Touchy Topic Tuesday- Beauty and the Beast: True Love or Stockholm syndrome?

Beauty and the Beast:

True love, or Stockholm Syndrome?

Join the discussion on MBS also!!!!

Okay, let it be known that I actually love the Disney Princesses very much, and find them a great asset to our DVD collection. Personally, I feel that it's the way one looks at the Princesses, the way we discuss it with our children, the way we discover morals of the stories that matters. Not the princesses or the stories themselves.

All of them are very kind. There is an easy lesson to teach there.

Jasmine gets a lot of flack for being disobedient but really, she is just a strong woman who isn't afraid to say no to what she doesn't want and go get what she does.

The most common complaint I hear about Ariel is that moms don't like that she has to use her body to earn the prince's love. I mean, if you want to, you can go ahead and PUT your mind there in that gutter, and drag your kids along for the ride. Or, you can emphasize the importance of communication. Of GENUINE discussion verses superficial chameleon tendencies. "Body language" doesn't necessarily mean "Sex".

Tiana is a hard worker who learns balance between a time to work and a time to play.

With Beauty and the Beast, there is always the discussion about how people deserve a second chance. That no matter how badly we behave, we can change. We can be better. And with Gaston, the lesson learned is that it isn't about being jealous or about hate. It's about forgiveness and trust.

Speaking of Beauty and the Beast, this is the subject of my discussion today. As I said, I really love the princesses, but I am a woman. Which means I'm like Shrek. I'm an onion. I have layers. And I'm complicated.

Was Belle in love with the Beast? Or was she suffering from Stockholm syndrome? Let us diagnose:

1. Belle finds it difficult to fit in. I mean, Gaston's a jerk and it's obvious, so no one can really blame a girl for not falling flat on her face for him. But she is aloof from everyone else as well. She doesn't even have GIRL friends.

Of course, the story wants us to feel that this is because she's different. Better. They want us to think that it's because of her differences that helps her recognize the good in the Beast. Really, though, she's probably just snooty. It doesn't really make sense that she would BE friends with yet ANOTHER jerk. I mean, from the get go, the Beast is very much like Gaston.

2. Belle has a wild imagination. She likes to read books. And as Gaston says "...you start getting ideas and...thinking...." - Of course, reading is, by no means a bad thing, but, if she's anything like my son, Mahone, who has the imagination of an evil genius, it's possible she could get reality pretty mixed up with perception. Plus, she makes it pretty clear that she wants a fairy tale ending. For a girl with few prospects, the sudden appearance of a giant secret castle and a prince (no matter how big a dick he is) might be pretty difficult to let slip through her fingers.

3. Daddy leaves. I suppose by now, Belle is old enough to stay home alone, really. I mean, assuming that she's about the same age as the Beast, which is an argument in and of itself.

TANGENT:

In the beginning of the movie, stained glass animation tells the story of a young prince who rejects an old hag on a cold and rainy night. She then turns into a beautiful princess and places a curse on him to make him hideous and reflect his inner meanness.

A giant problem here.

The story says that the rose will bloom until his TWENTY FIRST YEAR. After that, if he has not found someone to love and to love him back, then he will remain a beast for eternity. The issue? In "Be Our Guest", Lumiere says "Ten years we've been rusting..."

That means, folks, that all this traumatizing stuff happened to an ELEVEN YEAR OLD BOY, AT THE OLDEST! There are so many problems with THIS, I don't know WHERE to begin!!!!

Seems to me like miss hag was probably just really a jaded babysitter who had a problem with the kid and used unethical punishments in his parents' absence. She probably needs some psycho-analysis herself.

Yes. I shall calm myself. It is a Touchy Topic for another Tuesday.

TANGENT OVER.

This story does not imply when Belle's mother died. In fact, it never even mentions her mother. It's possible that she's following along with the other princess' stories, and mom died in child birth. However, for the sake of argument, we're going to go with mom having taken off. So now, so does Daddy- to go to a fair with a really strange contraption that doesn't seem to have much real use. At which time, Gaston breaks into her house, nearly rapes her, and she is forced to go find Daddy all on her own.

