Of course, I cannot go on with my Touchy Topic Tuesday without plugging for my
Gorgeous Wings Giveaway!!!! It ends at Midnight this Thursday/Friday, and you DON'T want to miss it!
Just in time for HALLOWEEN!!!
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Touchy Topic Tuesday: Skinny Jeans
Recently, my mom and I had a garage sale, and I advertised on my facebook status, mentioning that there would be TONS of adorable boy and girl clothes from Gap and Old Navy, among other places, for sale.
I was surprised by how many (hordes, in fact) people jumped in with "Don't you believe in hand me downs?" and "You'll save a lot of money if you reuse those clothes!" - as though a mother of 3 (soon to be 4) has no idea about the cost of winter or summer wardrobes that have to be bought every single year due to that silly little side fact that children grow continually.
The truth of the matter is, I have 2 girls. One born in the summer, one born in the winter. And I have one boy, born in July, whose baby brother will be born in January. Even if I DID save their clothes, the right season wouldn't match up with the right size at the right time. On top of that, I move a lot, so far, due to my husbands stint in the military. Hauling around, respectively, 11 years worth of clothing just really sucks, to be blunt. Just because I am not done having children does not mean that I seriously want to store every onesie I have ever put on a child just in case I end up having another girl. I might have 2 more boys after this...and then I would have had a growing mound of girls clothes piling up for no good reason. And having had two girls, I have come to realize, I probably wouldn't reuse the clothes I intended to anyway.
It might sound shallow and worldly (which, by the way, I am not. This just happens to be one of my 'things' I like to do.) but I just plain don't like hand me downs, and one of the many things I love about being a mother is shopping for clothes for my children.
This year was particularly fun because my oldest daughter, Lilly, was really interested in the kinds of clothes we were buying her for Kindergarten. She had opinions on colors, sizes, what the shirts said, how her shoes fit, and everything else that comes with shopping. She tried on EVERY. SINGLE. SHIRT. AND. PAIR. OF. PANTS.
Even for me it got a bit tedious, never mind her dad, and her brother and sister who still don't care a lick what I put them in.
Lilly's favorite item of clothing?
A pair of very dark washed skinny jeans.
(Lilly on her first day of school in her most beloved skinny jeans)
I am being perfectly honest here when I say that I grabbed a pair of jeans in every color and shape that was her size, and let her try them all on, and then I bought what SHE liked.
Two of those pairs happened to be skinny jeans, and I didn't think twice about buying them for her.
First of all, they were a great price. Gap had a sale on all denim- 10.00 each if you buy 3 pairs. Yeah. I was ALL over that. Besides, I am absolutely an advocate for my child expressing her own opinion and styles. (Which is why her hair is never 'done'. She prefers it to be brushed down and put back with a headband. No, it's not my favorite thing ever, since her hair is the cottony stringy kind that ends up in knots minutes after you brush it thoroughly, but she likes it. So she does it.)
Shortly after purchasing her beloved items of clothing, I read
this article that really saddened me. I mean, it didn't make me really angry, because I feel that people are entitled to their own opinions. But I feel that the woman on the anti-skinny-jeans side of the fence really had her points screwed up. If she thought they were ugly, I'd have no problem whatsoever with that. Personally, I hate peace signs and was a bit sickened to see that they're making a comeback this year. But to attach such meaning and symbolism and implications (have I used enough semantics yet?) to try and make your
opinion seem as though it's
correct really kind of gets my hair standing on end.
I mean, obviously, as parents, there are limits to the things we should let our children wear. A girl of ANY age should not be wearing a skirt that sways enough to show her panties (or lack thereof) or shirts that show off her cleavage. There are any number of things that a parent should limit from clothing that lets it all hang out, to certain jewelry, to piercings to tattoos, etc. But I think there are a lot of cases where a parent, because of an opinion that might be relevant in the adult world, makes the same thing that SHOULD be irrelevant in a child's world, forbidden. Which, inevitably, makes it desirable.
An argument that the woman uses is that these jeans are "designed to
'closely mimic the shape and style" of their adult counterpart'..." and then goes on to talk about how we shouldn't dress our little girls like adults anyway. I mean, what ELSE are they supposed to wear? Leggings and t-shirt dresses until they're 10? I didn't like that style when they were crawling let alone when they're old enough to wear braces on their teeth. And seriously, they're jeans. Not cocktail dresses. And when it comes down to it, when you compare the pictures, do they
look that different?
Lilly's fave skinny jeans
Lilly in her "normal" jeans.Does my daughter look too 'sexy' in her skinny jeans as opposed to her 'regular' jeans? In my humble opinion, if someone DOES think so, then maybe they'd ought to see someone about that.
As far as the whole "skinny" thing goes, Lilly has asked me once and once ONLY why they're called skinny jeans. I just told her "because they're tighter than 'regular' jeans." She was like "Oh, okay." Did my answer make her feel as though she were fat? Did my answer imply to her that she had to be stick thin to wear them? Does parenting really have to BE that controversial that if our child wants to wear a specific item of clothing, which, apparently is worth worrying about even though there are a thousand more things out there that are far more damaging, that we need to answer with a complicated "some people feel that a girl who is on the heavier side shouldn't be wearing 'skinny' jeans" or "I don't feel that the word 'skinny' should be in your vocabulary" or "You're too fat to wear those. You'll muffin top over the top of them."- because, really, when a parent is the one to express these opinions about an article of clothing meant for a young child, it implies in far more substantial disdain for the child herself that she is fat than the mocking of any other child her age ever will.
I mean, we all want to protect our children. But sometimes, there's just too much protection going on. A five year old isn't really going to have any clue whatsoever about a pair of jeans and being fat or skinny. If they do, then maybe the parents had better look at themselves a little closer and reevaluate the things that are priority in their homes.
My daughter is confident, healthy, neither skinny nor fat, sassy, and in my house, I am confident with my body weight, I am healthy, and I do not obsess about the scale, yet I emphasise healthy eating choices. Lilly is NOT going to become anorexic because I let her wear a pair of skinny jeans. If there is ever a problem, it will not stem from the clothes she wears, but instead will be rooted in what her dad and I, as her parents, instill in her as an important part of her blossoming self esteem. Do bullies at school help that along? Absolutely. And I'm not advocating that bullying is ever an activity that should be brushed aside. It can, in fact, cause much damage, as we've seen in recent news. However, I feel that the idea that the kind of clothes a child wears being made to take the blame for a possible future weight issue is really just a matter of people completely missing the mark.
It's an item of clothing, people. If YOU are self conscious about skinny jeans, learn to either let your own emotions go and let your child have their own desires without assuming that the world is out to get them, or find something else to be passionate about. Like circumcision. Because THAT matters so much too. ~eye roll~
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REMEMBER FRIENDS: Opinions on both sides and discussion of the matter is wonderful and encouraged- but personal attacks on myself or my other readers and their own opinions will not be tolerated in the slightest. Mean remarks, bad language or otherwise hateful comments will be deleted immediately without warning, without response or further discussion. Thank you.
