I like....I don't like......

Seriously, it's no secret I have consistency issues.

I am ridiculously bound by schedule. I thrive on it. I have to plan everything out and have all the information or I literally have meltdowns. "Sleep schedule" for baby, nothing- mama's going to kick and scream if SHE isn't in HER bed by a certain time.

If there is some sort of documentation that I can fill in too (like my account at http://www.myfitnesspal.com/ where I count calories -obsessively.) then I feel much better about an iffy situation.

Now, another not-secret is that I have many many many ~wait for it.....~ MANY hobbies. This makes me happy because I love and need to create on a nearly constant basis. This kind of activity is something that helps me, as a stay at home mom who has gone the way of the 1950's domestic goddess and lost her own identity while honing the identities of her children and her impeccable house, dinner, and yard (~eye roll~ Yeah....right...)- it helps me retain my identity and my sense of fulfilment and self. It keeps me from being resentful. You see how this is an irreplaceable and super important part of my daily life?

Now, consider my blogging. (Or lately, my lack thereof.)

Blogging is not creation. Blogging is my source of frustration relief. My talk it out. My "you suck and this is why" situation, and my "I have to figure this out be rehashing it forty bajillion times and Brandon has HAD it with my incessant questions about whether or not we'll 'make it' or 'will ~Insert child's name here who just banged head on any varying piece of furniture~ be okay?' ".

It's difficult to do either creating or blogging lately, because, as a domestic goddess, such as described above, I aspire to not spend much time online while my children are awake in the day, and creating during the day is pretty much pointless since, with four children, a body must stop what she is doing every 48.95743 seconds and get drinks, lotion, wipe boogers, fix hair or broken toys, untie knots in batman capes or masks, or put band aids on owies that really don't need them. It gets tedious. Better to just stand there with a towel over your arm and a white apron around your waits that reaches nearly to the floor- heck, go ahead and throw in the black tux- and be a waiter for them. It wastes less time.

Not to mention, as an avid reader- a person who majored in English Literature and used to occupy my spare time by reading up to 5 books (all different genres) at any given time, I have come to realize that, in my so called life as it is, sitting around and reading a book, while appealing, is just a gigantic waste of time. How many hours are spent staring at pages? While wonderful for the imagination, while invigorating to live vicariously through a character who is fighting real live demons in a world not of our own, or falling in love and reminding us of the way we felt when we were young and vibrant, the time it takes to read one book take THAT MUCH time away from my home, my kids and the things that really HAVE to be done. It's not a debate. So, due to my being excellent at multi tasking, I can listen to audio books while I create, and it kills two birds with one stone, so to speak. Audio books are another thing that I can not possibly do with four children with a biker "mom" tattoo displayed invisibly, yet permanently on their sticky pink lips.

On top of that, I'm a fatty. Yes, a fatty. And I LOVE Zumba. It's another new found obsession for me.

Guess what? I hate mornings. I am cranky as all get out when I wake up in the mornings. It is literally impossible for me to Zumba in the mornings. I have tried. So, add that to the list of other things I must do after my children go to sleep. (It's on the kinect. Babies running around in the back ground would be to my workout as that last earthquake was to Japan.)

How does a person do it all? Well, I'll tell you: I have magic powers.

Oh don't I just wish.

What I REALLY wish for is one of those necklaces that Hermione Granger has in "Harry Potter and the Prisoner Of Azkaban." You know, the one that turns back time and lets her have 2 days instead of one?

Alas, that is impossible.

So, hoping that I don't add this meme to the list of my previously failed memes (and the list is getting depressingly long) I am going to do something new....though, it's on a daily basis, I HOPE.

It's called "I like.....I don't like."

Negativity easily can run rampant if a person lets it. So I must talk about something I like. Something that makes me happy. Small things that make me see the bright side of things...you know, and all that cheese.

And, you know how people say that a good cry can do wonders? Well, you know it's true. Sobbing for an hour, until you're exhausted, and you finally stop with a big throbbing breath that sucks your bottom lip in and out as you breathe and look at the world through clear eyes once more really can be very cleansing. Just like venting. It's OKAY to be pissed off. It's OKAY to be upset. It's OKAY to be sad or disappointed in something life has shown you, so beautiful and glinting like sugared crystal on a pedestal and then knocked it over, stomped on it, and then swept into a giant gaping hole the size of a New York city block that seems to have no bottom.

