Touchy Topic Tuesday: Parenting Magazine- Posing naked to pay for child's college.

To my dear friends, and all who are popping in for the first time-

I am soooooo close to reaching my 300th follower! How exciting! Please, if you are not already, follow and boost my self esteem! Lets see if I can kick myself over that 300 follower hump today!!!!

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Touchy Topic Tuesday:

Parenting Magazine's August Issue Mom Debate:

"Would you pose naked for a magazine or website if it would pay for your child's college education?"

I LOVE magazines. Well, to be specific, I love catalogs. I like to look at pages and pages of adorable and expensive home decor, children's clothing, and Victoria Secret lingerie. I love Martha Stewart's magazine, and wishing I had time and money to spend pruning roses, arranging them and then use them to spruce up a table meant for an elegant party with wonderful foods and desserts that I prepared myself. Particularly when that party might be for a spooky, yet adorably tasteful Halloween bash, or a lavish Christmas dinner where everyone dresses formally. I could dress my children in something precious from Boden.

I like Better Homes and Gardens, and Country Living. How delicious, or spacious and just so beautifully quaint. My mom subscribes to them all, and I usually end up bringing them home with me in boxes once she is done with them.

My husband subscribes to National Geographic, which we pour over each month, always interested in whatever articles they may have. Debates always follow, and, of course, we always feel a bit smarter afterwords.

I do NOT, however, love- or even like, for that matter- parenting magazines.

Child, Parenthood, Baby, Parenting, etc. Those magazines have even more of an ability to make me feel awful about myself as a person, a parent and an adult than any teen magazine ever did, and even more so than walking through a Victoria Secret store while 9 months pregnant, too large to fit even into my own maternity clothes, therefore, sporting my husbands pajama pants and a 6 year old Air Force t-shirt.

I HATE being told what to do or how I'm doing it wrong and what I SHOULD be doing when it comes to parenting. And I sometimes get severely irritated by letters to the editor and/or some of the poll results from the questions they pose each month.

So, the solution is easy, right? Don't subscribe.

Yeah, I don't.

EXCEPT that earlier in my pregnancy, I happened to buy a shirt and pair of pants from A Pea In the Pod, and my purchase came with a free one year subscription to Parenting magazine.

I didn't think much of it, figured I'd flip through and then throw them out, maybe rip out a page of recipes here or there, which, for the most part, is how the process has gone.

In the August issue, however, I came across something that I found pretty severely shocking to me.

As mentioned above, in every issue there is a question posed, and you can vote and leave comments online, and they publish the results in the next month's issue.

In August, the results were for the question: Would you pose naked for a magazine or website if it would pay for your child's college education?

The question wasn't shocking. Not even the results. Okay- I'm lying. The results WERE shocking to me, as 53% of women who answered said....YES!!!!!! 47% obviously said No. And what's shocking about that was that MORE THAN HALF of the women who answered, which, in some degree, represents mothers as a collective entity, apparently have no morals.

Yes, I realize that's a blatant and forward statement. I do not feel that posing naked for pictures that are to be published for public view is in any way moral or admirable. IN ANY DEGREE. I don't care if it pays for a cure for cancer. There is absolutely no reason that a woman should have the feeling that demeaning her body by allowing a world full of men and or/women to ogle, discuss, masturbate to, or otherwise demoralize her body. It has absolutely NOTHING to do with a woman being comfortable in her skin, or feeling beautiful, or good enough. It has to do with morals- or better yet, the lack thereof.

PerHAPS I might understand a little more, if not agree with, the majority being FOR the option if the rhetorical situation had to do with a mother's starving children or something else that otherwise played on the emotions. But, a college education?

Well, maybe it's because my husband and I paid our own ways through college with grants, loans and military service, while working full time or multiple jobs, but I don't really have any sympathy for kids who whine about their parents who won't pay for college. And I don't have any empathy for parents who feel like they're failures because they can't support their own lives as well as their college student.