Belle has some serious abandonment issues and may have been forced to be more mature than her age should imply.

4. Belle finds the Beast, who is quite the gentleman to begin with (read the sarcasm) and hates him. All that is to be expected. He is mean and gruff, and despite that, he gives her free reign of the castle due to it being her new home, EXCEPT for the West Wing.

ANOTHER TANGENT:

We're supposed to see Belle as the smart, "bookish" type...but what IDIOT goes gallivanting off into a part of the castle that has been very clearly forbidden by a huge disgusting Beast that could bite you in half? On the FIRST NIGHT she's there? Smart? Maybe. Wisdom is pretty dang low there.

TANGENT OVER.

5. After Belle thoroughly invades the Beast's privacy, he goes all kinds of ape nuts on her, smashes furniture, throws things, screams and stomps and throws a fit like the eleven year old boy that is trapped inside his lionesque body, and Belle flees.

Things get complicated here, because once again, like an idiot, Belle isn't thinking too clearly. It's the middle of the night in the dead of winter, and wolves are on the prowl. Soon, they are over taking her and her horse.

Of course, like a hero, the Beast shows up, rips them all to shreds, sends the little wimpy ones running off into the distance, and promptly collapses.

Now, any normal, sane and otherwise healthy person would take off and never look back. After all, the Beast can clearly take care of himself, and the Beast had earned no pity. Instead, Belle feels sorry for him, and takes him back to the castle. The movie would have us believe that it is because of her differences that she can see the good in the Beast, and that, in saving her, it has come to light (when, in fact, it was really just that he was so ticked off about her leaving, he had run out there to pluck her back up, throw her over his shoulder, and put her in the tower prison cell instead of a cushy bedroom.) The real issue: Belle craves acceptance. Having never been accepted at home or in her village, abandoned by both parents, she sees this gallant "rescue" as "something there that wasn't there before."

6. Having broken her spirit, the Beast can see that Belle will do what she is told. Typical behavior of a classic abductor. Wanting to be loved, himself, of course, the Beast is nice to her, now that he knows she will cooperate no matter what.

Mistaking the whole situation for "love", the Beast gives Belle her freedom, and she rides away to save her "dying" father as she has throughout her entire life (when really, he's just got a bit of a cold.)

7. Confronted by the townspeople about her crazy father, Belle tells them that there really IS, in fact, a Beast, and HE is not a monster at all, GASTON is, (never mind that they are actually quite similar characters.) The townspeople are enraged and run off to kill the Beast.

8. The true test begins now: Without Belle, the Beast falls into a depressed stupor. He DOES care about her, in a way- as any typical abductor does. It's corrupt care, but he cares. However, in this dark spot of the story, we see the lack of change glimmering through the climax. As Gaston and his lackeys are busting down the castle door, all of the Beast's servants are pleading with him to do SOMETHING- they are coming and they're going to kill everyone. The Beast replies "Let them come."

Do you see the problem here? He might care about Belle in his twisted, superficial way, but he hasn't learned to care about ANYONE ELSE. There are dozens, if not hundreds, of people -turned furniture- in there that will be killed, or sold at pawn shops should he lie down and take it.

He has not changed AT. ALL.

9. And, without any support at home, Belle returns to the only place where she really was accepted.

10. I guess in a sense, both of these disturbed individuals found their version of "true love." - it's not really so much of a "he loves me for who I am" or "She's so pure of heart that she could bust through this brick wall I have put up." It's more of a "I can be a jerk to her because she's used to it," and "He's not really that bad as a human with a castle, and after that life back THERE, I can handle anything."

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Remember, folks, I'm none too serious about this one. Over analysis is just one of those things that naturally occurs when a mom has watched a children's movie more times than she can count on a dozen hands. But feel free to add your opinions. Or just laugh. It's pretty funny.