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I like.....it when I am driving (or, preferably, riding in the passenger seat) and it begins to rain. When a giant fat drop falls on the windshield, and it's big enough, and spreads out thin enough under the pressure of air we're cutting through at driving speeds that I can look through it without my vision being skewed and see objects clearly on the other side.

I don't like......it when people "compliment" you by adding the phrase "I could NEVER pull that off!"....is it a compliment, or do you mean I look stupid. Say what you mean and mean what you say.

Catching up on the kid-isms

Mahone:
Mahone: Mom, do you know Utah is an island?
Me: Uh...no....
Mahone: Yeah- because of the Salt Lake. people came here on boats, but got lost and went the wrong way. So now, we have Tooele.

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Mahone to Scarlet: "Keep ASKING dad until he agrees!!!"


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Mahone was wiggling around all over the place, and I asked him what he was doing. His answer: "I'm trying to make my body become even more fantastic."

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(After going pee) "Our bodies take water and turn it into gold!"


Scarlet:

"And it came to pass that the man with the yellow hat came, and Jesus cried mightily that George should STOP FEEDING THE ANIMALS..."

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"Mommy, hurry and get me a bandaid! My owie is leaking."

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Scarlet: Lilly, do you know what "service" is?
Lilly: Yes...
Scarlet: Go put these (shoes) in my room.

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Brandon: What part of NO don't you understand?
Scarlet: The "O" part.

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I'm the three year oldest girl!!!!!

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Scarlet: (while taking care of her baby doll with a doctors kit) My baby is sick.
Me: Awwww. What's the matter?
Scarlet: She's crazy.

Introducing: The Gleeman's Baby

The Gleeman's Baby

Today, I'm going to introduce my new etsy store, a business I've been working on since I received a serger from my mother in law and my husband for Christmas, and it has become my most priceless and prized posession!!!

(Visit me at http://www.thegleemansbaby.etsy.com/ and "like" me on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/The-Gleemans-Baby/177783705607118 - when I reach 100 "likes", I will have a drawing for a free pair of gauntlets!!!)

Tender mercies: Blessings in (gross) disguises.

So, I've always admired my mother and her ability to consistently remain organized and on top of things, including her squeaky clean house and yard and car. Everything ALWAYS smells good. Never once do I remember a rank smell emitting from the fridge or under a car seat. I don't remember my car seat days, but I'm sure that there was never a crumb to be found.

Now, I wouldn't call myself the opposite. My house is pretty clean. I do laundry, I vacuum often, I do dishes every day, and my SAHM duties are well taken care of.

But, over the years, through much stressing and trying to measure up and make things perfect, and look like i have it all together, I have come to a few conclusions:

1. It's either my house or the car. I can't do both.

Yeah- I know it should be simple to bring everything in as we go, and if we come inside, if there are cups or bags or whatever else on the floor, bring it in too. I mean, it's a simple concept...if you're not also in charge of taking several trips in and out just to be able to carry in 3 sleeping kids, one that just won't walk because she's cranky, and a diaper bag that contains the last of the wipes and formula that has to last until you can make it to the store. Pile that all in the middle, and it kind of makes you want to just leave stuff there. So I do.

2. NO ONE has it all together.

For REAL. Have you seen any comic strips lately? Have you heard any jokes? Talked to other moms? If it weren't true, there wouldn't be jokes about it, and people wouldn't talk. As for other moms, if they talk about how they have it all under control, you know already that they don't- or they wouldn't feel the need to tell people that they do. If they aren't bragging about it, then they're talking about how hard it is, and everyone else agrees with them. I guess I idolized my mom- and truth be told, I still do- but I don't remember things being out of control. Maybe she WAS the only REAL super mom.

3. Laundry is never ending.

Back in the day- you know, the one where i had one or maybe two children- I thought I was extremely clever in committing myself to wash, dry and fold one load of laundry per day. I told myself- if you can keep on top of that, it is THE secret to having a clean house and clothed children. Well...that's all very well and good, and for a time it worked. However, now that I have a plethora of children, my family wears more than one load worth of laundry per day. In order to keep up on that, and make sure that they all have clean things to wear, I have to wash around 3 loads of laundry per day. And then, the question of folding it comes in. Back in the day, when I folded one load, it took me a whole of 15- 20 minutes to fold and hang and put it away. Now, after I spend all morning washing and drying it, when I have time to sit down and fold it (During Teague's nap) my given time is just not enough to cover it. At least not to fold it AND put it away. And then, if I am lucky enough to find a day where it somehow works out and I get most or all of it done, my kids take off their clothes, I put the day's burp rags and wash cloths and towels from baths and showers into the basket....and it starts all over. There is nothing I can do about this. It's the price I pay for having a biological clock that just won't stop ticking.