When I plan to have a baby, while I take into consideration how much money it will cost to HAVE the squishy little thing- hospital, doctors visit, etc.- as well as how much food will cost when the baby eventually joins us at the table, clothing, toys, and so on, a college education is not something I plan on providing for my children. (But that is a debate for another time, and for the record, I am, by no means, saying that college is not important.)

No, the most shocking part of this poll were the answers on the "for" side of it:

"What's a one time public embarrassment compared to my child's future? (BTW,that's saying a lot coming from me because I don't even like my husband seeing me naked.)"

My opinion: HOW would you be comfortable showing your body to a world full of men who have ZERO respect for you when you can't even let your husband, who loves you enough to be WITH you and be MARRIED to you, to have CHILDREN with you, see your body?

Are you aware that this would not be a one time embarrassment? Magazines will be kept for a good long time by some people. Online sites keep anything that makes money. You could be around a long time on one of those. And if you did that, forget ever becoming a school teacher or police officer or any other number of jobs. Those kinds of things are the types that are researched and found when background checks are made. Your child, in possible actuality, might be very able to find you there, so obviously exposed to the world, on his/her own.

Also, I have to wonder if the mother that posted this has a very young child at the moment. I think that she might be basing this opinion on her child being very little, because if she did it now, she thinks it would just go away, and she'd have money for her baby's college, far in the future...but, exactly how do you think her child might feel, being a tween, or teen or even IN college at the time, having a mother that poses nude for a magazine. I think that some mothers might hope or even be sure that their child would be proud of her, and thankful. I think, in actuality, that the child of an exposed mother would just feel very exposed his/herself.

"I would do it because I never even got a high school education and i know that I can't afford to send my kids to college. I want them to have an easier time in this world than I did. A real parent would sacrifice anything for her children, including her own self-respect and dignity, and would teach her kids to think the same way when it comes to their own children."

My Opinion: This answer is the one that probably ticked me off the most. First of all, if you didn't get a high school education, I feel that it explains a lot about this idiot response. A person who has children and has the self motivation, guts, self discipline, and self respect, to go BACK to school, get a high school diploma or college degree is going to set a better example and gain more respect from her children, and influence their decisions to finish high school and go to college than a mother who takes her clothes off for money- even if that money is for them.

Every parent wants their child to have a better life than theirs was. But I'm not sure that giving them an "easier" life is the way to go about it. The entitled-ness of some of the teenagers I teach at my church is ridiculous sometimes, and I think making them work for something is a good idea. Even if that means college. Yeah. It's expensive. So what. There are ways to get through it.

You say "A real parent would sacrifice anything for her children, even her own self respect...."...riiiiight. A REAL parent, huh? I don't think anyone needs to tell me or any OTHER "real" parent about sacrifice. We all do things every single day that we don't like doing. We give up careers, friends, financial stability, cute sports cars, our perky breasts, tight buts, flat tummies and narrow hips. Most of us find this sacrifice rewarding in the long run. But if you want to talk about sacrifice, let's go back to my first paragraph in this response to you: Go back to school YOURSELF. GAIN some self respect as opposed to sacrificing it. Sacrificing self respect is NOT a sacrifice. It's not admirable. It's martyrdom and completely abhorrent. I want my children to respect me, not be disappointed in me. I want them to see me and be proud of me, not remember my naked body out there for all to see. I want my children to know that i worked hard for them, that I did my very best to be an example to them and be the kind of person i want them to be. I wouldn't want them to take the easy way out. So I can't do that either. Posing naked to pay for college isn't something I want my daughters to do. How I can I send that message to them if it's something that I am willing to do? I suggest that you reevaluate your definition of a "REAL" parent.

"I would do anything for my son, and would love to show the world what a real woman looks like! Maybe my stretch marks would make girls think twice about premarital sex too- lol."

