go that way, I'll probably just sign it so that she doesn't have to rebel. My theory of good parenting is to never give them the chance to shock you. Shock them.) She'll be the valedictorian of her graduating class and then major in art.

I don't know enough about Teague yet to describe what I think he will become. I know he's stoic. He loves dogs and pretty girls, and he is his daddy's boy. He would rather play with a spoon and a scrap of fabric than any of the "real" toys that have generously piled up over the course of his siblings' lives. He likes to sing.

All that being said, in complete honesty, I expect that they will grow up, have their problems, have their triumphs. They will do some great things, and some mundane things, and they will get married, have children, and live lives that the majority of the world does.

Henry David Thoreau said, "The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation and go to the grave with the song still in them."

My children will grow to be good, productive, contributing members of society. Might they aspire to every potential they have? Will Lilly really be on Broadway and win a Tony award? Maybe. It happens. Will Mahone write a book and travel the world signing his name on the inside cover, appearing as one of the New York Times' best sellers? Maybe. He has the potential. Will Scarlet have a masterpiece featured in some upscale museum someday? It's possible. But the truth of the matter is, likely, they will live their lives in a fairly normal way and not get to do everything they want. A part of them will be living in quiet desperation, and go to their graves with that song still in them.

I don't think this has to be depressing.

Instead of hoping for them to reach their potential, which is incredible greatness, and being disappointed when they don't, and instead of hoping that they are able to find contentment and happiness within the boundaries they place on themselves with job, marriage, children, debt, and so on, my desire is that they develop more than one "song". May my children live a lives FULL of songs, soundtracks that ribbon across their entire existences, that the things that keep them from fulfilling their dreams may also be a song their hearts sing. May they always be restless in their creation. May that be a song. May they always be in love, even if their lover is common or poor, or has a conflicting song in their own heart. And may they consider that a ballad. May they never settle, but never over reach. For over reaching, instead of fine tuning, can break strings, go flat, and become a one hit wonder.

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Don't forget to enter my giveaway for a custom pair of fingerless gloves OR a custom pixie hat!

Hurry! It ends Friday at midnight!