3. It's going to be a long while before my house is spotless and smells good in every room. As in, when my kids are in college....or more likely, when my GRAND kids are grown up and in college. I try. And I fail. It's a vicious cycle.

Now, many of you know from my previous posts that my middle two children attend preschool around the mountain, 45 minutes away from my house.

Having been on several much longer road trips in the recent past, our minivan is a huge mess. (See conclusion #1.) Last Sunday, after spending the evening with my family, while I loaded children, diaper bags, coats and now empty casserole dishes into my van, my siblings (as amazingly organized and clean as my mother) jokingly commented on my messy van- I remember looking into the depths of it and noting crayons in seat creases, paper and crackers and toys all over the floor, a pile of left sweaters and jackets and blankets between the front seats. Plastic water bottles littered the floor- souvenirs from gas stations all over Utah. And several empty and half full cups from various fast food restaurants in the cup holders at the front.

Yes. I thought. I'm going to clean it.

Well, I didn't. I meant to. But I didn't. You see, in that week, Brandon's car broke down, his work schedule got changed, Mahone had a minor head injury, and that was only Monday. From there, all hell broke loose and it was a week full of stupid.

Today, on the way home from preschool, my Scarlet shrieked from the back seat "MOM!!! I have to go to the bathroom!!!"

"Hold it, hold it!!" I shrieked back, gaging the distance. We were only half way home, passing the refinery. We had a good 20-25 minutes. I told her "We'll be home soon- hold it!" and waited for only a few moments before she cried out in a panic "Mommy! I have to GOOoooo!"

From there, she continued to cry, sounding fairly painful, and I wracked my brain for an idea.

We had already passed the last gas station until we would enter our own town, and stopping by the side of the road where we were could get us arrested as it is private property owned by Kennecott.

Finally, my decision made, I pulled off the side of the road as we rounded the exit and approached a tourist area looking out over the Salt Lake. With an uneasy glance around, I noticed several cars parked along the parking strip, and a few men and women huddling in their coats as a "spring flurry" of fluffy snowflakes flew through the air (yes, I realize it's nearly May...but it's also Utah, so we are always on our toes.) There wasn't any way I could let my 3 year old potty out there without exposing her little bottom to who knows who. Frantically, as she wiggled out of her car seat straining to "hold it", I rummaged frantically through the garbage in my van.

And then, as Scarlet stripped of her pant, I dumped left over watery root beer onto the pavement and held up the soggy, empty cup. And promptly, I laughed inwardly with the idea "I have GOT to blog about this."

So here I am. Near 4 months after having abandoned my blog for the purpose of settling into my new life with a new baby and trusting in the words of a blogger I much respect that it's okay, if you need a break, to abandon your blog indefinitely, and it'll be okay. Your followers will be happy to see you return and you may even gain a few in your absence.

I cannot promise you much, my friends. But I'll promise that I'll TRY. I'll try to post more often. Because it's easier for me to laugh at my life and it's discrepancies, it's daily trials, it's regular frustrations and occasional triumphs when i have somewhere to put it all down, and people who appreciate it's intricacy and truth.

My title picture is no loger accurate.

Teague's birth story:

On Sunday (January 2nd) night, my water broke. It was soooo strange. It was 7:15 or so, and there was a pretty wet secretion that I ignored at first, and shoved to the back of my mind as a minor suspicion because jeez, I'm always wet and gooey when I'm pregnant.But it didn't stop, and the spurts kept getting bigger. So, we called my friend to come watch my kids, and my doc said go straight to L&D.

I also called my dad to come and pick the kids up- they stayed with my parents during this whole thing, and my dad's an hour away, so my friend came over for awhile.

I have to admit, having my water break was kind of nice. I wasn't having contractions, so other than just kind of feeling like a 2 year old with a 5 day old wet soggy diaper on, I felt fine and was able to pack extra things for my kids, organize and make sure everyone was taken care of and comfortable with the situation.