My Opinion: My suggestion is that you go work for Dove and their "Real women, real beauty" campaign. They don't make you take your clothes off, at least not in a sexual way. And your stretch marks will be welcome there. I wouldn't feel ashamed for my son or daughter to see me on a Dove commercial, but opening up a website where I stood there in my skin, or lay across a centerfold would be off limits in my home. I'm pretty sure that the world knows what a real woman looks like...and for the most part, that's why they look at porn sites. Because they're not real women. They're painted and edited and the lighting is adjusted accordingly. The world sees real women every day. And women who pose naked and allow themselves to be changed (because Playboy would not let a PERFECT woman pose without airbrushing her) are perpetuating the tolerance that the world has for the lies you think you could single handedly change.

Furthermore, whoever would agree that teenage girls seeing stretchmarks would keep them from having premarital sex is lying to themselves. Or they're insanely naive. It's like how, in health class in 10th grade, they showed us a video of a birth, and two or three of the boys fainted. Did it stop us from having sex? Well- I didn't have sex, but that was a moral and religious reason, not because I saw a baby pushed out a vagina with all the gore that that implies. But no, it didn't stop "us". If that were so effective, it wouldn't just stop teens, it would stop women from EVER having children. You don't just suddenly get over the fear of stretch marks and labor pains when you grow up and get married. That's just a really stupid theory.

Anyway, as it stands, it's pretty obvious that I would never in a million years pose for a magazine, or website or anything naked in the name of my child. (Or anything else for that matter.) And I'm not exactly a prude. I AM religious, and i believe in personal modesty. I believe in self respect, and I believe that public nudity is demeaning, irresponsible, and just all around a bad example. I don't believe that any good can come of it. I am comfortable in my skin. I feel I'm a very pretty girl, with curves, and battle scars (stretch marks) that I'm insanely proud of. I don't cover my body in thick sweaters all year long, or worry about putting on a swimming suit. But I feel that I am worth, and my children deserve, more than sexual exploitation.

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PLEASE contribute to today's Touchy Topic Tuesday and let us know where YOU stand on this topic and why!

Remember, differing opinions are allowed, encouraged, and respected, but personal attacks, foul language, and otherwise mean comments will not be tolerated, and will be deleted immediately.

Thanks!!!

Feel Good Friday and Letters of Intent

You know the drill friends! Click the button and hop on over to link up and tell us what's making you HAPPY!!!

1. Remember the wings I wrote about last week??? All of them are shipped off and delivered! And so far, everyone who has received them LOVES them, which makes me happy because I get pretty nervous about whether or not they will be exactly what they were picturing.

2. Our house is no longer a sick house. We have all stopped puking, and I have sanitized everything, and it is safe for you to come over now without catching our illness.

3. I am so excited because on Saturday, Brandon and I get to go to a Murder Mystery dinner that is hosted every year (3rd annual!!!) by our dear friends. It's going to be awesome!!

4. Pumpkin. I think I mentioned this last week. But I'm still happy about it.

Pumpkin muffins with cream cheese frosting and pecans...ooooooh.

Scarlet chewing on a big bite of my pumpkin butterscotch chip cookies. Ooooooh again.

5. UEA weekend. Brandon doesn't get any time off for this, but it's great. I mean, he gets school off, which means he's home in the morning, but he still has to go to work. But Lilly and Mahone both being out of school means that I didn't have to drive anywhere, nor did I make them read to me or do homework. We sat in our jammies all day, watched tv, ate cereal for 2 meals and were otherwise big fat slobs. It was fun. And we're doing it again tomorrow. Hey- don't judge me. I'm a very busy woman every other day of the week.

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Come on friends- you KNOW you have a letter to write to someone. Lets see it!

Dear Molly,

I love your stinkin' guts.

And when I say stinkin', I mean STINKIN'. You are THE smelliest dog ON.THE.PLANET.

Honestly, you've heard of that book Walter the Farting Dog? Well, he's got nothing on you.