Touchy Topic Tuesday- Disney Princesses and all the Controversy they Entail

Touchy Topic Tuesday: Disney Princesses and All the Controversy They Entail

(Unless otherwise specified, all pictures are taken from Google images)

Just for fun:
"twisted princess" pics
Slightly Dirty Disney Princes. (Peter Pan is my FAVE, for the record.)


As long as there are girls, parents are going to want to blame something else for their self esteem/image/weight issues.

Now, I have to apologize, because the article I am writing about is long lost. I read it back in December, maybe November, just before The Princess and the Frog came out. It was before I even STARTED my blog, or I would have saved it for sure. I have googled and searched and I cannot find the exact one. However, there is no shortage, whatsoever, of controversial Princess articles. Just google it and click on one. It will suffice.

The article I remember had many points of controversy:

*The new Princess Tiana of Princess and the Frog should be heavier. (Apparently it is not culturally or racially correct for a black girl to be thin.)

*Prince Naveen is not black. He is a mixture of many races including Indian and Cuban. But not black. (I don't really understand why this is controversial...but apparently it is.)

* All the Disney Princesses are apparently too skinny.

*All the Disney Princesses are white, and mostly blond haired with blue eyes- with the exception of Tiana, that is. The writer believed that this was racist on the part of Disney. (I remember this statement specifically because it kind of ticked me off. No, the majority of the princesses are not blond with blue eyes...but I'll get there.)

*All of the princesses are under-age. If it says an age at all, it says they're 16 years old. No 16 year old girl should be running off to marry some guy she is only in love with because he's handsome.

*It's terrible that our little girls are subject to the anti-feminism of being taught that their happiness is completely reliant upon their having a man.

I took my children to see The Princess and the Frog back at the beginning of January, and we all thought it was lovely. The princess is a beautiful, down to earth girl, while Prince Naveen is a slacker, though he learns, with Tiana's help, to be self sufficient. It's cute.

Now, I don't really have any arguments for the first statement. But I wouldn't have any argument if they were saying that racially and culturally a white girl shouldn't be so skinny. ( As highlighted in the second topic.) I'm an American. I see extremely huge black AND white women every day. Yes, the princesses are skinny. But they're cartoons, and a princess, by definition is IDEAL. Each princess, based on the time period is portrayed as the perfect woman. I do not believe that this is to sexualize her, but she is supposed to be a beautiful woman.

The unfortunate thing is that many would call this a case of "the Disappearing Waistline."
Please click here to see the article and where the pictures were taken from.

In My opinion, starting with Pocahontas in 1995, they start to get more realistic. She is neither a slip of a girl, nor is she hefty. And she has hips. Mulan, well, she's slight. She SHOULD be. She's Asian. How many husky Asian girls have you seen walking around China? Looks to me like, in that picture, at least, Tiana has at least some semblance of a booty. The point is, it doesn't matter. If they had MADE her curvier, people would have complained because it was a 'stereotype' or a 'stigma' that black women were heavy.

Anyway, is it really really wrong for our girls to have thin, in shape role models? Every day we battle a failing war against obesity. YES! Our girls should feel comfortable in their skin! But they should NOT feel comfortable with obesity. It's a health risk. It's a silent killer.

All I have to say about Prince Naveen not being black is "So effing what." ~eye roll~ Really, considering the movie's location: New Orleans, Naveen is, by time period definition: Creole. Is it really such a controversial subject? Really? Because in the '20's, when the movie takes place, yeah, most people who lived in New Orleans WERE Creole.

As for the majority of the princesses being blond and blue eyed, well, Aurora and Cinderella are the only two (out of 9- and that's not including the heroines who aren't princesses) who are blond and blue eyed. And it suits. Disney, while they have not stayed true to many of the stories (as many of them have unhappy endings) they HAVE stayed true to the culture the stories first came from:

Snow White: Germany. Hitler prefered blond blue eyed youth. But not all of them were so. NOT TO MENTION- the story is CALLED Snow White because her fair, pale skin and her blood red lips and her pitch black hair are a distinct part of the story.

Cinderella: Vaguely Scandanavian, but suspected to be from Sweden, Cinderella's blond hair and blue eyes are accurate, as is her pale skin.