I was wearing a pad, so I thought things were okay- until at about 8:30, which is when we got to the hospital, I got out of the car and when I stood up, my water gushed and my pants were wet all the way down to the knees. It was SOOOOOO GROSS! LOL. (remember, I've never had my water break- I was always in immediate pain and hard fast labor- I've never understood the whole idea of "did I pee or did my water break?" I thought, how could you NOT know? But it's an experience worth the question. LOL.)

I got into a room with a gown on, all the while leaving puddles as I went. Ewww.At 8:30, they checked me and I was 4 1/2 cm 70% effaced. My doc said they would give me 2 hours to see if contractions started or if I progressed at all, if not, they'd give me pitocin. In the mean time, they filled me up with saline drip and I signed stuff for my epidural.

At 11:00, I was given pitocin because labor hadn't started and I hadn't progressed, so I also got my epidural. (There is a completely different vent I could write about the dumb epi guy...but that's another story.)

YES! It was SUPREMELY AWESOME to go through my ENTIRE birth experience without an ounce of pain at all because I DIDN'T FEEL A SINGLE CONTRACTION!!! LOL.The monitor didn't actually show any contractions until about midnight.

I told my nurses that once it started, I would go fast. They were really awesome- two cute things named Mindy (both of them) and were just sweet as anything.

They came in at 1:00 though, because my baby was having what they called "lasts". His heart rate would dip with a contraction, but then not elevate all the way back up once the contraction was over. They had me change sides I was laying on and gave me oxygen. They didn't check me because "they had an hour ago, and I was still at a 4 1/2"....It really freaked me out because I've never had anything liek that happen. And honestly, I was getting impatient. Having already been at the hospital for more hours than any of my other babies took to be born, I was worried that something was wrong.

Well, at 2:15, they checked me and I was complete. The nurses laughed and were like "You weren't kidding when you said you'd go fast!" LOL. They said the "lasts" were, instead of the baby laying on the cord as it usually is, caused by the baby descending. It's really normal

SO they prepped me for pushing. My doc showed up and they said "We're going to do a few practice pushes just to see how you'll do." - I sat up and they both screamed "STOPPPP!!!" One of the nurses couldn't stop giggling. She was like "Wow!!! If you feel anything, DON'T PUSH!!"

When Doc got there, I pushed 2 times, but only because Teague had the cord around his neck and it had to be slipped off.

Apparently, my doctor was very impressed by his cord- which was HUGE and blue and spirally and awesome looking, and the first words out of my mouth were "He is so FAT!!!!" LOL.

I have no tears or cuts!!! YAY!!!I got to hold him for nearly a half hour before they took him to weigh him. He scored 10 on the apgar test, has amazing lungs (cries "maaa-maa" instead of "waaa-waaa" though...but I don't know if that means anything.) and he weights 8 POUNDS 3 OUNCES!!!!! That is HUGE for me- my others were 7.7 (lilly) 6.0 (Mahone) and 6.14 (Scarlet) LOL. He's 21 1/2 inches long, and he has looooots of blond hair. We can't quite tell what color his eyes are yet. They have adjusted several times. They might be brown, or they might be very dark blue.

My doctor, after delivering didn't even give me a chance to gloat about knowing all along. He said to the nurses: "She told me so! I should have listened! You said you wouldn't make it to your next appointment, let alone your induction date."

Maybe I will give him another chance the next time around now that he knows I mean business. LOL.

Teague is a champion nurser- LOVES to nurse...but the contractions I'm getting from nursing are furious and extremely painful. I have had to put him down a few times because I can't hold him with the pain. OOOOOOH I hope it stops soon!!!


Oh- and FTR, I ate a butt load of those ginger "break your water/jump start your labor" cookies on Saturday afternoon....in case anyone wants to try it. They're YUMMMMMMMY and can't hurt. I don't know if they are the culprit for my labor or not. But it was fun to try. I will be making the cookies anyway- even when i'm not pregnant. Recipe:

2 1/2 c. flour1 1/2 t. baking soda3/4 t. cinnamon1 t. ground ginger 1/2 t. ground cloves1/2 t. salt1/2 t. cayenne pepper 8 T. butter1/2 c. sugar1 c. brown sugar1/3 c. molasses1/4 c. egg whitesPreheat oven to 350 degrees. Combine flour, baking soda and spices and set aside. Cream the butter and sugars together. Add the molasses to the creamed butter, then add the egg whites until combined. Addd the dry ingredients slowly. Once incorporated, roll dough into 1 inch balls and place onto baking tray. Bake 8-10 minutes.