Here I sit, blogging away, and you, like the loyal, good girl you are, are sleeping under my chair, just snoring away...and while the gas you pass is silent, it's seriously deadly.

Never in my life have I ever smelled anything quite so putrid as your broken wind.

All my dog owning friends have told me not to let you eat anything but dog food. But you are not allowed to beg, and you are not given table scraps.

They say not to give you too many treats. But your treats are only Milk Bones, and if you're lucky, you get 2 a day.

It must be the raw hides you eat constantly.

Unfortunately, it's either the raw hides or our shoes. So, if it makes you happy and keeps your puppies-chew-because-that's-what-they-do-ness at bay.....well, then, I guess I'm going to have to learn to deal with it....and maybe God will bless me with a head cold.

Lovingly,

Point your rear end THAT way.

P.S. Don't think I didn't notice the muddy footprints on my white upholstered chair. I know it was you. Hunter knows better. You're lucky it's from IKEA, and washable.

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Dear Utah Drivers,

(Yes, I felt that if I didn't include a letter to Utah drivers that I would be betraying you all somehow. LOL.)

Roundabouts are NOT the same thing as four way stops.

The End, Love Braeleigh.

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Dear Camy,

I love you. You are an inspiration. Thanks for kicking my butt into gear. You give me far too much credit.

Love you forever,

Braeleigh

Mahone-isms

When Mahone was 1, I used to put his hair in a faux-hawk. I called him Stud-muffin. So, if he wanted a faux-hawk, he'd bring me the gel and say "Dud-miffin!"

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Once, at age 1, he put on Lilly's fairy wings and said "Mommy, I a bug!"

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When we moved from Alabama to Utah, we drove through Texas and Arizona to get back to Utah where we were moving. Mahone was so excited when the mountains started to appear that in the back seat, he started shrieking "Big rocks! Big Rocks!!! BIG BIG ROCKS!!!!"

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When he was 2, he said his name was "Hone Fraphael" (Mahone Raphael)

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The day before Thanksgiving when Mahone was 2, we asked him what he was thankful for. His answer was "Thanksgiving, and rockets and snuggles."

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At age 2, we were at my mom's and she had lost her voice. Mahone said "You need new batteries, Ammah? I don't have batteries in MY mouth."

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Mahone went through a phase where he wouldn't answer to anything except for "Jack the pumpkin king" (Nightmare Before Christmas) and he also loved astronauts. So, once, he told us that he was "Jack Astronaut. (Say that outloud and TRY not to laugh.)

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In March of '09, I asked Mahone how he and I were the same. He said "We both have bones"

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Mahone LOVES Star Wars. When he was 3, he was being particularly naughty. I asked him what was up and he said "I'm just acting like Dark Vadar!!!"

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Once, Mahone's dad was pretending to be the emperor from Star Wars and was tickling him with his "force lightning" and Mahone said "Dad, am I a jedi like my father before me?"

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On October 4, 2009, Mahone said his bedtime prayer by himself. It went like this: "Heavenly Father, I'm thankful for this day. I'm thankful for my family and my closet and astronauts and worms. Please help me to be nice to my mom, but not nice to bad guys. I 'save' these things in the a name of jesus christ amen."

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Once, in the car, Lilly and Mahone were fighting about something and Mahone cried out "MOM! Lilly's being an antagonist again!"

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In September of 2010, Mahone was watching Currious George on Tv. When it came on, Mahone got excited and screamed "GEorge the Ape!" (who he previously called George the Monkey) and I asked why he was an Ape and Mahone said "He can't be a monkey mom- he doesn't have a tail!"

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Once, the bishop came into the primary to announce the month's theme and he said "Is everyone happy to be here?" Everyone but Mahone said "Yes"- his voice was loud and clear and he said "No- I'm not!" Then, the bishop showed a picture of the earth and Jesus was above it. Mahone said "Jesus lives above the earth in the sky and I want to live with him someday...so I'll need to get a rocket pack."

