I like....I don't like......

Seriously, it's no secret I have consistency issues.

I am ridiculously bound by schedule. I thrive on it. I have to plan everything out and have all the information or I literally have meltdowns. "Sleep schedule" for baby, nothing- mama's going to kick and scream if SHE isn't in HER bed by a certain time.

If there is some sort of documentation that I can fill in too (like my account at http://www.myfitnesspal.com/ where I count calories -obsessively.) then I feel much better about an iffy situation.

Now, another not-secret is that I have many many many ~wait for it.....~ MANY hobbies. This makes me happy because I love and need to create on a nearly constant basis. This kind of activity is something that helps me, as a stay at home mom who has gone the way of the 1950's domestic goddess and lost her own identity while honing the identities of her children and her impeccable house, dinner, and yard (~eye roll~ Yeah....right...)- it helps me retain my identity and my sense of fulfilment and self. It keeps me from being resentful. You see how this is an irreplaceable and super important part of my daily life?

Now, consider my blogging. (Or lately, my lack thereof.)

Blogging is not creation. Blogging is my source of frustration relief. My talk it out. My "you suck and this is why" situation, and my "I have to figure this out be rehashing it forty bajillion times and Brandon has HAD it with my incessant questions about whether or not we'll 'make it' or 'will ~Insert child's name here who just banged head on any varying piece of furniture~ be okay?' ".

It's difficult to do either creating or blogging lately, because, as a domestic goddess, such as described above, I aspire to not spend much time online while my children are awake in the day, and creating during the day is pretty much pointless since, with four children, a body must stop what she is doing every 48.95743 seconds and get drinks, lotion, wipe boogers, fix hair or broken toys, untie knots in batman capes or masks, or put band aids on owies that really don't need them. It gets tedious. Better to just stand there with a towel over your arm and a white apron around your waits that reaches nearly to the floor- heck, go ahead and throw in the black tux- and be a waiter for them. It wastes less time.

Not to mention, as an avid reader- a person who majored in English Literature and used to occupy my spare time by reading up to 5 books (all different genres) at any given time, I have come to realize that, in my so called life as it is, sitting around and reading a book, while appealing, is just a gigantic waste of time. How many hours are spent staring at pages? While wonderful for the imagination, while invigorating to live vicariously through a character who is fighting real live demons in a world not of our own, or falling in love and reminding us of the way we felt when we were young and vibrant, the time it takes to read one book take THAT MUCH time away from my home, my kids and the things that really HAVE to be done. It's not a debate. So, due to my being excellent at multi tasking, I can listen to audio books while I create, and it kills two birds with one stone, so to speak. Audio books are another thing that I can not possibly do with four children with a biker "mom" tattoo displayed invisibly, yet permanently on their sticky pink lips.

On top of that, I'm a fatty. Yes, a fatty. And I LOVE Zumba. It's another new found obsession for me.

Guess what? I hate mornings. I am cranky as all get out when I wake up in the mornings. It is literally impossible for me to Zumba in the mornings. I have tried. So, add that to the list of other things I must do after my children go to sleep. (It's on the kinect. Babies running around in the back ground would be to my workout as that last earthquake was to Japan.)

How does a person do it all? Well, I'll tell you: I have magic powers.

Oh don't I just wish.

What I REALLY wish for is one of those necklaces that Hermione Granger has in "Harry Potter and the Prisoner Of Azkaban." You know, the one that turns back time and lets her have 2 days instead of one?

Alas, that is impossible.

So, hoping that I don't add this meme to the list of my previously failed memes (and the list is getting depressingly long) I am going to do something new....though, it's on a daily basis, I HOPE.

It's called "I like.....I don't like."

Negativity easily can run rampant if a person lets it. So I must talk about something I like. Something that makes me happy. Small things that make me see the bright side of things...you know, and all that cheese.

And, you know how people say that a good cry can do wonders? Well, you know it's true. Sobbing for an hour, until you're exhausted, and you finally stop with a big throbbing breath that sucks your bottom lip in and out as you breathe and look at the world through clear eyes once more really can be very cleansing. Just like venting. It's OKAY to be pissed off. It's OKAY to be upset. It's OKAY to be sad or disappointed in something life has shown you, so beautiful and glinting like sugared crystal on a pedestal and then knocked it over, stomped on it, and then swept into a giant gaping hole the size of a New York city block that seems to have no bottom.

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I like.....it when I am driving (or, preferably, riding in the passenger seat) and it begins to rain. When a giant fat drop falls on the windshield, and it's big enough, and spreads out thin enough under the pressure of air we're cutting through at driving speeds that I can look through it without my vision being skewed and see objects clearly on the other side.

I don't like......it when people "compliment" you by adding the phrase "I could NEVER pull that off!"....is it a compliment, or do you mean I look stupid. Say what you mean and mean what you say.