Aurora, AKA Sleeping Beauty: Medieval England. Again, Blond hair, blue eyes, and fair skin suits.

Ariel: Denmark. Red hair and blue eyes are once again accurate. (I know. I'm part Danish. That's where I get my serious red highlights.)

Belle: France. Okay...look at her and TRY to tell me she does not look French.

Jasmine: Again, this one is obvious. She LOOKS like she's from Arabia. Anyway, the story is Aladdin's, not just hers.

Pocahontas: Pocahontas is the first story that is based on history instead of a fantasy. She is Native American, and yes, I do believe she resembles her heritage.

Mulan: Well...Mulan's not really a princess, but her story is also based on historical fact. She is Asian (Chinese) and looks rightly so.

Tiana- Our first black princess, though, the story is originally German. I love the story, and I love Tiana (she may be my FAVORITE!) but she is the first to deviate from the accuracy that Disney has so far followed in the originality of their Princess's physicalities and localities.

When it comes down to it, it's not a racial thing. It's a cultural thing for the most part.

Now, something that is very important to remember, and will include a lot of the topics above because they are, in essence, all part-and-parcel. What people who criticise these stories are not taking into account is that they are very very verrrrrrry old stories. These stories were told to girls back when getting married at 16 years old was normal, if you weren't married earlier. They were told to girls who would never find a Prince, and they knew it. They would never find a lover, even. And the most they could hope for was that he would be gentle. (Think of the song "Matchmaker" from Fiddler On The Roof.)

Many people think it's sexist because the Princesses seem to fall in love with a Prince at first sight. Really, that's exactly what they were hoping for because they did not usually know the man they married, or even see him until their wedding day.

I DO, however, agree whole heartedly that a little girl should never think that her happiness depends on a man. Though, I have to say that I do not feel that MY daughters are achieving this kind of complex by watching the Princesses. (Lilly has every single dress up gown, except for Jasmine's and Tianas, just because we haven't gotten to them yet.) Though I think that probably has more to do with the way her mother allows her father treat her than it has to do with her watching a princess movie, and feeling the hope that she might someday find the ONE she belongs with.

Likewise with the body image and self worth. It relies more on her mother than it ever will on an animated princess.

The way I see it is, every little girl, whether she is a feminist, or submissive, or passive aggressive, is going to grow up and find a man. Wouldn't you rather her be looking for a man who treats her like a princess than a man who ignores her because they are both so independent that they don't have time for each other? My husband is not stifling or controlling in any way. And he DOES treat me like a princess. (I guess the movies ruined me.)

I suggest parents stop worrying about the subtle, negative subliminal messages your daughter might contrive in watching a prince swoop in to the rescue, and think about the look on your daughter's face when she sees "true love's" perfect first kiss.

Honestly, the subtle things about the Disney Princess movies that DO bother me are things like:

*Why are all the mothers dead? (perhaps because this was also a norm in the times the stories were told originally. MANY more women died in childbirth then than they do today.)

*Why are all step-mothers evil? (Possibly because 1.a step mother was a relationship they could identify with, knowing my possible answer from the above topic, or 2. To easily create a villain without making the girl's own mother the one to hurt her.)

THESE are things that my children have actually asked me about. Never have I seen my daughter behave in such a way that I fear that she will be submissive (on the contrary, she is stubborn and bull headed to no end.) to a man, and daily, we talk about how beautiful, smart and kind she is.

Speaking of kindness, all of the princesses are famous for their kindness. And princesses such as Belle, Mulan, Pocahontas, and Tiana, are obviously very intelligent girls. I don't feel that this, in any way, can be considered a kind of setback.

All in all, I think that when my daughters COULD be into Bratz dolls, they ARE into Princesses. There are a lot of worse things out there than childhood love stories.

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Now let us know what YOU think! Do you think Disney Princesses are a bad influence? Do you think they're a good influence? How about issues such as race, age and weight? I'd love to know!

REMEMBER: PLAY NICE! We all want to respect each other around here!!