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We met my cousin David for the first time in the spring of '10, and he asked Mahone's name. He said "Superman." and my cousin said "No, your REAL name." And Mahone said "Clark Kent."

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Mahone was watching Star Wars with his dad, and the part where Jabba the Hut makes Leia a slave came on. He said "I like Leia best when she is not dressed modest." Brandon, trying to enforce our beliefs on modesty said "But she's ALSO pretty when she IS modest." Mahone said "No. No she's not. I like the things she puts on her things."

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Mahone: Mom, do you know Utah is an island?
Me: Uh...no....
Mahone: Yeah- because of the Salt Lake. people came here on boats, but got lost and went the wrong way. So now, we have Tooele.

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Mahone to Scarlet: "Keep ASKING dad until he agrees!!!"


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Mahone was wiggling around all over the place, and I asked him what he was doing. His answer: "I'm trying to make my body become even more fantastic."

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(After going pee) "Our bodies take water and turn it into gold!"

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It's Thanksgiving time. Have you heard about the sugar plums and the indians?

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I am a child of God, and so my knees are gray....

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Mom, do you want me to sing every song I know right now?

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(At Kindergarten tea where he was wearing a nametag on his superman shirt) Why is everyone calling me Mahone? Can't they see I'm super man?!

Haikus, take 2

This is a repeat. I admit it. I am being lazy today (Okay- I'm not being lazy. Brandon and I have been throwing up all morning, Scarlet was throwing up last night, and Lilly was sick on Monday. I'm just WAITING for Mahone to catch it. I have to get 3 pairs of wings ready for shipping tomorrow and finish a large pair of wings for delivery tomorrow, and cut out about 200 business cards to deliver with said pair of huge wings. I'm not lazy, I'm sick and out of time.) and I was looking into the deep banks of my past posts, and I found this one.

It's from a writer's prompt from www.mamakatslosinit.com back in March, which is something I normally participate in on Thursdays anyway, so I thought it was appropriate. I can't write today, but I still wanted to put something up.

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Haikus about my favorite part of the day.

p.s. Dear babies- even though you don't read this, I have to say it: I know I'm cranky right now. I know that sometimes it seems like I tolerate you instead of enjoy you. But I wouldn't trade a single stressed out moment for a lifetime of money, ease, fame, or things. I love you. YOU are my favorite part of EVERY day. (OMG. My hormones are out of control. I'm going to bawl my eyes out writing this.)


breakfast table, cool.
giggles, berries, sugar, prayers.
"Mommy?" "Hmm?" "Love you!"



On the road, buckled.
"Want to hear a story mom?
It is about me."


Little fist on door.
"Mommy! I waked up!" cheeks hot
Grin, with nap time gone.

Still breath on pillows,
Footie jammies keep toes warm.
Finally, my time.

Wordless Wednesday: The Farm and the Corn Maze.

As always, please head over to

www.5minutesformom.com

to link up your photos!!!

Local honey. Always soooo delicious!

Corn Cob Guns. I bet you can guess how happy Mahone was?

Me (all fat from this baby belly, and with my awful haircut), and my cousins Beth and David.

A CORN box! It's like a sand box...but better!

The corn maze

Notice Scarlet's naked baby doll on the swing.

Touchy Topic Tuesday- A Father's Role in the Home

I have a question:

Before we get started on our famous Touchy Topic Tuesday, I have to ask you: What would you like to see on my blog here?

I ask, because I am admittedly very much a sucker for attention and validation. I daresay that any blogger who gives a dang about how many people read their blog is just like me, and to an extent, their self esteem is quite affected by that little number than manifests above their Google friend connect.

There is a sad thing that happened recently: I lost 5 followers in 2 days.

Now, I'm not sure it has anything to do with me, or possibly it's because I had a giveaway, and some of my followers simply clicked that blue button only to get an entry.

BUT, just in case, I want to know what kinds of things YOU, my beloved readers, would like to see on my blog!

I live to serve.

Thanks in advance for the input!!!

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Touchy Topic Tuesday:

A Father's Role in the Home.

As a kid, I grew up with a very involved dad.

We had dinner as a family, he helped with homework, he came to parent teacher conference, he usually was the one who picked us up early from school to take us to dentist, doctor or orthodontist appointments.

My dad was always involved in my mom's activities- such as blowing up multiple pools and filling them with warm water from the house, along with filling balloons full of water for her preschool swimming parties each year- as pictured above from earlier this summer. And he didn't just set up, he was there, roasting and serving the hot dogs, pushing the kids on the merry go round, and making sure all the parents got pelted with those aforementioned water balloons.

I remember multiple times when my dad would help my brother- and even me, on occasion, build pinewood derby cars for scouts, helping me build an epic mars shaped valentine box for school because there would be a contest, and I wanted to win- which I did.

Science projects, homework, boondoggles, family vacations, and fixing stuff. Yes. My dad wasn't the kind of guy to promise that he'd fix something and then put it off forever. It was always done immediately.

And never once do I remember my dad complaining about having to stay home with us kids while my mom went out with friends, or for a church meeting, or shopping or whatever thing might come up. Sure, dinner with dad was ALWAYS grilled cheese- but it was really good grilled cheese.

It actually wasn't until I was married with a child or two that I found out that not all dads are like this.

I mean, of course, I've heard of dads who walk out, or abuse their kids. I had friends who had jerk dad. Those are always awful cases, but I thought that all kids who HAD a dad who was regularly around had a dad who was responsible, respectable, and otherwise all around great. I thought that my friends were exceptions.

Well, you can call me innocent and naive if you want. Sheltered, sure....but I was admittedly shocked when I heard what some of my friends would say when we planned a girls night out:

"I'll have to see if my husband is okay with babysitting that night."

Or variations on that sentence.

Are you seeing what's wrong with this sentence? Is the same thing bothering you about it that is bothering me?

I couldn't fathom that a mother would have to ask her husband if he was OKAY with watching her children...no, not "watching", "BABYSITTING."

Of course, I definitely think that saying "I have to see if he's okay with this" is a great communication line. I mean, maybe there's something planned that night and one might have to check a schedule. Perhaps that husband works a lot, and that free night isn't really a "free" night, because it's the only night in a week you get to spend together.

But asking your husband to "babysit?" Yeah, I actually do have a problem with this.

Some might say that it's just a word. A way to imply that the person in question will be responsible for the children. But I disagree. It's derogatory, in my opinion, when used between parents. Parents do not babysit. Both parents had a hand in conceiving and delivering and raising that child, and I'll honestly be hanged if my husband ever implies that he feels that I have more responsibility for them than he does simply because I'm the mother.

The saddest part is, in my own experience, those women who ask their husbands if they can babysit on any given occasion, are the ones who are constantly left alone while their husband goes out with friends to drink or play video games because he feels, as the man and 'bread winner' of the home, he is entitled to some free time with buddies and that his wife, since she stays home or because she happens to be maternal has no need for friendships outside his own, and no need to take a break. This mentality, I am finding, is really very common, and very misogynistic, if you ask me.

A father, when asked to care for his children while his wife goes out for an evening, should be happy to do it. Even if he's not, and he'd rather be doing something else, he ought to be man enough to realize that his role as a husband and father isn't just to bring home the bacon, but to be involved, and if that means his wife needs a break, to take over for a couple of hours.

Once, while I was out with a group of my friends, there was one woman who had asked her husband to babysit, as opposed to letting him know that she needed him to watch their 4 year old son. (I actually remember her specifically, because she called me in tears the night before as her asking him had actually caused a pretty hefty argument.)

Half way through our meal, the husband called and told her she needed to come home. Their son had started to throw up, and he just couldn't handle it. It was too disgusting.

So, she left.

This bothered me a lot because we hadn't even been gone an hour yet, and weren't planning on partying all night. It was a simple girls dinner, not even a movie, and we'd be back in 2 to 3 hours. Why did he have to call her, ruin her night, and demand that she come take care of a sick child that was as much his as hers? He couldn't let her enjoy the evening and ask her for her help when she got home?


I have also had the sad issue of dealing with this at church.

You see, as a relief society, we have activities for the women once every 3 months. It's called our Quarterly Activity.

Every other ward I have been in has always had a "child's class" for those women who need to bring their children in order to participate. I think this is wonderful, as some of them have husbands who work nights or swing shifts, or there could be any other number of things. But in all my other wards, the child's class, which is really just held in the nursery where the kids play with toys or play dough or color the whole time, was always supervised by - you guessed it- Dads. Dads who would come with their wives and kids, out of the kindness of their hearts and play with their children, and the children of other women who had to bring them. They'd bring them to us for diaper changes, potty breaks, or if they were sad, but otherwise, they had a good time.

The ward I am in now, however, refuses to do this.

When I first moved into the ward, I was asked by the relief society president if, when I came to the quarterly meeting, would I be in charge of the child's class. When I replied no, I'd rather not, she got snooty with me and said that we all need to take our turns and it's not fair that I should enjoy a class while a mother who had brought her children with her should not.

My reply was to ask how it was fair that I leave my own children at home with my husband, who loves his children dearly and is willing to watch them, to come to a meeting we have 4 times a YEAR just so that I can watch another woman's children and miss the spiritual or social uplifting that I should be entitled to.

Again, she replied that we all have to take our turns. And again, I told her no. I don't mean to be uncharitable, but I feel that those children should be watched by their fathers, or that the bishopric or other men should be willing to watch the children while the women meet (again, I placed emphasis on the words) FOUR TIMES A YEAR- ONCE EVERY 3 MONTHS, and that none of us women should have to miss a meeting that many of us desperately need to be at.

"Well, we don't use men around here. They might molest our children."

I think my mouth literally dropped.

Okay, it happens. Yes, it does, and it's every parent's nightmare. But never in a million years would I have feared for my children down the hall in my other wards. There were always at least 4 men at a time. That's a pretty big number to keep tabs on each other. No one was ever alone. And they always left the doors open. Frequently, if a child cried, a mother would recognise the cry, and get up to see what had happened before one of the dads had a chance to bring him or her down to the room we were in.

Do I think that with men precautions should be made? Of course. But I have kept my children out of reach of certain women before due to my suspicion that they were overly impatient or physical. I think it works BOTH ways.

So, I tried one more time: "Perhaps we can ask the bishopric and the Elders Quorum and Priesthood classes to remind their husbands that this is an important night for our ladies, and request that the dads make themselves available."

She sighed, all exasperated, and retorted something about how fathers can't be trusted any more than male babysitters.

And so, my last reply to her, before hanging up the phone was "If you suspect that your husband might be molesting your child, and you do not leave your children alone with him for fear of it, then you should not be married to him."

Perhaps it was snide. But I feel I made a good point.

( No good father will ever be ashamed to be seen carrying his daughter's naked baby doll. )

As it stands, I have a husband who would never dream of telling me that he is not responsible for our children, nor would he ever say something snotty to me like "You wanted them, YOU take care of them."

He is always happy to see his kids, and tries to spend as much time as possible with them, even though that time is limited with his school and work. But he's supportive.

I realize that I got lucky- well, at least I got blessed. I would never have married a man who did not share my opinions about caring for our children, and yes, we did, in fact, engage in conversation about this very thing before marriage.

But not all men are like this naturally. However, I DO think that as mothers and wives, it IS our responsibility to stand up to a man who might otherwise think that his responsibility is done when he can check 'conceive' and 'bring home a check' off his list, and let them know that his fatherly duties extend beyond that of a bachelor who happens to have little people bearing his genetic code.

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Monday Blog Hop for a day that I'm feeling a bit of writer's block.